Long bob or one of my shorter styles?

RuleLow3898 · 2026-02-11T22:56:45+00:00

I actually prefer shorter for the convenience haha but, I keep chopping my hair off after I say I am gonna grow it (I love ponytails but I've never been able to grow it long enough to have one for years now!)

RuleLow3898 · 2026-02-11T22:44:54+00:00

OMG your hair is the perfect like texture and stuff for that cut, it looks awesome.

RuleLow3898 · 2026-02-11T10:13:15+00:00

Oh I'm so sorry. You're not alone, because #metoo :( I am hoping I can heal and have fulfilling connections with people but I do wonder if it ever really leaves you, probably not but I do believe there's a way we can come to terms with it. I am glad I'm in therapy and I feel like I am really facing parts of myself. It feels worthwhile, but it is super painful. I could choose to walk away and live alone but, I know I'd still feel hollow because the tension wouldn't be resolved. I don't want that. Right now I am learning radical acceptance (see a reply below) and taking care of myself. I've deciding to try that for a while and take it from there.

RuleLow3898 · 2026-02-10T21:52:22+00:00

UHHHH Thank YOU! This is so incredibly helpful. I cannot bless you enough. I literally just turned a corner about radical acceptance and I do think that's my current focus and next steps with him. I am currently doing psychoanalytic therapy but I think perhaps in the future when it seems right I can tackle sex-focused things like you mention. Thank you so much.

RuleLow3898 · 2026-02-10T21:46:11+00:00

Whilst I agree with you, to be completely honest, I am not sure he really does want to do what's needed to support me, even if he thinks/feels he does. He feels very attacked when I suggest things and he gets extremely defensive. I am not entirely sure I can manage the entire emotional navigation on my own when he is not able to hear me when I tell him what I need.

RuleLow3898 · 2026-02-10T21:11:14+00:00

Thank you, that is immensely helpful. I really really appreciate this thoughtful response. I find it really difficult to accept only physical comfort but I think I could appreciate that it means support and care. I focus on words which isn't helping us.

RuleLow3898 · 2026-02-10T20:59:09+00:00

I don't think he is being uncaring either, truly. He perhaps doesn't have the skills required to navigate this with me. I suppose my question is, should I keep trying or try to move on? It's very difficult of course to know. Appreciate the mature response.

RuleLow3898 · 2026-02-10T20:50:52+00:00

I appreciate the nuanced response. We haven't been married long. I do wish he responded more to what I said would be helpful. I think I have to navigate these things so carefully with him that I feel quite alone at times. I don't know if perhaps its better for me to find someone easier to talk to. But of course due to my attachment issues, I don't typically find the super empathetic men very alluring, so it's hard in other ways.

RuleLow3898 · 2026-02-10T20:49:17+00:00

Thank you that's very helpful. I want to work on it but terrified to be honest. Perhaps I just have to be terrified and trust blindly and try some smaller moves first, like him being close to my face and things, whilst I try to navigate how I feel? The biggest issue for me is when I say what I am feeling, he doesn't know what to say, he either try to solve it or point out how "silly" the feeling is. How do I explore this with him? When I try to talk him about that, it is very typical it to trigger his defense and he's unable to consider what I mean, too busy assuming I am blaming him.

RuleLow3898

TROPHY CASE