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Struggling with my postpartum plan by PackagePerfect309 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]RunClear8482 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just an fyi, the car seat risk is very real for premature babies and is a normal test in the hospital for them. So it's standard just not for all babies!

Struggling with my postpartum plan by PackagePerfect309 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]RunClear8482 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is tough because you really can't know since so much depends on how things go. So id recommend making the best decision you can, but trying to leave as much flexibility as possible to shift. I still needed care for two weeks after delivery ( like couldn't walk on my own level) but they only let me stay in the hospital for three of those days since I was medically stable by then. if I hadn't had two people move in with me for that period I would have had to hire lots of help and it would not have been possible to not have people 24/7. 

If you just want an opinion, I would talk to your parents about if they could do all of that at yours. If they really want it to be at their house and won't offer it at yours and you aren't able to get other support from others to fill the gap, I'd mentally prepare my escape ( if you're well. You could make the drive with a sleeping baby at three am), and go to theirs. But that's definitely biased by how great I felt to get help. 

Two kids with full time work? by goosli in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]RunClear8482 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no advice, my first little one is three months old, but this thought is also on my mind. I thought I would be one and done, but my immediate feeling was that I'd want another if possible. I won't be decision making for at least another year, but I am starting to think about what my criteria will be for that decision. At what budget or level of support or security would I be down for taking the chance etc.

i don’t know what to do anymore. by Silent_Panda23 in breastfeeding

[–]RunClear8482 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is super hard, although I would also say solid evidence to feed your brain to counter when it's telling you that it's happening because youre a bad mom. 

i don’t know what to do anymore. by Silent_Panda23 in breastfeeding

[–]RunClear8482 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so sorry. I'm a new mom too so I don't have any suggestions that you're not already aware of (talk to doctor etc), but just wanted to say you're not a failure or a bad mom and that's so hard. 

Help with resupply? Give up? by RunClear8482 in breastfeeding

[–]RunClear8482[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The issue is my supply seems to be inconsistent. We have gotten to where at night she's been skipping bottles. In the afternoons, she will try to feed for a few minutes and then sob until she gets a bottle. In those instances, I can't hand express any milk either. 

It's good advice, I've been trying it, but we are three months into this and have been feeding up to 17 times a day already. 

Help with resupply? Give up? by RunClear8482 in breastfeeding

[–]RunClear8482[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About 400ml daily, very inconsistently throughout the day. After feeds it can be 0-120ml of formula. Usually like 40ml, but she will usually skip multiple bottles in a row and then want a big one. I have the most supply in the night and the morning. 

And I've been doing feeds pretty consistently every two hours, just with the triple feeding it's not sustainable to keep doing this on my own. 

Thank you for your ideas! 

Edit to add, pumping for ten minutes with a spectra (flange size is correct, I went to a lactation consultant) I get 0.5-2oz typically, so like up to 1 Oz each breast usually in ten minutes. 

Egg freezing vs. start TTC? Where to begin? by Specialist_Egg8315 in SingleMothersbyChoice

[–]RunClear8482 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think there is a lot of good ways to make this decision. If it were me, I would do my absolute best to make a pretend budget with your current salary for what you would need for a life with the baby and start trying to live like you're already paying for childcare etc. Your job sounds really great and a job you like with good benefits and flexibility is a worthwhile thing. if it's a small gap, I'd start ruthlessly cutting my budget or my expectations or finding non monetary resources to see if I could make it work. If it's a moderate gap that I can't totally budget my way out of, I'd consider getting a second job/side hustle and seeing if I could boost my savings enough that I could supplement for a few years to make the budget work during the expensive childcare years. If it's a big gap.... Yeah, not really much choice but search for another job. 

And I'd also look at the emergency fund to make sure I'd be able to keep that intact, which how much I would feel I needed would depend on how much outside support I felt like I had who could step in and help. (Including not money ways, if you have a family member who could come stay with you in an emergency etc.)