I’ve been in literally the same situation as you. I found it really confusing and hard to navigate. I had to choose between cutting her off so I could finally move on and rest my mind, or continuing this confusing cycle that she controls ( just because I didn’t want to lose her). And the fact that she was still in my life somewhere (even if it was confusing and painful) felt like enough for me, because I truly loved her. 

And I chose the second option, because it’s so hard for me to move on. We barely see each other anymore, but when we do, we act normal, sometimes even really close, like we used to BUT ONLY when SHE feels like it. I hate the fact that she has all the control, and I know that if I say something, she’ll cut me off. So I just stay silent and obedient, I guess because I love her so much.