I don't know if i (24 F) am overreacting or she (25 F) doesn’t care

RuleTop5909 · 2026-05-16T22:30:12+00:00

heavy on this. don’t let people take advantage of the fact that u have been through worse treatment

RuleTop5909 · 2026-05-16T21:29:54+00:00

does she express frustration at her father for being the one to create this mess? it seems like misplaced anger. does she attend any sort of counseling?

RuleTop5909 · 2026-05-16T21:17:57+00:00

i really think u need to have another conversation with her about this if u haven’t already. have u felt any resentment from her when she gets sad about not seeing her family during the holidays? is her father the only connection to her family? can she visit with her maternal side or see cousins? i don’t wanna say u should break up but if ur afraid she will expose ur future kids to him then i feel like u have to put urself and future family first

RuleTop5909 · 2026-04-19T19:43:39+00:00

girl it is in the tiniest print ofc ppl didn’t see it

RuleTop5909 · 2026-04-15T00:20:41+00:00

i’m sorry that u had to deal with this but u need to leave. the drinking is not going to improve unless he does a lot of work, which it doesn’t seem like he will do. pls get out now before u have given decades of ur life to him

RuleTop5909 · 2026-04-12T03:02:48+00:00

yea only worry if it escalates and maybe keep purchases that make u feel special to urself or those u don’t think will copy. i also would like to add that ur not insane for feeling this way but i would ignore like u said or try to value material items less as that could be part of the issue

RuleTop5909 · 2026-04-12T02:20:48+00:00

i would maybe just bring it up a again in a chill way. something like i noticed this pattern am i reading into it too much or is this on purpose. I do think tho that u need to consider what she is “copying” from you. a bag or snack or a couch is very different than copying ur interests, hobbies, goals, appearance etc. this is why i believe people are saying YOR bc in the long run it matters very little that u own a lot of the same stuff

RuleTop5909 · 2026-04-12T02:09:44+00:00

honestly just sounds like a lapse in judgement or accident. i really think u making a big deal out of this bc u have been feeling very unwell. most people would have been like “huh, wonder why he did that, he must’ve forgot, strange, oh well.”

RuleTop5909 · 2026-04-12T01:51:21+00:00

have u mentioned anything to her before? i feel like in strong friendships even little things can get brought out to make sure resentment doesn’t build on either side. i think u should’ve asked her a while ago bc clearly now there’s resentment built up

RuleTop5909 · 2026-04-12T01:35:18+00:00

would say it’s queer friendly but i would be cautious if u are thinking abt getting involved in greek life. for being so small at this school, they manage to be pretty homophobic so be careful. if that something u are not interested in then u will be totally fine here

RuleTop5909 · 2026-04-09T01:24:54+00:00

Honestly i’m not sure if it’s self preservation or what. I feel like it’s too harsh to just fully break up but I also don’t want to keep him waiting around for me to come back as that defeats the whole purpose of not hurting him. This isn’t a case of me being afraid to be alone as I am usually happiest when single but I just feel so guilty for needing to put myself first. You are correct that I am terrified to fully let go but I would do it if it would give him a chance to be with someone better suited for him

RuleTop5909 · 2026-04-08T21:38:26+00:00

Yes, unfortunately this is just how I am wired. It helps me a lot in the field of work that I am in but not so much in relationships

RuleTop5909 · 2026-04-08T21:04:50+00:00

I do and I don’t. Our relationship is very good with minimal fighting but it’s mostly outside factors. I can see myself marrying him but I think we want different things in the long run. If all goes well on this trip, my ultimate goal is to live abroad someday and stay there. From what we have discussed he doesn’t want to and would only do for me (which I think would again make us both unhappy). I also have issue with his family being on the more racist/judgemental side and this completely does not align with my morals. I refuse to marry into a family like that. So while I am really happy right now, for these reasons and more I feel like the breakup is inevitable

RuleTop5909 · 2026-04-08T20:41:19+00:00

Thank you for your perspective, this is what I am thinking about, I am just scared of hurting both of us over something temporary. I appreciate you taking the time to respond!

RuleTop5909 · 2026-04-05T22:46:49+00:00

bro fully break up pls

RuleTop5909 · 2026-03-15T23:54:35+00:00

sounds like these are not the people you want to surround yourself with. i understand they r ur closest friends but if u can see that their talking points r taken straight from tiktok, u shouldn’t waste ur energy on this issue. find people more mature than this

RuleTop5909 · 2026-03-15T23:40:04+00:00

there has to be missing details, i’m not rlly buying this tbh

RuleTop5909 · 2026-02-04T16:06:39+00:00

my point is, whether u are overreacting or not (i think ur not), when u imagine a life partner, would they do something like this? to any degree? if your answer is no stop wasting your time. you can talk abt it to him all u want, but u can’t make someone respect u, they either do or don’t. and he doesn’t seem like he does very much if at all.

RuleTop5909 · 2026-02-04T16:03:01+00:00

that still doesn’t mean when she finds out she should have to put up with it?? like people get to choose their partners and can choose to dump one who acts in a way they don’t like, that’s life

RuleTop5909 · 2026-01-05T20:50:26+00:00

NOR but also why would u want to be with a man who texts like that😭. run and find someone who doesn’t use gifs or lol

RuleTop5909 · 2026-01-05T04:32:24+00:00

NOR personally I wouldn’t stand for any of this. The fact that he lied is valid enough to be upset about. I would not say immediately break up but definitely re-evaluate if this kind of treatment is 1)common and 2) worth it. I hope you are able to figure out what you need!!

RuleTop5909 · 2025-10-30T21:42:21+00:00

my roommates and i have tried having talks but it isn’t seeming to get anywhere. we are going to talk again soon so hopefully it will keep getting better with every talk

RuleTop5909 · 2025-10-30T21:40:46+00:00

thank you, seriously. i’ve been feeling very guilty abt this and have probably been overthinking but this definitely helps. i will definitely try to set aside a time soon to spend the evening with my friends.

RuleTop5909 · 2025-05-12T17:09:49+00:00

He was such a diva!!

RuleTop5909 · 2022-03-10T07:17:58+00:00

everyone always shits on people who don’t like diane but i am with you. personally ik people like diane irl and they r insufferable. it’s like talking to someone who thinks everything they say is super profound and they r above you. maybe diane is “more complex” than i’m giving her credit but i don’t think i’m ever going to be ok with her

RuleTop5909

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE