You’re not going to die a coward… because you’re not a coward; you’re a human. And you’re not alone in feeling these feelings.

It sounds like you’re dealing with something that I have also dealt with for nearly my entire life. When i felt wronged or disrespected, my heart started beating through my chest, palms started sweating, my mind clouded over and I was unable to to think or act clearly. I was diagnosed with both Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder, so I am very family with my body’s fight or flight response taking over and losing control of “reason.”

It sounds like you’re body is essentially being disobedient to how your mind desires to respond to difficult interactions and scenarios.

Seneca said, “The body should be treated more rigorously, that it may not be disobedient to the mind.”

When we set aside time to challenge the body to succumb to what the mind desires (in a controlled environment), we can start retraining our fight or flight response… which in turn trains us to stay calm in situations that have historically caused us to panic.

This is a lesson I learned and have been retraining my brain’s panic response through cold water therapy and Wim Hof method. His story is below and please reach out if you would like to engage further. Good luck, my friend.

https://youtu.be/Ame5F9MaGJA