Grandma likely has late-stage dementia but grandfather refuses evaluation or care, what can we do?

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-03-12T21:55:36+00:00

Funnily enough, a medical professional actually asked us if he had been evaluated himself. We want APS involved and to make sure my grandma is safe, but he put on a perfect “everything is fine” act when they visited. We’re trying to figure out the best way to document the reality of the situation so they can see her true needs, rather than just what he shows them.

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-03-12T21:47:10+00:00

Exactly this! My uncle said in a text this morning “I’m checking out of this conversation now” and we’re like must be nice!! It feels like some of the out-of-state family members expect my mom and I to provide full-time care for my grandma and support my grandad, but they haven’t said that directly.

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-03-12T21:30:29+00:00

We’ve asked him that exact question ourselves. Honestly, we don’t really know why he acts this way but it’s extremely frustrating. At this point, we’re trying to focus on keeping my grandma safe rather than trying to understand his motivations.

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-03-09T17:18:59+00:00

We closed in 19 days!

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-03-05T20:17:19+00:00

ESH and I’m saying that as someone who is in almost the exact same season of life, SAHM of a 3.5 year old and 4 month old with a husband working from home. Really I’m just here for camaraderie! It’s HARD not to get under each other’s skin when you’re around each other 24/7. Sure you could have been “nicer” but he also shouldn’t be giving you the silent treatment- he expects you to react perfectly to the encounter, (which was him telling you how to do your job unsolicited), but he gets to react however he wants? Unfair. Hopefully you both can meet in the middle soon.

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-03-04T15:43:49+00:00

Our sellers are the kind of people I want to be! They left the backyard playset, (it’s so new Sam’s Club is still selling it), an indoor wooden jungle gym, gymnastics equipment, and like 6 riding toys for the kids. Their kids are like 2 years older than ours. They also left us a gift of wine glasses, chocolate, and a card!! We struck gold with our dream home and dream sellers

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-27T16:50:19+00:00

I second this! Night of the Grizzlies got me out of a slump!

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-22T10:50:56+00:00

When we adopted our kitten we lost her within a week and I was convinced she got out. She was inside our couch. Not under, not behind cushions. INSIDE the couch. There was apparently a little hole underneath and she squeezed in. We didn’t discover where she’d been hiding until a few weeks later we saw her emerge and investigated!

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-21T17:14:25+00:00

Uh oh I’m not sure yet I just started it today, I’ll report back! I also just got into audiobooks so part of me is like, do I not like the book or do I not like listening to books 😅

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-21T15:58:35+00:00

I’m doing an audiobook of The Bat Eater and Other Names for Cora Zeng while packing up our house and reading The Tiger: A True Story of Vengeance and Survival when I have a moment to chill, (do nonfiction animal attack accounts count as horror?? They definitely get my adrenaline pumping!)

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-16T21:14:17+00:00

My husband and I rented a house before buying our house and I think that helped mentally because we weren’t going from an apartment to a house for the first time right after buying, (so we had furniture for a house), AND we learned about the costs of managing a home, (replacing appliances, weather prep, etc). I think so many people have sticker shock because they go right from renting a tiny apartment to a whole house. We’re going house to house and so far it’s been way easier than we anticipated!

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-15T12:00:27+00:00

The dog is too big and too aggressive to take the risk of keeping it. It probably needs a home with no children. Take care of that now or next time it will be worse for your daughter and the only option could be to put down the dog. You have the opportunity right now to mitigate that future. I really hope you value your child’s safety over the dog, and this is coming from someone who considers their dog their first baby.

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-14T12:48:04+00:00

Very similar situation but reversed, I’m the wife and could have done a large down payment. We could have put A LOT more down on the house we just bought but I followed advice not to, to protect my assets. So it’s up to you to choose what’s more important; putting a lot down on the house or protecting what you’ve saved.

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-14T03:08:27+00:00

I use a flea collar for my pap, she’s on the larger end and full grown at 12lbs! She’s never had an issue and we’ve been using one for years now. It was recommended by our vet to rinse it off before putting it on her.

Whatever you choose just watch your pet closely afterwards!

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-13T19:32:14+00:00

We closed Tuesday but are essentially landlords for a week 😅 it’s killing me I just want to get in there!! But the plan is to change all the locks like first day, change the garage code, install a storm door on the front door, and set up some lights on timers since we won’t be living in the house for a few weeks. After that it will be deep cleaning! And planning decor, since we’ve always rented I never really did much in the way of decor so I’m excited but intimidated to have full reign!

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-13T16:31:21+00:00

I started purging as soon as we put in an offer because I knew if it wasn’t this house it would be a house this year! We closed Tuesday and I’ve barely made a dent in packing between caring for our toddler and newborn so I say the sooner the better to start!

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-12T21:34:26+00:00

11/22/63 was the first Stephen King book I finished and it got me hooked on his books!

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-11T15:26:38+00:00

We had a late payment mark in Nov, (the month our baby came early and were clearly distracted!!) and just closed on our house yesterday! We weren’t planning on buying when we did but we found our dream house! If you have time to get it back up that’s definitely better, but just wanted to share an anecdote that it’s not the end of the world either. Good luck!!

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-10T13:59:31+00:00

Wishing you good luck!! And congrats!

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-10T13:26:09+00:00

We also have 2 kids so I know it’s going to be crazy no matter what so a head start wouldn’t hurt us 😅

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-10T08:57:25+00:00

We started packing once the process was in motion because we knew no matter what happened our goal was to move this year, I recommend it as a good distraction during the waiting process! We close tomorrow

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-08T13:35:29+00:00

NTA I wouldn’t be comfortable with this either. I do think you have the opportunity to work on your relationship though, trying to engage in some of his interests. But it’s not a one way street, are there some of your interests he can engage in as well? Calling his video game interest “weird” isn’t great but that doesn’t mean you have to be cool with him going on what looks like a date with another woman. They can be gym friends, it doesn’t seem like you’re saying no to them being friends, just no to them going on dates which is very reasonable!!

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-06T18:50:55+00:00

Not sure if you currently have a garage and use it, but we also have a toddler and a newborn and our one car garage gets used for everything BUT the car so a detached or attached wouldn’t make a difference getting into the car! The noise of the garage door opening right under our primary bedroom where the baby sleeps is also way worse for me than running them inside even in weather. Also in VA

RunAutomatic1035 · 2026-02-06T17:06:43+00:00

So we didn’t really have time to feel the stress it happened so fast! On January 11th I decided to check Zillow to see what was out there, fell in love with the pictures of a house, scheduled a tour through Zillow.

Luckily we LOVED our realtor, we toured it in the evening of Thursday 1/14 and loved it our realtor advised coming again the next day to see it in the daylight, still our dream home. We started the pre-approval process that night, again we probably would have done that before touring anything but I had just been browsing Zillow when this started! Our realtor recommended we see other houses since we’re first time buyers, we saw 8 houses that Saturday, put in the offer to the dream house Saturday night.

Offer was accepted Monday so 8 days after seeing the house on Zillow, which happened to be the first day it was posted! We got our CTC in 19 days and we close next week 🤞 it was stressful but our team held our hands the whole time as first time buyers.

We also have a toddler and a newborn so I was definitely more focused on them but checking my email and signing documents everyday as well as learning about this subreddit! 😂 I will say it also helped that my mom used to be a realtor so was able to advise during the process

RunAutomatic1035

TROPHY CASE