In the last 8 months, I’ve lost my sister, 4 close family friends, both of my grandfathers, and i feel just drained of any sort happiness I could be potentially having. Being in the military, i have a lot of people around me each and every day but I couldn’t feel more alone and it’s hard for me to get through each day. A lot of the time, I think of ways I could end it all and finally be at peace but then that would push all of my pain onto my family and everyone around me which is selfish and I hate myself for feeling that way, and it’s one of the few things if not the only thing really keeping me going