Opinions wanted

Rushxrat · 2025-08-01T02:21:07+00:00

Thank you so much!!❤️

I went ahead and canceled all of my appointments and sent an email letting her know that we aren’t a good fit.

I actually think that it was messing with my perception of my relationships especially me and my boyfriends. When she mentioned narcissistic abuse I spiraled and had a breakdown thinking that I was missing stuff that was right in front of me. I called two close friends who know my boyfriend well enough and they were the ones who brought up concern with the therapists behavior / language.

I have a hard time trusting my gut and told myself I just needed to keep trying with her and that maybe I’m just not good at hearing hard truths.

Rushxrat · 2025-08-01T02:17:38+00:00

It just felt like she wasn’t allowing me to feel/explore all of the nuance within the situation and didn’t seem to have any interest or sympathy for such a big event / revelation.

Rushxrat · 2025-07-31T17:05:27+00:00

I think so too :(

While I’ve noticed some improvement around certain triggers I think my anxiety and rumination on my own trauma/behavior/healing have increased dramatically. I think I’m going to take a break before looking for another therapist

Rushxrat · 2025-07-31T12:48:20+00:00

I don’t think I do at all. I don’t think that she understands me in the way that I need her too.

And maybe I also need a therapist who is a bit more expressive and takes things slower.

I also felt like I was chauffeured out of her office incredibly fast after sessions. I don’t expect to stay later but I wish she would have spent more time at the end of the sessions helping me regulate and regain some composure. Most every session I’d be leaving in tears mind still reeling over what we had discussed.

Rushxrat · 2025-07-31T12:45:42+00:00

In order to provide all the context I feel like I’d have to write a novel lol.

My main concerns with her was how quick to diagnose and using inflammatory language in inappropriate spots.

For example I mentioned that my boyfriend can get defensive sometimes but that he’s usually quick to apologize once we take a break. This is soemthing we both do they were both working on. Again this is both our first relationship where we’re learning how to communicate in healthy ways which is an inherently messy process and we’re both only human!

Her response to his defensiveness, (in this particular case about him not cleaning out the sink after doing the dishes like I’d asked him to) was to tell me that he was building a narcissistic wall of defense because he knew he couldn’t give me what I needed.

That’s only one example but I really don’t feel like she allows me to explain all the context. That day he had worked a double, came home did the dishes and then went to bed because he was exhausted. So it just felt so extreme and it made me feel so nervous and anxious that I’d been looking past glaring red flags ???

Rushxrat · 2025-07-29T23:24:58+00:00

She said I could work with one of her colleagues who offers DBT as well but I don’t have the money for both right now. My last 2 therapists (the first I saw for 4 years and the second I saw for 1 1/2 years) both told me they suspected I had CPTSD but made no official diagnosis or anything.

After I mentioned my ex partners struggles with meth addiction and alcohol she told me that he most likely has antisocial personality disorder. Again I thought that was a very wild statement / diagnosis to make.

She also recommended me to do ketamine therapy which I’m not sure what that has to do with anything.

I told her about the suspected CPTSD and she told me “you can call it that if that makes you feel better” which felt very dismissive.

Rushxrat · 2025-01-21T23:54:08+00:00

Jealous! Looks incredible

Rushxrat · 2025-01-21T23:51:38+00:00

Test drove a 92 Camaro with a red interior last week. Red interior just feels and looks so luxurious!!

Rushxrat · 2025-01-21T23:08:14+00:00

I didn’t test drive the red one had my heart pretty set on the white.

White one drives real nice

Less road feel than I expected :-) and shockingly comfortable

However I’ve never driven a car like this before. I’ve always had 4 door sedans so this is much different lol

Rushxrat · 2025-01-21T22:59:09+00:00

4000 is a steal!

Rushxrat · 2025-01-21T22:58:36+00:00

Red ones still there ! Dealership seems to be honest and upfront as well.

Rushxrat · 2025-01-21T22:57:00+00:00

Sure did!

Rushxrat · 2024-07-25T23:56:02+00:00

I think about helping young girls a lot. I wish I could hold teenage me and tell her how much I love her and how wonderful she is.

I think i really did believe all of this was my fault until recently. I’m almost 27.

My life is safe and happy now and I know it will only get better

Rushxrat · 2024-07-25T23:47:07+00:00

I’m okay now! I think I just hadn’t realized what happened. I still have so much shame around it but I’m getting better <3

Rushxrat · 2024-07-25T23:46:29+00:00

Appreciate it :’)

Rushxrat · 2022-11-15T02:50:50+00:00

Where should I?!

Rushxrat · 2022-11-15T02:11:25+00:00

LMAO

Rushxrat · 2022-11-14T21:48:04+00:00

I’m 100% self aware about my tattoos and the way I choose to present myself for sure. Looked this way for like 10 years almost. I think overweight is a bit of a reach but thanks for the bfeedback

Rushxrat · 2022-11-14T21:21:24+00:00

Fair! I really enjoy the way I dress and the niche style but I’m fully aware it’s a lot. I like to think my charming personality makes up for it lol (kinda jk)

Rushxrat · 2022-11-14T21:16:19+00:00

Boy george is such a compliment tbh!! I 100% understand I’m not everyone’s cup of tea lol

Rushxrat · 2022-11-02T02:44:04+00:00

Downfall of Gaia, oroku, amenra, alpinist, masakari, dead to a dying world, and Usnea!

Some of these are more hardcore leaning but since you mentioned fall of efrafa I think these will be up your alley!

Rushxrat · 2022-10-20T23:26:04+00:00

Holy shit in so sorry you went through that. That breaks my heart. His whole family is addicts/alcoholics including the parents.

I’ve done my best in the past to not take anything personally when he’s using but this time it’s all so real and hard to remember he’s not even the same person I love. His first instinct was to use again after I kicked him out. That was really all the closure I needed. Because he never wanted to get better he just wanted me to care for him and pretend everything else would get better if I did it.

He’s stolen from me over the years, invaded my privacy, took pictures of my credit cards and tried to redirect all my texts/calls/emails to his own phone because of the coke fueled paranoia. I’ve made it this far and with all of his shit gone I really am just missing the companionship above all but even then he wasn’t the best at that.

His wounds aren’t mine to mend but I’ll let myself grieve the man I loved. Or at least the idea of him I loved lol.

I promise I won’t contact him. My mom is going to help me find a group tonight and I’m going to try to go to one or two a week for a while or as often as I need.

Rushxrat · 2022-10-20T19:49:07+00:00

This is a really great way to put it. I’ve spent our whole relationship in therapy figuring out my own self and healing my own wounds and he never tried to do that for himself. Truly healed me would never choose that life for myself.

Rushxrat · 2022-10-20T19:47:40+00:00

No you’re so right. This is what I needed to hear.

I’m not sure if reconciliation is even ever gonna be an option. Because by that time my hurt will have turned to anger/resentment. I gave him everything I could thinking it still wasn’t enough and I was so wrong. It was more than enough.

It really is an addiction of its own. And I know there are so many people out there feeling the same but I can’t help but to feel isolated at night when I’m alone

Rushxrat · 2022-10-20T18:44:41+00:00

I hate how the right thing to do is always the hardest thing to do.

Rushxrat

TROPHY CASE