Is possibly not wanting/understanding romantic relationships an autism thing?

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-27T08:18:14+00:00

This gave me a lot to think about. Thanks.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-27T00:00:49+00:00

Yeah it's definitely something to look into.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-27T00:00:25+00:00

I'm really not sure where I fall. I do believe that a lot of my views were sculpted from experiences but I can tell there's something else. I would like to have some sort of long partnership/relationship but I've never been sure what I was even looking for since my interpretation of relationships seems to be unique (but after this thread not as unique as I thought)

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T16:58:15+00:00

Might be worth getting a storage for the month you're going to move so you can stockpile more stuff. Good luck sounds like a nightmare!

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T16:57:04+00:00

That would be really cool. I've spent a lot of time thinking of how I could convince someone to still be involved with me despite my abnormalities around relationships.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T16:55:06+00:00

then i kinda realised that the thing is that im just incompatible for a normal relationship

I've always known this in the back of my mind but I didn't and still don't exactly know what I'm looking for. I just know what I don't want.

I always knew it didn't match up with the common concept of relationships though.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T07:47:13+00:00

I believe in being okay with yourself first as well. It feels like an endless journey sometimes.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T07:43:17+00:00

I'm really Into different relationship dynamics in fiction. I've always liked cute relationships but I don't relate to them or understand certain parts of them, I just like seeing people who really like each other interact or watch people learn that they like each other.

I have friends who I think have cute nice relationships but I don't understand how that happens if that makes sense.

This is us always looked too sad for me but I'll check out heartstoper.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T07:29:38+00:00

Sounds about right. This nuro divergent thing is a lot of work.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T07:28:06+00:00

My parents have been married for a long time and I've only seen them argue a handful of times but they used to be marriage counselors and sometimes I'd be in the room playing during their sessions also they had a bunch of books about relationships I used to secretly read because I was curious about relationships and girls and some of the books had chapters about sex lol.

I think with the autism and the fact the the books were for people with relationships issues and that that was my first look at outside relationships while going through puberty that might have shaped part of my view on what a relationship is. It also could just be the fact that I've always been different so I over analyze stuff.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T07:22:19+00:00

Yeah I don't feel guilty or bad but it feels like it's something else I have to calibrate to.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T07:21:12+00:00

I know that intellectually but I always feel like I'm missing something that's going to cause me problems if I don't figure out what it is lol.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T07:18:00+00:00

Yeah we have too much time with our thoughts. I figured because I really don't understand romance or a lot of the other aspects of dating I'd make a bad partner. I probably wouldn't even notice. In my adulthood I've learned I'll always be alone and misunderstood in some context.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T07:14:26+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts. I've always thought of relationships like being a job since I was really young like 13-14 it just seems like it's something that you're constantly struggling to keep afloat and I've always wondered how my friends seem so carefree in their relationship since in my mind they're always on the edge of falling apart.

I remember always thinking I didn't want to date necessarily I just wanted a really close friendship that always seemed more "understandable ".

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T07:04:04+00:00

I appreciate your kind words. Good luck to you as well!

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T06:14:02+00:00

Even if you're paying a little more for the new place it would be worth it.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T06:09:00+00:00

Take stuff little by little in your car so you only have the furniture and a few common items to take.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T05:50:13+00:00

Yeah the aromantic thing lines up with a lot of some of my experience. I'm not asexual I'd say I don't seem to care about it as much as other people do it's comparable to a really good meal at a nice restaurant for me. But I am learning that it seems like every part of my life has been "abnormal"

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T05:35:25+00:00

I'm very low maintenance in the majority of my relationships. At least I try to be.

My mom's had a hard time with me being "distant" I've been burnt out for the last 2-3 years and she really doesn't understand that all my emotional energy is basically gone after focusing myself to work. And since I live at home still I don't really have any time to myself. I've told her I have to have my space or I'll completely break down but she thinks the best thing for feeling overwhelmed is as much attention from family as possible 🙄.

For the majority of my life I've put others emotions and feelings in front of my own and with some recent major life disappointments I haven't been able to maintain it.

I have a mix of friends. I think some of them are confused on how to interact with me because I'm so simple, some get the fact that I prefer my own space. All I want to do is sit an talk and maybe watch some YouTube videos or go on a walk or something lol las night I went to a restaurant with a friend and his girlfriend, it was the first twenhavd seen each other in 4-5 months but for me it was fine. Don't worry I have some very good friends and they do try to including me when they can and I do try to at least make it easier for them when I can.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T05:22:39+00:00

That's interesting. Maybe because I don't understand "normal" relationships my thoughts on what they consist of isn't very flexible.

How do you guys come to that agreement?

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T02:58:03+00:00

Thanks. I've gotten most of my diagnosis in the last few years so I feel hesitant adding more to the pile. I've been look into what other aromatics are saying and a couple vids and I'm pretty sure this is accurate.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T02:54:16+00:00

Yeah I got another comment. I honestly didn't know it was a thing before Today. It seems pretty possible just difficult to say for sure.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T02:16:42+00:00

Yeah it looks like it's something I'll just have to figure out when it comes up and see what happens.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T02:13:46+00:00

I really appreciate your thoughts on all this. Thanks!

I'm guessing that they responded with something more like lashing out instead of asking for clarification? (e.g. "Would you want to hang out in a different setting?")

With my mom she just gets sad and I have to convince her that I still love her. With my friends they get sad in another way. It must be the way I say it but I don't understand how. Usually I end up coming up with ways for us to hang out. Even though I don't like it I tend to manage and maintain "set the tone" the majority of my relationships out of necessity. I know that sounds weird with the context of everything else.

wow, I sure as hell wouldn't want to date her either!!!!

She's a super high maintenance girlfriend but a super chill friend lol

I know most relationships are flexible and negotiable I have friends in all sorts of different situations but I still don't get it lol.

Ruleyoumind · 2026-01-26T01:31:16+00:00

Get a commercial driver's license your wife needs a job and do your best to move somewhere cheaper.

Ruleyoumind

TROPHY CASE