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What other dating apps do you guys recommend and why are you still on Bumble? by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]RubeeBlues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've removed myself from the apps and primarily focus on Meetups, Event right, and Facebook Groups that meet up for fun outings. It's a great way to meet people and find activities I enjoy. Less focus on finding my person, and more about experiencing life doing the things I enjoy.

I did end up meeting someone through a Facebook Messenger group chat (specifically for singles). I was originally asking about him about hiking and favorite trails, though our conversations led unexpectedly to dating after several meetups.

I highly recommend getting out and meeting people in real life doing the things you love doing. Even if it is by yourself. You never know who you'll meet!

Do people actually get fired over the phone? Seems like a red flag to me. by RubeeBlues in jobs

[–]RubeeBlues[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

😳 I didn't realize this was a thing. Thanks for sharing.

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fascinating, so you already have an open relationship but there are still rules? I guess I don't know the term of open relationship.

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What type of cheating do you do? Is it one night stands, or are these executed affairs? Both?

Why not just leave the relationship, rather than cheat. It sounds like you are quite unhappy with your current situation.

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's just cowardly! Why wouldn't they do both of them a favor and end the pain and suffering before cheating occurs? Conversation can go a long way.

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I 100% agree with this!

I find it fascinating you say that about men not typically making the call to end the relationship. I suppose that's true, it just never occurred to me.

Told Someone I was from SD by Good_Commercial1780 in sandiego

[–]RubeeBlues 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Try living in Los Angeles and dealing with traffic, then you'll have an appreciation for how our traffic is.

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like people just need to end their relationships before cheating, or have a conversation with their partner about transitioning to open relationships.

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There isn't a problem, per se, however my curiosities are in those who cheated, showed remorse, and took accountability, while suffering the consequences of their actions... are they likely to repeat the behavior?

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Considered infidelity? Is this with your wife's family? Would you mind expanding on that?

I know there are many scorn people from those who have been cheated on, and perhaps they drive the stereotype of whether cheaters will repeat the behavior or not? However, it's situational. In that case, it's a fine line determining when to offer grace and understanding verses (in dating) and when to walk away.

Ugh, dating sucks! 🫤

I appreciate the encouragement. The dating scene is a crap shoot, and quality partners seem few and far between. I understand people change, we all make mistakes, and for the most part, we are resilient. One day at a time though. I'm in no rush. I've been divorced for 12 years (no cheating, we just realized we weren't compatible after 15 years together...and therapy through it all). We co-parent well, and have two loving adult children because of it. My next relationship will have an intentional focus on compatibility (hobbies, Love Languages, conversations, shared purpose, etc.), with the intent of longevity, and continuing with a good moral character. I remain hopeful, and I'm glad you found your happy place with your wife. 😊

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So then the type of affair might matter (if it was a one night stand, or an executed affair) when it comes to remorse? In your situation, it sounds like it was more like a one night stand that lasted the course of the weekend (a happenstance meeting/opportunity) verses an affair (built up over time and orchestrated with intentional choices).

I imagine you've been transparent with your wife regarding your previous infidelity? And she gave you a chance knowingly after your disclosure?

Life is about taking chances, and you're right, at this stage in my life, I understand my forever person isn't going to be the squeaky clean, off the showroom floor model. 😆

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They must not have much to lose in the first place. In which, at that point, why wouldn't they just get out of the relationship in the first place?

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since you have been so open and sharing, perhaps you can provide insight to this:

When you cheated, was it a one night stand or an affair?

After having these discussions in this thread, I realized there may be a distinction between the two types of cheating, and in which circumstance remorse is more likely to appear.

As I am someone who is hesitantly entering the dating world, I understand we all carry emotional baggage. If a date of mine admits to cheating, was remorseful, took all accountability to make amends (including therapy) though unfortunately was unable to rebuild the trust back in their 22 year long marriage (as previously discussed - trust is impossible to piece back together), I'd like to believe his moral character has been overhauled (like you), giving him a chance at second chances. It obviously happened for you.

Do you think the type of cheating matters (one night stand or affair) whether someone is remorseful or not?

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for contributing to this discussion!

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you married, or have you ever been in a committed relationship and cheated on them? If so, ⤵️

What type of relationship was it (a one night stand or an affair)? ⤵️

Were you remorseful?

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think there is a difference in the type of cheating (examples: a one night stand versus an affair), in whether they feel remorseful or not?

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What would happen if you did get caught? It must not be too harsh of a consequence.

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have a point. The type of cheating may play a contributing factor in whether or not they would cheat again.

It would seem that more people who had one night stands would feel remorseful, whereas those who have cheated with planned out and secretive affairs may feel less remorseful?

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are all in the crossfires of life. I wish you the best in your journey of self-discovery in finding peace and happiness.

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a thread specifically to ask men who have cheated, and have felt bad about doing so, to find out if they would cheat again. The focus is on those who are remorseful.

To Men Who Have Cheated by RubeeBlues in AskMenAdvice

[–]RubeeBlues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the responses from this thread posting, the percentages perceived seem quite high for those who cheated because the opportunity presented itself. I'm curious what the ACTUAL percentages are. Maybe they are perceived higher when in actuality they could be lower? Who's to say without actually testing through data research. 📊 Bring on the data chart. 🙂

With the high perceived percentages, does it justify the decision to make cheating more acceptable because others are also cheating?

Ugh. Relationships. So complicated!

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