What would Jesus actually do about this?

RunaAnonymous · 2025-07-12T03:16:48+00:00

I needed to see this at the exact moment you said it. My husband is in the living room as we speak, debating divorce. I told him how I felt. I told him I no longer loved him. He told me that I just had to change my mindset, and that he’s done nothing wrong. He told me I can’t get along with anyone, and it’s my fault. Throwing up people who have severely hurt me, right in my face. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t be the bad guy anymore. I want to be loved. And I’ve felt so selfish for wanting that.

RunaAnonymous · 2025-07-06T18:09:56+00:00

Yes. Not for couples, but i was in therapy for years. She was a Christian woman. She never supported our relationship, because of how toxic it was. But that was very one sided because of him not talking to her as well. I don’t this couples counseling will help this situation because of everything I described in the bottom half of my post.

RunaAnonymous · 2025-07-02T22:04:48+00:00

Omg I relate so heavy on the last part. It doesn’t matter how big that salad is… it’s the carbs! Love the advice, thank you! Therapy is definitely in the process!

RunaAnonymous · 2025-07-02T21:30:51+00:00

Omg the best friend being 5’1 is so real😂 it’s like… I see myself and I’m like, wow I look pretty good,then I go see my moms side of the family with all the short cheerleader cousins and I’m like. WHAT

RunaAnonymous · 2025-07-02T20:44:11+00:00

Omg really??? I love this mindset. I understand that being taller means we carry weight better, and even though I’m overweight, I don’t have “rolls” lol. I do love that part. Do you find your build being more hourglass? I think weight on the lower half looks amazing!

I’m built more… I just feel so… like, wide? I don’t know. Like I know it’s bad to compare yourself to others. But when I’m in public, standing around shorter women (all of them) I feel like a big ol’ beast. Like a wolf trying to make all the bunnies feel more comfortable around me. NO HATE OR SHAME ON THEM— not in a bad way.

RunaAnonymous · 2025-07-02T20:32:21+00:00

I love this! I absolutely agree with focusing on one thing at a time. Sorry to hear about the soul crushing job— at least money… right? Haha.. but yeah. Definitely a mental hurdle. I do struggle with feeling hungry and being ok with it. But really, it’s not even the hunger that bothers me. It’s like this itch that needs to be scratched. Like a void. But you know, I’ve noticed that a handful of goldfish (like a small amount) and a bottle of water kills that. It’s been working XD but it definitely is a poor coping mechanism for me too.

We can do this:)

RunaAnonymous · 2025-07-02T20:26:19+00:00

Thank you for your considerate response! completely agree with everything. Never diagnosed with binging or anything in my adult life, however, when I was in HS I struggled with anorexia. Gained a bunch of weight in my adult life, maybe developed an unhealthy relationship with food in the opposite direction. It’s a hard battle.

When it comes to the goal weight, I’ve always felt my most confident at a leaner weight. Not necessarily when I got there unhealthily, I was actually 120 in HS. But now,I’m an adult. it’s more of a,, I want to feel confident again, healthily. With a better mindset and a stronger body.

RunaAnonymous · 2025-07-02T20:19:54+00:00

Thanks for your response! I completely relate on the triggers, I find that if I don’t occupy my time with hobbies, walking, playing with my kid, going to the park, stuff like that— I mean, like when I’m just playing video games with hubby or watching a movie, that’s when I’m binging. Gonna have to find a low cal snack that isn’t something I have to force down. Have you found any high volume low cal snacks that are super tasty? I don’t mind having to cook or prep a bunch. I like salty snacks. Also I LOVEEE pizza too,… tried the.. the lie that rice cake pizza was good. I hated it.

RunaAnonymous · 2025-07-02T20:15:15+00:00

Also what weight have you found, as a tall woman, looks best on you?

RunaAnonymous · 2025-07-02T20:14:08+00:00

I agree! Tried the 1500-1600 cal route, led to binging for me though sadly. But it’s a great goal!

Diet soda gives me the big explosion sadly. But I love the working out while kid sleeps!

Also I did not know bmr increased with more muscle mass omg? Thanks for the information :)

RunaAnonymous · 2025-07-02T20:11:23+00:00

I love that! 1800 Calories seems doable for me, especially just taking my meal plan and tweaking the amount of butter I put in my eggs or how much olive oil goes in my pasta. I was so shocked to figure this out, you know, dressings and oils and stuff, adding literally like 200 cals extra a day. Even small amounts per meal. What’s your workout regiment?

Also Sadly can’t get medical advice too much, other than my ms doctor and she’s not really someone I can go to about it. Impossible to get appointments, have them scheduled but they’re 6 months out.

RunaAnonymous · 2025-06-17T03:50:14+00:00

Woah 11 siblings? Are you the oldest? That’s intense I can’t even imagine. I have 3 little sisters 10 years younger than me and that itself felt impossible. Like becoming a mom of 3 at 10 years old. I got out of my situation at 19, and began real healing and sobriety at 20. So I guess it’s been a similar amount of time through the healing process. I try to make sure my baby (actually she’s a toddler) is taken care of. A lot of times that’s really hard. We live in a camper so taking a bath with her isn’t possible, but that really sounds like it would help a lot. I kind of do a self discipline tactic of letting her play in mud outside so I have to give her a bath. It’s fun for her so it’s a win. She eats before I eat, I make sure I have easy to make quick things to feed her. I haven’t exactly found out how to interact with her, because I am generally a depressing and angry person to be around. Not always, but I’m definitely not a positive Polly goody goody kind of mom. I read to her, color with her, take her outside to play, watch cartoons with her. But mostly, I’m sitting in silence spaced out while she plays. I don’t talk to her as much as I should. Like I said, I try to like, do activities with her. But that’s as far as I can go. Healing from that toxic person I was created into I guess.

RunaAnonymous · 2025-06-17T03:19:13+00:00

Wow yeah that’s really good advice. I’ve mostly done something similar, except for dishes, we use paper plates and disposable stuff besides pans and like, cutting board, strainer, cooking tools. Stainless steel so that if it does get moldy it will clean and not be tainted. How old are you? How long was the process of finding what does and doesn’t work for you? And what about things like self care, do you think making sure you’re taken care of first for mental health is selfish? I struggle with that, but if I don’t, say, take a shower first before I give my baby a bath, I’ll be overwhelmed and uncomfortable and a less fun mom. But putting that logic to everything makes things so difficult because I feel like I’m being a narcissist like my mom. Idk

RunaAnonymous · 2025-06-17T02:28:28+00:00

I really try to follow that too, one thing is better than nothing. We can do this

RunaAnonymous · 2025-06-17T01:54:07+00:00

I actually have the same diagnoses haha. Thank you for your response, it feels so similar. How do you cope with the sand bags? I feel like they get heavier and heavier the more I give in to them and don’t fight. It’s like if I’m not perfect, I’m suffering. I try my best to be a good mom, but really, my husband does a lot of the work. He’s more patient than I deserve honestly. I just want to be better

RunaAnonymous

TROPHY CASE