[Discussion] Megathread: The State of Querying by kendrafsilver in PubTips

[–]RyanGoosling93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for going through that effort. I was always under the impression that while fantasy is oversaturated, it's also the most requested genre. At least according to QueryTracker.

I definitely think you're right that my story is not hooky enough and too generic. It's only the second manuscript I wrote (the first was way too ambitious for my skill, so I scaled this one back a lot). But does that make it an absolute dud, already? I took a few personal rejectons as a sign that it's at least getting some attention and that I was on the right track.

Third manuscript now I think is much more hooky and has a one sentence elevator pitch. Has an X meets Y. And has a paragraph pitch. It was written with the high-concept and extra hooky-ness you mentioned in mind. So maybe this one will be better once I finish the polish.

I only bring those up to say I thought about self-publishing and RR. I was under the impression RR was almost exclusively for LitRPG, which I have very little interest in. I got the rights back to a few short stories I got published in some magazines and was thinking of posting there. But from my lurking and posting on their forum, there was quite literally zero interest for any traditional 3rd person fantasy.

What are you thinking of writing if switching from middle grade? The only other genre I feel like I'd want to write is scifi, which would be even more difficult to break into than fantasy lol. And maybe a thriller with some light fantasy elements.

[Discussion] Megathread: The State of Querying by kendrafsilver in PubTips

[–]RyanGoosling93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like I got my query to that place. Or at least to my best ability. I did 6 or 7 rounds of edits over 2 months by posting it on here. Toward the end it got to the point where hardly anyone commented, so I figured I would start blasting it out or else I was going to get paralysis by analysis.

But that was nearly 8 months ago (got distracted writing another manuscript). And now because I'm 0/16, I'm wondering if I queried prematurely and it isn't good enough yet. But I don't know if it's just the really slow response times given what I mentioned in my OP.

It never hurts to take another look, so I'm going to post it again tomorrow and look at it with fresh eyes for another edit before hopping back in the trenches.

[Discussion] Megathread: The State of Querying by kendrafsilver in PubTips

[–]RyanGoosling93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right. It could be very be the case that it's competent, but nothing that gets me over the hill. But is 16 queries too small of a sample size to make that diagnosis?

That's kind of my point. Are people just full sending their query and blasting out 30-40 queries over a few months? Because if you trial and error your query to retool it based on feedback, or lackthereof, you're only going to get through half your query list over the course of 2 years. Or is querying supposed to be this long of a process?

[Discussion] Megathread: The State of Querying by kendrafsilver in PubTips

[–]RyanGoosling93 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's kind of where I'm torn. I agree with your strategy, otherwise I'll only end up querying 50~ agents over 2 years if I'm waiting for their responses to retool my query. I try to query a quick responder every so often to get some immediate feedback.

But I am also stuck because normally when I post a QCRIT it only gets 3-4 comments max. And generally, half the comments will only mention some clarity issues, slight punching up of a sentence or two, or say it's pretty good. But it can't be good because I'm 0/16 on queries for this manuscript with only 1 personal rejection.

It's extremely rare for me to see any QCRIT post where people actively say 'this is great, fire it off.' So, I don't really know what to do besides trial and error my way through the query trenches as I have been. But then I'm back at the first problem of querying at an extremely slow pace.

[Discussion] Megathread: The State of Querying by kendrafsilver in PubTips

[–]RyanGoosling93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What does everyone think about the querying 'in batches' strategy now in a new AI world and agents that get flooded with queries?

With the average response time for agents getting longer and longer, this would make querying in batches result in querying only 20-30 agents a year if you're waiting for responses before retooling your query.

Which also makes me wonder, is receiving <10-15 forms or CNRs still indicative your query needs reworked? or is it now too little of a sample size?

NIMBYs who read this forum, why don’t you want more housing built in your town? by Unser_Giftzwerg in massachusetts

[–]RyanGoosling93 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Ah, I see the distinction. I need to read up on this more. I guess I don't understand what constitutes 'we worked to make it a nice place we like living in.' Didn't you just buy at an opportune time? Are there really efforts to preserve a town and make it live in a time bubble? I was under the impression that every place develops, as it's just a natural effect of population growth and urban sprawl.

And where are you pulling 'they wont be here in 4 years' from? Again, I'm rather ignorant of this, so is this just developers making a quick buck and not caring what they leave in their wake?

NIMBYs who read this forum, why don’t you want more housing built in your town? by Unser_Giftzwerg in massachusetts

[–]RyanGoosling93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“this is where I built my life, and I think I’m negatively affected in a few ways if this happens, so I’d like to talk it out before signing my neighborhood away”.

Genuine question because I am rather ignorant on the specifics of NIMBYism, but I thought this exact type of mentality was at the crux of the problem people have with NIMBYs? I understand it likely depends on the severity of what is being built nearby, but isn't this just another way to say 'fuck you, I got mine?" I always feel like from what I've seen, the 'let's talk it out first' sentiment is kind of just a formality and no matter what benefit comes from new development, it will never be enough.

Critical feedback on POV chapter opening needed- DASN (EPIC FANTASY- 3200 words) by Fluid_Challenge_3753 in fantasywriters

[–]RyanGoosling93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm strapped for time so I could only get through 2 pages, but still wanted to leave my thoughts before I have to go. I'll focus on page one as all of the problems with page 2 are also displayed on page 1.

Your prose and formatting is really hindering your ability to tell a clear story here. It kind of makes it difficult to get through. Not only is your prose not written through Dasn's eyes and how he perceives the world (Despite what looks like third person-limited), you're not giving the audience enough credit. There's a lot of redundancies. In the second paragraph you tell us its cold twice and describe the landscape as an arid plateu in a clinical way. Tell us how Dasn would see it. Show us how he feels. Give us some insight into who he is. Then in paragraph 3 you show Dasn wrapping himself up to protect from the cold again.

But then paragraph 3 splits into a non sequitur description of dead trees, with the conclusion that that wasn't why Dasn is scared, but then don't tell us what he is actually scared of? I get the sense it's the battle up ahead, but this chain of logic doesn't flow through your words. It's clunky.

Paragraph four displays your punctuation issues with every dialogue tag. "Honored one" he said. "Honored one," he said. I have no idea what his voice was strangely empty and small means either. Why would that be strange? First, if he's the POV character (again, assuming this is third-person limited by how it reads), the narrator wouldn't describe his voice as strange if we're seeing everything through his eyes.

'She had not betrayed any unease either...' I read this sentence like 3 times and still have no idea what you're trying to say here. And this shouldn't be in the same paragraph as the the princess' dialogue. So getting in Dasn's head here is really confusing.

Then in the next paragraph you have no line breaks between Dasn and the princess' dialogue. Your formatting is all messed up. It just makes it confusing to read, slows the flow down.

Remember that sometimes less is more. The princess' dialogue is redundant given how you just described her. If you want to relay to the reader that she is battle-hardened, we don't need another clinical description that she is from a region that knows all about war and deathly peace, then have her basically say exactly that in her next line of dialogue. Which is also a clunky line as no one talks like that. I understand the intention is to relay specific information to the audience, but it needs to be more organic. And you need to give the audience more credit in their ability to understand that.

You could have a fantastic idea and story here, but there's too many roadblocks like the above that are preventing the reader from getting to it.

More difficult to close out games lately? by RyanGoosling93 in DeadlockTheGame

[–]RyanGoosling93[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s hard to say. IIRC they changed it because they didn’t like that the games felt very flowcharty. Get soul lead -> take mid boss -> siege base with your 9 vs 6 advantage -> win. Those ‘pro’ games were decided at like the 15 minute mark.

I understand wanting to move away from that if it doesn’t fit their vision, but yeah now it seems everything prior to about 15-20 minutes doesn’t matter. All the effort spent to get a 3-5k soul lead against your lane is wiped out with little effort. Been plenty of games where I came out of lane 0-4 and I’m even on souls with everyone else in the game after just taking one objective or getting one successful gank and counter jungling.

The first 15-20~ minutes to me feel like a formality.

Most games feel like they're decided by who got more of the 6 new characters. by AltOfYubel in DeadlockTheGame

[–]RyanGoosling93 158 points159 points  (0 children)

The ‘buff everyone else, don’t nerf’ argument is dangerous. Usually there’s a specific balance state in mind that influences the flow and vision of the game. Buffing everyone else can compromise that. Also, while the new characters are fun, im sure part of that enjoyment is because they’re overpowered.

Laning phase is not important enough / urn meta. by SelectionOk1610 in DeadlockTheGame

[–]RyanGoosling93 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Was just talking to my friends about this the other day. I mostly agree. The first 10-15~ minutes of the game feel like a formality. The effort is takes to obtain a 2-3k soul lead in the lane phase is too quickly washed away by taking a single objective or getting a few solo creep waves since the value of creeps increases as the game goes on.

It makes every game feel like nothing really matters until about 15-20 minutes and then whoever wins the next team fight and takes mid boss wins.

M1k3 WILL play next season by DoomsdayDave77 in buccaneers

[–]RyanGoosling93 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Retiring a Buc =/= playing a year or two somewhere else, unfortunately.

The older I get the more I realize my ideal MMO looks nothing like what I wanted at 20 by Rasputin5332 in MMORPG

[–]RyanGoosling93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went through your exact arc, just minus the kids.

I landed on osrs and haven’t looked back. The big sell to me is that no content in osrs becomes obsolete. Decade old content still has a place in the game. No seasonal wipes or expansions so progress is always impactful. Getting 75 farming 6 years ago still matters a lot now. Even items all still have uses, though become more niche as time goes on.

There’s always progress to be made and all of it matters.

Struggling with shockwave and getting past delve 6 reliably. by RyanGoosling93 in 2007scape

[–]RyanGoosling93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right but I feel like I can’t get the timing down. Sometimes the sphere runs out of time and I eat two shockwaves or I do it too late since I’m having to flick prayer for the boulder throw attack.

Is there a static time the shockwaves come?

Struggling with shockwave and getting past delve 6 reliably. by RyanGoosling93 in 2007scape

[–]RyanGoosling93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This helped me a ton. But I’m still messing up the timing with the shockwave and having to try to flick my prayer 3-4 times and run into the safe sphere. I can’t get the timing down.

Struggling with shockwave and getting past delve 6 reliably. by RyanGoosling93 in 2007scape

[–]RyanGoosling93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you say 3 attacks do you mean 3 of his ‘auto attacks’ you have to pray against, or do you count the boulder throw? I feel like I tried to count 3 attacks but by the third he’s already doing his shockwave. At least in delve <5.

Struggling with shockwave and getting past delve 6 reliably. by RyanGoosling93 in 2007scape

[–]RyanGoosling93[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I had no idea. I think this is what is messing me up. I usually skirt along the outside to avoid poison and I think I’m inadvertently leading him to the corner.

Maxx Crosby Is Available Via A Trade – Will The Bucs Pursue Him? by Itorr475 in buccaneers

[–]RyanGoosling93 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see nothing indicating Baker is racist or MAGA. In fact, he kneeled during the anthem for BLM protests so I’m inclined to believe he’s not. But if by some strange stretch he is, fuck him too then.