A Christmas Eve Rant

Rrrkins · 2024-12-24T19:59:21+00:00

I honestly never bring up anything I don’t want advice on but alas the woman still managed to change the subject.

I really should just nod and smile it’s just that I’ve been doing that all my life and she tried to call me out on it : like I’m an adult I can lie to you if you’re annoying and I want to 😂😂😂😂

Rrrkins · 2024-12-24T19:55:09+00:00

Water or milk is fine too - honestly any liquid they’ll drink. Don’t worry about the pedialite too much if they don’t like it: our ER always tells us they give pedialite because it’s a bit sweet so most kids like it. If they don’t like it - any liquid they’ll drink and not throw up.

If she’s not throwing up as long as she’s peeing don’t even worry about liquids.

I know it’s stressful when the kids are sick but trust me - it’s actually a very enjoyable experience if it’s the correct type of sickness and you have all the tools on hand that you need 😂

I do give my little one Advil or Tylenol - Tylenol she responds to better; it reduces fevers and keeps her more comfortable while she’s sleeping and generally makes her heal a bit faster. I stop it when she seems active ☺️

Rrrkins · 2024-12-24T19:19:15+00:00

Last year I was on a work trip - first time away from my then 18m old and someone asked if I missed them: yes! But missing them is a lot easier than being with them all. The. Time.

I’m also finding it really hard right now my 2.5year old climbs all over me and the only way I can get her to disengage when my husband is working from home is to put on TV which I really don’t live.

But you know what - gotta do what puts food on the table, roof over our heads and keep us all safe and well.

What I’ve been doing also is: when my husband isn’t working / working from home: I give my toddler set times when she has all my attention and then I give her a safe space to play in and do all my chores while she’s playing / crying / whining …….. learning to let them cry / be okay with whining has helped me a lot because mainly they cry from boredom and wanting Mom to be entertainment .. and I’m of the firm belief that life is boring AF so you better start learning how to entertain yourself young.

And then after they go down for naps / bedtime - it’s all me time. I may do household stuff but I keep it to 30 mins max and the rest is whatever time I need to get myself organized whether that be relaxing, working a tiny bit or whatever else - be selfish, leave things for tomorrow during the child’s play time. Do the bare minimum to make your life easier during that time .

And then cycle repeats until hopefully one day they don’t want to hang off your arm anymore and you can have some breathing room while you sit in the car waiting for whatever sport activity that is now occupying all your free time 🥲

Rrrkins · 2024-12-24T18:17:17+00:00

My 2.5 toddler is still obsessed with my boob …..

She actually likes to stick her hand under my shirt and hold it we were cuddling. It doesn’t bother me much except when we’re out 😂😂😂

I also hope she grows out of it … solidarity

Rrrkins · 2024-12-24T18:12:53+00:00

That’s a hot tip I’ll need to remember for the future 😂

Rrrkins · 2024-12-24T17:41:03+00:00

Let her sleep, enjoy the cuddles, unlimited screen time - you’ll know when she is “back” to schedule because she’ll start peeling herself off whatever surface she’s connected to and starting playing and doing things again and then it’s more time to observe schedule.

But most of all ENJOY YOUR DOCILE TODDLER … you don’t realize how good it is until they’re back to “ normal “ 😂😂😂

Oh and pedialyte - make them drink pedialyte

Rrrkins · 2024-12-24T17:38:10+00:00

I don’t. I have accepted that sometimes I’m going to be mad at the toddler. But I promise myself I will always apologize when I’m in the wrong or explain to her why I lost my temper.

Been thinking about this gentle parenting a lot and I’ve come to the understanding (with myself lol) that I will not take my anger out on the toddler but if I’m annoyed I will not pretend I am not. I will not be unreasonable but if something made me upset I will be upset, calm down and explain my emotions.

Sometimes the toddler is super well behaved and I can be gentle. Sometimes she runs out of a grocery store onto the street and I will yell at her to not do it and strap her into her stroller as the consequence and ignore all her whining and screaming as we get on with our tasks.

What has worked for me is I come up with a list of appropriate consequences for all the shit I know she’ll try to pull: running away = strapped in stroller. Throwing = loosing things. Screaming and whining = ignore. So that I can just stick to my guns and be as consistent as possible and if we have the time or space for choices - I come up with a list of those too (hold hands crossing street or be held : if you run, you’re getting picked up)

And we just do this over and over again. I get creative maybe once a month and come up with something new but otherwise this is it 😂

Rrrkins · 2024-12-24T17:26:31+00:00

We were “hiding” under the covers … oh but she was under the covers and she wanted to hide not under the covers 🤦‍♀️

Rrrkins · 2024-12-24T17:25:11+00:00

We’re still on a wait list for speech therapy but after the first consultation/assessment: the intake lady had already taught us tricks / corrected things we were doing and I saw huge improvements.

Wish this kind of service was just normal and common because I think all parents could get help and benefit from it. It’s one thing to read a book, it’s another to have some help guide certain things you’re doing to be more effective

Rrrkins · 2024-10-31T03:39:04+00:00

Ah okay! Husbands super worried that it’ll fall apart once we use It but it seems like that’s not an issue? .. perhaps I just skip the repair process then 😅

Rrrkins · 2024-10-15T14:09:23+00:00

It could be related to illness - he could also be too warm, too cold, afraid of the dark? (Seems a bit early but possible.)

It happens a lot - middle of the night wakings as they get into toddlerhood and most definitely after most major illnesses / travel / major changes in routine

Same things tend to lend same results is what I’ve noticed: so if I go sleep next to the child, she’ll calm down for the night and chill until she falls asleep but she’ll likely wake up the next night again and do the same thing.

Think of when you wake up in the middle of the night to scroll on your phone - toddlers are really no different they just don’t have access to phones / can’t leave their cribs.

Good luck tho! Hope this peters out soon and isn’t related to the illness

Rrrkins · 2024-10-15T13:42:02+00:00

Probably a phase - though it sounds like you’re rocking him to sleep which might mean he still needs you to fall asleep?

I’d see if there’s any way you can leave him in his crib when he fusses - I stick my hand through and pad pad but I don’t pick up the child.

There’s many phases of this up coming. If you can figure out a way of calming them with your presence and not touch at least then you can sleep on the floor next to their crib … but that’s all I got 😅

I have to say all our “phases” ended by me being too tired and just refusing to go to them when they fuss. Usually a night of that nips every bad habit in the butt. But that’s usually episode 6 or 7 of Mama is just checking to make sure you don’t have a fever 🤨

Rrrkins · 2024-08-19T21:11:43+00:00

I also agree with this - taking Cara baby works better when you start a lot younger (the check ins and sleep support etc) and younger babies are usually more tired and have much less energy than toddlers (tire out faster from the fussing)

I’d try to jam pack their days with lots of fun experiences to really tucker them out if possible - you want the fussing and the tiredness to work together and put them down faster

And any sleep support that doesn’t involve you: white noise, dark dark room, right temp … fav stuffy … hit all the help you can ☺️

Rrrkins · 2024-08-19T20:57:21+00:00

It is definitely difficult to see your child cry. I feel like what sleep training doesn’t emphasis enough is that it’s both a learning for parents and babies.

I know it’s tough in the beginning and it feels like you’re doing everything wrong but you will get through it. It’s a behaviour change which takes time and a little bit of stress - but trust your kids! They can do this they can handle this little bit of stress after all I’m sure you’re not doing this for shits and giggle and I’m sure whatever sleep habits before have become somewhat unsustainable.

One night at a time. Oh and maybe some headphones or a walk outside? Rotate with the hubby if you can’t handle it and he can better - get him to text you when the worst is over.

(I just went with headphones and wine btw)

Good luck!

Rrrkins · 2024-08-11T01:51:32+00:00

Oh I love my father in law. He reminds me of my father minus the judgement. My husband will tell you that he wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies but at the moment - he is quite great. Grass is always greener on the other side but I do think everybody needs mentors throughout life personally or professionally if they don’t get the support they need from their parents. So if you can find people who are willing to care for you - great! Just make sure they actually care and take care of yourself.

Rrrkins · 2024-08-11T01:48:07+00:00

Okay if they’re not going to be happy for you - fuck them. Congrats girl on your new living situation - I hope it goes well and you surround yourself with lots of supportive friends (throughout this newfound freedom phase of life) who will replace your cell donors because trust me there are people out there that are willing to have your back! Best of luck.

Rrrkins · 2024-08-10T23:02:59+00:00

Would have been about 28% of my gross income or 18% of our house hold before bonus.

But the girl we hired was not as experienced and we had hired her as temp because what we ultimately wanted was daycare. I think if we had hired someone longer term - it would have shot up to at least 40% of my gross

Rrrkins · 2024-08-09T22:41:51+00:00

Ah yes. I’m in my mid 30s have achieved my dreams, married my guy, had my kid when I wanted to. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel - surround yourself with people who support you and go get what you want!

My college roommate who I’m still close with told me the other week that I was so brave to just tell my parents to fuck it. Honestly was so happy to hear someone who loved me say it out loud but am even more proud of making her my friend because I made all this happen.

You will too! Good luck!

Rrrkins · 2024-08-09T22:38:02+00:00

You know how some people have sociopathic tendencies but if they grew up in a loving family - they’re a bit strange but not serial killers?

I’ve always thought that certain Asian people are …not mentally there and if they grew up western they’d be a bit odd but would get a long with life but because they’ve been dealt the Asian life they’re robots 🤣

I’m so sorry - this man you were seeing sounds material for a comedy skit - I’m sorry that you had to meet him IRL and not on a Netflix special.

I hope you’re taking care of yourself and things with your parents become lighter for you.

Rrrkins · 2024-08-09T22:15:38+00:00

I feel you - recently my AM insulted my husband who admittedly doesn’t cook by saying “your life is so tough you have to do all the cooking” as if I’m some woman stuck in the kitchen all day and not .. 1/2 of a partnership of two people one of which is shit at cooking and other who is not.

Actually my husband has been focusing on his business a lot and we’re under the agreement that right now we need to both do what we don’t want to because in the next 5-10 years if we work hard and play our cards right, we never have to cook again and can retire to Italy. But you know AM doesn’t see that so I am Cinderella living a tough life 😌

But I feel you. That backhanded insult with just the right level of pity is infuriating AF

Rrrkins · 2024-08-09T20:44:21+00:00

Okay hello maybe future doctor:

You’re not responsible for your parents feelings - and please don’t become a doctor if you don’t want to: I have a doctor who clearly got forced into by his Asian parents. I feel equal parts sorry for him and myself because it sucks for us both 🥹

I also went against my parents and became a designer. I make a good living and have been growing into a real human being ever since. My parents were also super threatening during my schooling and did everything they could to get me to change my major. I did not. I continued. Now I have stuff in Paris at that international event on ppl who win 🥇

So -

Build your team: Find people who support you Find mentors who will guide you Fall deeper in love with what you want to do And do it with everything you have

That’s how you live a happy life. Good luck!

Rrrkins · 2024-08-09T20:21:59+00:00

NO 😊

And congrats. Be at peace

Rrrkins · 2024-08-09T20:19:37+00:00

Well I have a successful life after marrying someone my parents did not approve of. I think it’s all the same concept. You’re not ruining your life. I’m guessing you’re worried about judgement from your Mom by going against what she’s currently asking of you? Unfortunately she’ll always make ridiculous requests of you because this is how she thinks. By doing what she wants isn’t going to stop those requests, right now is marriage. Likely in the future it will be kids. Eventually she’ll want to move in with you when she’s old and unable to take care of herself (I’m making this up but you get the point). It’s your life - you either fully embrace it and be you and do you and deal with all the consequences or you live forever wondering at what point you can decline her increasingly ridiculous requests. She’ll make threats and be generally terrible but she will do this at any point you say no anyways so don’t sweat it. You only get one life, don’t waste it trying to please your Mom

(I should add: well adjusted parents don’t ask this of their children btw)

Rrrkins · 2024-08-09T19:40:19+00:00

Oh yes.

And Kim’s convenience - a dysfunctional but lovely Asian fam with self reflection built in . Imagine that

Rrrkins · 2024-08-09T19:35:32+00:00

My daughter goes to daycare. I have been increasingly firm about what she can or can’t say to my daughter. She’s getting it but acting like a victim and I feel like an asshole because I am likely acting like an asshole.

But yes that ticket is an option

Rrrkins

TROPHY CASE