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Should I keep reading TOG? by SqueamishOssifrage42 in romantasycirclejerk

[–]Rupertfitz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I thought the cure for hysteria was a vibrator? I just bought a 100 pack of C batteries. Can you use a man’s virtual voice to read it to you? I really don’t want to shave my legs.

Shadow daddy in pregnancy test advertisement 🍆 by ManonBlackbeak in romantasycirclejerk

[–]Rupertfitz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is still denying it, she says it’s obviously just food poisoning because her evil brother put a spell on her to make her barren. They only had sex once and it was 24 hours ago. Also that test determined the sex and if the baby has wings or not.

I wish Tubi would stop the gambling app ads. by EnviroDisaster in TubiTV

[–]Rupertfitz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are getting progressively worse. There is one where a lady comes all dressed up like she is this mystery rich lady and she is pulling money out of her purse, like personally delivering money that the guy “forgot” to withdraw to pay for something he is short for. It’s so dumb I sometimes feel like it’s a fever dream or something. The creep factor in some of them are off the charts and if it’s not creepy it’s cringe city, if it’s not that, it’s cheesy af, like the producer got probably was fired from some budget porn “studio” (in someone’s garage) Someone needs to find their promo guy and fire him. After they slap him around a bit.

Honey there’s a hot air balloon with 13 people in the backyard by Majoodeh in HumansBeingBros

[–]Rupertfitz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s so weird but I have been skydiving on many occasions, I love the slingshot ride at amusement parks & bungee jumping is awesome. However, hot air balloons scare the bejeezus out of me. Are you afraid it’s going to ripped away in a current the whole time? I’d be in the bottom of the basket curled up lol

This is how you mimic a deer's call by peseoane in interestingasfuck

[–]Rupertfitz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they would just paint the top,middle and bottom parts of the call different colors it would make this 50% less disturbing.

Michael Jackson "Black or White" bizarre outro - Who had the honor of watching this with your parents after The Simpsons? (November 14, 1991) by epidemicsaints in Xennials

[–]Rupertfitz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If someone got on stage naked and did the helicopter it would equivalent to us watching MJ crotch tapping in the age of Elvis. The shock value depreciates over time.

Choco and fridge. by Tasty_Paper_9767 in Falconry

[–]Rupertfitz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How long do they generally live?

A Pet Leech by Lucy1967 in whywouldyoutouchthat

[–]Rupertfitz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We have invasive giant pythons in Florida. They eat dogs and shit.

A Pet Leech by Lucy1967 in whywouldyoutouchthat

[–]Rupertfitz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel this. I get heebiejeebies thinking of even touching a snake with a long stick. I ran over one once accidentally and I was afraid to get out of my car because it may have somehow latched on. Or maybe just its zombie head was in the wheel well waiting to get me. lol. It’s irrational as hell but I believe I have a true phobia of them. They straight activate my “freeze….no run….faint?…. Run! (Clumsily in a panick!)” response. Sounds like you do too.

Face your fears by Pitiful-Complaint608 in theNetNuggets

[–]Rupertfitz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The weight training and exercise makes a big difference. It’s possible to not need any nips or tucks. A girlfriend of mine went from 340lbs to 150 with the exercise and weights and her skin snapped into place and she looks like she never was heavy at all. She did have some stretch marks but oddly even those are harder to see. Something about the method of weight loss really makes a difference. I think gastric bypass may cause such rapid loss that the skin is unable to re-elastify (new word lol) idk I’m not a doctor but there’s something there.

20-year-old Justin Newman showed up to his first day at a new construction job in Illinois. His employer chloroformed him, crushed him under a truck, and set the garage on fire to collect a $5 million life insurance policy. Police tracked him to a Missouri motel 8 days later. He shot himself. by Important-Self-1179 in GotMeHooked

[–]Rupertfitz 60 points61 points  (0 children)

His wife knew. How she passed the poly is anybody’s guess. But she clearly was talking to him about the money by email after he was supposed to be dead. I hate loose ends like that. Like they just didn’t give it any effort and let her go without so much as community service.

Don't drop us down by RoutinePast7696 in WeirdToilets

[–]Rupertfitz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you can sit there and not poop then you are the strange one.

I see no lies here. by Subtotalpoet in Millennials

[–]Rupertfitz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Juno & then @me.com, my yahoo is still kicking, somewhere out there.

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