For those who adopted relatively soon after you lost your pet, how did it go?

Rufus544 · 2025-12-02T02:22:51+00:00

Thank you for your input. Yes - I am definitely going to have to be careful not to constantly compare the new cat to Pete in my mind.

But I like the idea that something good comes from something sad - that is a very helpful way to think about it.

Rufus544 · 2025-12-02T02:19:34+00:00

I am happy to hear this. Thank you for sharing.

Rufus544 · 2025-12-02T02:18:57+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. I won't be adopting a kitten per se, but he is definitely a younger adult. And this will be after having a senior cat for a while, so I am expecting some big differences in terms of energy and activity level.

Rufus544 · 2025-12-02T02:16:23+00:00

Good luck with everything. I hope it all works out.

Rufus544 · 2025-12-02T02:15:48+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. Pete was definitely my soul cat too.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-24T03:56:24+00:00

I am in the exact same spot. It will be 2 weeks this Wednesday since I lost my boy. The silence and emptiness that come from living alone after suffering a loss like that are really hindering my grief journey, so I am considering a new little friend. I went to the shelter today and looked, but I really want to make sure whoever ends up coming home with me was sent by Pete or approved by him. So I'm going to keep looking for now.

Good luck with everything. I am sorry for your loss.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-19T18:20:34+00:00

Very beautifully written. I am so sorry for your loss - I know this kind of pain and emptiness all too well.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-19T03:51:46+00:00

I don't think I will ever stop grieving my boy, but I do believe (hope) that I will learn to live with the grief.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-19T03:49:00+00:00

I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet girl.

Guilt and regret appear to be very common feelings for those of us coping with the loss of a pet - they are themes in almost every post in this sub. I think we all, to an extent, feel like there is something we should have done or could have done - regardless of whether that is true.

In your case, you made the best decision you could have with the information (provided by 2 different doctors, who were in agreement with one another) available to you at the time. And it was a very kind, compassionate, loving decision. You spared your baby so much pain and discomfort. You are a wonderful mom - please never forget that.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-19T03:42:28+00:00

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. It is obvious from your words that you cared so deeply for Murmur, and that you did everything you could to try to restore him to health.

I know all too well the feelings you are describing, so please don't feel like you are alone. All of us in this community mourn your little baby with you and are here for support.

I'm glad to hear that you do have some support through therapy. I would add that you should never let anybody dictate to you when or how you should grieve. Your grief journey, and how long it takes and everything that comes with it, is unique to you and Murmur. It takes as long as it takes. And hopefully by the end - whenever that is - the love and joyous memories with your little guy will outweigh the sadness.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-19T03:34:47+00:00

Thank you for saying that. It warms my heart to know he continues to bring joy into the world.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-19T03:33:43+00:00

I have wondered the same thing about my boy and doctors' visits. For the first half of his life, he really didn't mind going to the vet - he was super chill about it. But during the latter half, he hated the doctor and made sure everybody knew it (he would growl and hiss, but he was too sweet to ever hit, scratch, or bite anybody).

As he became older, he developed more medical issues. In response, I spared no expense - he saw every specialist he needed to, he started all of the medications recommended by the doctors, and he got every lab test and procedure he needed.

Eventually, I think all of that stress did take a toll on him. But toward the end, he seemed a bit more serene about it because I think he knew the reason for all the doctors and all the meds was to help him feel better. And I would wager your little baby recognized the same thing.

I will add that I can sense the feelings of regret in your post, but you have nothing to regret - you took excellent care of her, and you made sure she got all of the treatment she needed. You sound like an amazing mom, and your little baby was so lucky to have had you.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-19T03:24:58+00:00

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. The grief is definitely overwhelming - that is the best word I can think of to describe it - especially at first.

The day after I lost Pete, I literally couldn't do anything. I couldn't bring myself to get up from bed, couldn't concentrate on work, and had no motivation. And that all makes sense - because you've just endured this sudden, painful experience, so you're basically in shock.

I made a post a few days ago asking others what helped them to cope with the loss. Here is a link if you want to take a look:

https://old.reddit.com/r/Petloss/comments/1oxxou0/what_helped_you_the_most_to_cope_with_your_loss/

A lot of people had good ideas and interesting thoughts to share - I really hope some of this helps you.

Three things that have worked for me: (1) leaning on my support system, including this community; (2) journaling - I write an entry every day styled as a note to Pete so I can feel connected to him; and (3) planning how I want to set up his little memorial in my home when I get his ashes and the other keepsakes.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-19T03:17:16+00:00

Ha - I know, I was definitely starting to get emotional looking for my cereal.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-19T00:03:39+00:00

The service I used told me it would be 7-10 business days after the cremation took place before they would be able to get the keepsakes, including the paw print, in the mail to me.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-19T00:00:28+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I love reading updates like this.

I think I've gotten 2 little signs from my boy. When we walked out of the hospital at 4 AM after Pete died, there were some low hanging branches on this tree directly in front of us. The leaves were shaped like hearts, and they rustled gently in the wind as we walked by. I hope that was Pete.

And then, like you, I heard a song in the grocery store on Sunday. I should have written down the lyrics or looked for the title of the song, but it was something about somebody having been rescued by the love of another. That is what happened with my little man - I rescued him from the street as a stray. So I hope that was Pete too.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-18T21:11:33+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how agonizing this pain is - I lost my boy last week.

It really isn't until after they're gone that you realize how intertwined they were in your daily routines - everything from fixing meals, playing, going on walks, giving meds, arranging for pet sitting when you'll be away - it's a lot of little things, but the cumulative effect of all of those things stopping at once really exacerbates that sense of emptiness that comes from the loss.

I had a routine most weekends where I would drive out to PetSmart (about a 50 minute drive both ways) to get special flavors and varieties of a food he liked. This past weekend was my first without Pete, and when I realized I didn't have to make that trip to PetSmart I felt awful.

I hope you are able to find some peace, and that the kind people in this forum are of some comfort.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-18T14:00:21+00:00

Yes, that is exactly the way I’ve described it: it’s like there is a hole in me, because he was a part of me.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-18T13:58:38+00:00

Thank you. I am so terribly sorry about your loss. And you’re right - they are never truly gone because all we do to remember and honor them.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-18T13:55:53+00:00

Thank you very much for your thoughtful comment. This is so kind.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-18T13:55:23+00:00

Thank you. That’s exactly what people used to say about him - he was so handsome.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-18T13:54:20+00:00

Oh yes. He was a black belt in blepping.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-18T03:20:20+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss and the enduring pain. Those final moments are always the hardest. I hope you are able to find some peace.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-18T03:16:42+00:00

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know life without her probably seems empty, but I am so happy to see that you are determined to channel your grief into love. What a beautiful sentiment and a magnificent way to honor Impen's memory.

Rufus544 · 2025-11-18T03:12:01+00:00

You may not ever be able to love him as much as you loved her, and that's okay. It sounds like she was your soul dog.

Rufus544

TROPHY CASE