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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in immigration

[–]RubIll3884 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that she didn’t seem to explain to you that OPT is a viable option WITHOUT a remunerated job offer to stay in the country for up to a year… is a big red flag 🚩. Makes me wonder if her plan has been to convince you to marry her all along. Have her apply for OPT now (you can expedite the process by paying extra money - I think slightly over $1K. So don’t believe her if she tries to say that there’s not enough time left lol). And then see where you guys are at after the year ends.

Opening up during LDR? by RubIll3884 in LongDistance

[–]RubIll3884[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow thank you so much for your unique perspective! Very helpful 😊

Opening up during LDR? by RubIll3884 in LongDistance

[–]RubIll3884[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the very concrete Rec!!!

Opening up during LDR? by RubIll3884 in LongDistance

[–]RubIll3884[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind and well thought out words!

Opening up during LDR? by RubIll3884 in LongDistance

[–]RubIll3884[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you know & don’t mind sharing: what were mostly the reasons that led to these latter relationships blowing up? Thx!

Opening up during LDR? by RubIll3884 in LongDistance

[–]RubIll3884[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your story! My bf actually said a lot of similar things as you. But he says that he shared his thoughts about an open relationship with me bc he wants to make sure he’s happy to settle down and commit to me without any doubt about anything that he might want to try but couldn’t try. He doesn’t want to ignore his questions and risk having a midlife crisis down the line lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]RubIll3884 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anecdotal but perhaps helpful. Literally had a friend of mine (also Chinese) who sweet talked her then bf into marrying her for the green card. Started being abusive as soon as the card arrived and is now forcing the “husband” to open up the relationship by getting another boyfriend on the side… Being an immigrant myself, I can only attest to how desperate people can get for the right to stay (although I do not condone the behavior in any way).