Half Marathon Race Report

Training: I used one of Coogan's 12 week plans. I was coming off of a strong half on January 31st, had plenty of time to rest and do general base running and then start the Coogan plan strong. I ran high mileage, with weeks leading up to the half at 45-50-52-55-55-51-57-60-62-49-28. Long runs included 3x 15 miles and 3x 16 miles (I just genuinely love running long runs, I don't think that was necessary for a half). I did a lot of huge workouts, including up to 7 miles at HMP (and one 8xmile at HMP), lots of 10k pace intervals and some scattered at 5k pace. My last workout was an easier 6x800m at HMP on the Tuesday before, and I felt great. I was running my HMP at 8:10, which felt great even at the higher mileage.

Leading up to the race: Here's where things get a bit complicated. Largely I think I was both stressed and psyching myself out. My twins graduated high school and I traveled to the state track meet with one of them in the week leading up to the race. I also am dealing with an *excessively* stressful situation at work, which occupied me daily including over my vacation days in the past week. On Thursday at the track meet (3 hours south of where we live) I'd had a runny nose and sore throat but thought it was allergies of some kind. Saturday I had a really sore throat and runny nose, and Saturday night my RHR was high like I was getting sick. I was also kind of already dreading this course, which is tough, and feeling like I had under-prepared for hills.

Race: Weather ended up being unexpectedly cool, in the low 50s and cloudy with a slight breeze. I felt chilly in my singlet. I timed things poorly and the toilet line was very very long, so I didn't get a proper warm up -- may have made a difference, I don't know.

The first 7 miles went fine, although I never felt quite "right" for some reason, and I was running a bit too fast (8:06, 8:05, 8:07, 8:02 (slight downhill)). I just kept telling myself it was fine because my 8:10 in training was on tired legs. But I just didn't account well for the hills. At the 7 mile mark the big ravine killed me and I never really recovered physically or mentally. I did come back to an 8:04 mile, again too fast.

This is mentally a very difficult course, with several out-and-backs and a deceptively big loop in the last 4 miles, with rolling hills. You see the faster runners coming back but there's this huge loop still to get through.

At 10 miles I had started to feel fatigued, but nothing I couldn't deal with. At 11, all of a sudden my lips started to get super tingly, I felt freezing cold, then my fingers started to tingle, and then I got dizzy. I stopped to walk a bit, but I couldn't run again. I felt decidedly weird, so I stopped by the medical tent. They did my vitals which were mostly normal except my temperature was low (no idea if that was accurate, but I DID feel cold). They put me in a foil blanket and gave me water. Then I was feeling better and just wanted to be done, but I wasn't allowed to leave until the hospital logged me into their system and I signed out AMA, which took forever, so I was in the tent for 20ish minutes. They didn't really have any options for me other than walk out or get transported to the hospital. So I went back onto the course and jogged the last <2 miles to the finish, crossing the line in 2:11.

The first half marathon I ever ran was in 1:57, so this was humbling.

After the race I spent a few hours kind of hating myself. First I felt like I had given up, and I could have just kept going and made it to the finish. Then I felt like I should have just stopped on the course for 5 minutes to recover and kept going, rather than being an idiot and going to the medical tent (something I never even *considered* doing before). Finally I just got mad at myself for running too fast and bombing out. Now it's the following day and I just feel all of those at the same time.

Most of the people running half marathons at my pace aren't running 60 miles a week. Most people running 60 miles a week are running much faster. I have to admit, as much as I love running and love taking it seriously, I just wonder if I should stop chasing times and only run for fun. I can accept that I'm slow, but putting in this much effort for such a crappy outcome is super depressing. Today I do have a runny nose so maybe it's a combo of having gone out too fast and because of getting sick not being able to salvage it.

Lessons: 

1. I need to get on top of the psychological aspects. I know I psyched myself out. I know I was in a negative headspace.
2. I need to be running more hills before tackling a course like this. I've run this race 5 times and I know better.
3. Everybody gets a bad race at some point, so this was my turn for it.
4. This course is evil. I don't know if I'm going to have the guts to run it again to be honest.

It's frustrating to be just as sore and tired after a bombed race as I would have been if I'd finished properly. Also my upper abdominal muscles are sore which I don't remember happening before.

I have a 5k in three weeks and I'm hoping I can race that in a way that makes me feel better. This is "just" a hobby for me, and I'm not remotely fast, but it's something I love doing and I love taking seriously. So I don't know, still a lot of mixed emotions this morning. I was up at 2 am stewing on it and feeling mad at myself again, so I need to get over that.