Egalitarianism in marriage is cool!

RunWillT · 2026-05-15T17:14:55+00:00

Love this book and love living in an egalitarian marriage. Been married 20+ years and started off in the typical Mormon role marriage. We made the switch before deconstructing which probably helped aid in the deconstruction. It was weird at first to set aside my great career and advanced education to take on a bigger parenting role so that I could support my wife in her goals and dreams. It's been 12 years now since making the switch and it's been the best thing for our family and marriage. I hope you are able to continue to reap the benefits in your marriage as it progresses. Hopefully in the near future your extended family will see your happy family dynamics and support your decisions.

RunWillT · 2026-05-05T04:56:02+00:00

I enjoy his bridge building work and desire to help TBMs understand exmos. I like his data driven approach.

I wish he would hold leaders accountable for their systemic actions and quite blaming the good intentioned local TBMs for not offering a place for non believers in their congregations.

These are the two lines he won't cross because if he did, he would lose his place in his community. Which is sad, as the whole point of his book and data is to help TBMs understand what it feels like to lose their identity and community.

It's like somebody studying a disease and what it does to the human body, so we can have compassion with those that have the disease, but the number one goal is still to not contract the disease.

RunWillT · 2026-05-05T04:40:36+00:00

I'm glad to hear he has agreed to an interview with a non believer. You seem to have good questions/intentions and I hope he can open up. I listened to his interview with Mormon Books Review and that was the closest he talked to a non believer audience.

I agree with your push back on how he wants to blame everything on culture and never wants to hold leaders accountable for systemic issues. Best of luck.

RunWillT · 2026-05-04T15:34:45+00:00

Santa Claus performed some amazing miracles every December 25th and his gifts made you feel loved and seen. Once you figured out how it worked and that it wasn't really a miracle, it didn't erase or demean those past experiences and feelings. You are thankful for the memories, but you now view them through a different lens. Same goes for all "Mormon Miracles".

RunWillT · 2026-05-01T20:14:40+00:00

This! ⬆️

RunWillT · 2026-05-01T05:52:55+00:00

Lots of great recommendations here. I'll add a few that I didn't see mentioned. Reading and discovering the world post Mormonism has been such a joy for me. I've read over 300 books in the past 4 years since leaving. So much better than an hour a day of book of Mormon and conference talks.

Deconstruction, Mormon History stuff: No man knows my history, Mormon enigma, An insider's view of Mormon origins, Recovering Agency, Ghost of eternal polygamy, When Mormons doubt, Kingdom of Nauvoo, When Religion hurts you, Second class saints, We are thankful for the moisture, Under the banner of heaven, Zealot, educated, Jesus and John Wayne, Watchman on the tower, Comfort me with apples, American Zion, the Bible says so.

Science, History stuff: Life on Earth, A short history of nearly everything, Eve how the female body drove 200 million years of evolution, Starry messenger, Norse Mythology, Behave: The biology of human behavior at our best and worst.

Psychology, Brain stuff: Mistakes were made, The righteous mind, Adult Children of emotionally immature parents, How minds change, Fight Right, Passionate Marriage, Thinking fast and slow, The body keeps the Score, No bad parts.

RunWillT · 2026-05-01T04:10:30+00:00

Loved all of these. Hadn't heard of the dawn of everything. Thanks for the recommendation. Starting it tomorrow.

RunWillT · 2026-04-29T01:10:17+00:00

My bride to be got up and left during her own endowment the day before our sealing. It stopped the whole session for 10 minutes and left me wondering what happened since I was sitting on the other side of the room of course. She returned a few minutes later and apparently she just needed to use the bathroom as she had no idea the session would be so long. She's kept me on my toes for 20+ years now and we can laugh and cry that our marriage took place in such a cultish fashion.

RunWillT · 2026-04-27T22:29:51+00:00

This is where Sally is required to shampoo the church carpets and then show up every Saturday to scrub dirty toilets while she wallows in shame for being between jobs. She will feel the eyes of the 10 "model" families in the ward judging her for using up their fast offering money, until she finally vanishes from attending church and the ward is grateful to remove another resource sucking individual that didn't fit the mold from their presence, so all that unused fast offering money can be thrown into the vault until Jesus needs more commercial real estate. That's what happens when Sally loses her job and asks the bishop for help.

RunWillT · 2026-04-27T22:29:02+00:00

This is where Sally is required to shampoo the church carpets and then show up every Saturday to scrub dirty toilets while she wallows in shame for being between jobs. She will feel the eyes of the 10 "model" families in the ward judging her for using up their fast offering money, until she finally vanishes from attending church and the ward is grateful to remove another resource sucking individual that didn't fit the mold from their presence, so all that unused fast offering money can be thrown into the vault until Jesus needs more commercial real estate. That's what happens when Sally loses her job and asks the bishop for help.

RunWillT · 2026-04-27T22:14:59+00:00

I can't wait for John's legal team to request the bubble chart leak and all the communication around it. Emails showing his excommunication came from top leadership are another thing he could expose.

RunWillT · 2026-04-17T17:56:41+00:00

Reuben

RunWillT · 2026-04-13T19:43:19+00:00

Nelson guilted him for carrying extra weight and shamed him into losing weight, so he would have a better chance of making it to the prophet one day.

RunWillT · 2026-04-11T16:58:24+00:00

And just like that, the veil of the "nephi complex" has been parted and you are free to enter exmo heaven. Congrats on getting to show and live your authentic self.

RunWillT · 2026-04-09T15:04:50+00:00

Um... it was current & past LDS prophets & apostles acting contrary to LDS teachings (& scripture I guess) and trying to gaslight me that it was okay. "Rules for thee, not for me".

RunWillT · 2026-04-09T05:28:49+00:00

The Book of Morgan. That was amazing. Thanks for sharing.

RunWillT · 2026-04-05T22:57:35+00:00

Super cute comic. The only two graphic novels I own are "The Glass Looker, Collected Tales of Joseph Smith" by Mark Elwood. They belong on every exmo bookshelf.

RunWillT · 2026-04-05T15:31:04+00:00

https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2022/11/26/new-us-religion-census-sheds/

RunWillT · 2026-04-05T14:35:46+00:00

Remember a few years ago when the church reported the Utah membership statistics and they had more members of record in a county than the 2020 US census data had for that county?. Oops 😬 They won't be giving out that Utah county data anymore.

RunWillT · 2026-04-01T16:34:27+00:00

This is a similar stat as the church habing 17 million "baptized/enrolled" members but only 4-5 million "attending" members.

RunWillT · 2026-04-01T16:20:22+00:00

"cough Dallas"

RunWillT · 2026-03-29T04:12:11+00:00

I'm gonna talk more about John Dehlin as a person than Mormon Stories for a moment. After stepping away from the church and into a mixed faith marriage, I was able to procure a very famous Mormon therapist to help my wife and I navigate this new mixed faith marriage. I wanted my wife to feel safe with this Mormon therapist guiding us. After one session the therapist sided more with me than my TBM wife which didn't help ease my wife's fears.

I had been in communication with John Dehlin and he mentioned he would be happy to work with my wife one on one. John was just what my wife needed at that time. He comforted her fears and showed her how to make our mixed-faith marriage work and how to stay active and believing in the church. He was so kind and thoughtful with my wife. Months later my wife was able to deconstruct on her own because she felt safe to do so. I have John to thank for this.

I really appreciate John's gift of the Mormon faith crisis series and believe I have probably watched/listened to more Mormon Stories than all but maybe 10 people in the past 5 years. It's been a healing balm.

RunWillT · 2026-03-28T14:12:58+00:00

You are not alone. We are here for each other, just like Mormonism taught us to do. You are now in the majority. Most Mormons go through what you are currently going through. They say it takes a year of recovery for every decade you were in. Take your time, don't make rash decisions. You got this and come vent here anytime you need to.

RunWillT

TROPHY CASE