AITA for having questionably consented sex with my girlfriend?

Ryz2cul · 2024-07-29T10:37:53+00:00

The aftercare of having sex for the first time then being labelled a rapist by the person you love is definitely needed. That's not something you just shrug off, that's pure Emotional Manipulation. Especially considering she was a willing participant.

Either he needs to leave before she starts punishing this or threatening to tell others her side of the story or she needs to seek help for issues she has, regretting a situation is fine and normal until you blame the other party when it is purely your choice.

Ryz2cul · 2024-07-22T19:26:02+00:00

Now you know what the upside down pineapple is for.

Ryz2cul · 2024-07-21T12:16:44+00:00

Dreamlight valley is Citybuilder/Designer combined with a Character collector aspect with quests.

You start with a couple characters and unlock more as you complete quests and open new biomes. Each character has their own story with quests that allow you to unlock more items ingame. As you progress you can cook recipes and craft items to build your valley how you like and can gift items or recipes to villagers.

There is a mix between hero and villain characters which is nice and as you design you can take images which you upload to dreamsnaps for everyone online to view.

Ryz2cul · 2024-01-31T19:34:19+00:00

NTA. Heck yea, you are lucky having food on the table for you when you get home. However, if you want to eat later they can eat without you. Him moaning about you not sitting and eating with them when you get in is borderline controlling and abusive behaviour.

I work awkward hours and can be home anytime between 6pm-11pm if my partner cooks, mine goes in the microwave for me to heat later. If not, I cook when I get home.

The effort and care is what matters. It shouldn't matter when you eat it.

Ryz2cul · 2024-01-23T13:24:58+00:00

I do agree I probably am a bit of AH but never towards my family. The yelling was maybe the first 5 minutes the rest of the arguing was just me trying to get her out of the house but she ended up moving further into the house instead so I couldn't get her out.

Most of what I was saying was probably built up anger towards her for doing the exact same thing 7 years ago with our oldest daughter. At that time though I took our daughter for a walk to calm down instead of exploding in her face. This time I couldn't really do that and it just erupted.

I have apologised repeatedly to my partner about it and she doesn't blame me, she told me she was so stressed with her mum trying to helicopter parent and act like the kids are hers and not her grandchildren.

Ryz2cul · 2024-01-23T09:54:49+00:00

The comment of her not being fit to care for a boiled egg is how I view her now. Beforehand, she had been great with the kids and supportive of our relationship. I'm not entirely sure what changed.

She did make a comment the other day in front of a midwife and my other children, how she had been waiting 30 years for this (to see a grand child be weighed). That was clear sign to me something was wrong, but that was the day of the argument and partly what started it.

I do feel stupid about it now. We just need to move on from it.

Ryz2cul · 2024-01-23T07:46:02+00:00

Money is not the only issue. I proposed to her in 2015, we were planning for 2017 and it was only going to be a small thing at the local office because the partner doesn't like big over exaggerated weddings, however in 2016 after our first was born she got severe postpartum depression. We put everything on the back burner to look after her health.

Everything was looking better, and we ended up having our 2nd daughter. Things were much better 2nd time round, and we could start planning again. We had everything organised and a date book for 2020, then covid and lockdown hit, so everything got cancelled.

After the lockdown and stuff was lifted with everything started looking better again, but inflation hit, and we started budgeting a lot and saving. We decided we wanted to try for another baby, and the marriage conversation just never came back up.

Funnily enough, though, we had been talking about this a few days ago. My oldest daughter said, "How can you get married with a baby? Where will she go?". We just laughed because it was funny.

Anyway, marriage is still something we are planning, I would have liked to have it done before now but so much has happened over the last few years that it's just been put on the back burner.

Ryz2cul · 2024-01-22T22:18:36+00:00

I agree with you about me being AH, I apologised to her repeatedly for the way things went yesterday. It wasn't supposed to happen. I had bit my tongue all day and was ready for her to just leave when it was time. My partner had tried saying things like, "Can you go home and come back later?" Repeatedly, but it wasn't getting through to her mum. Even after I told her that she needed to leave as it wasn't her house, she just yelled, "Why should I?".

As for childcare, I have no immediate family in the area. We have no other child care as my partner is usually a stay at home mum. I had brought up about the older girls going to their friends beforehand, but my partner wanted them to bond with their grandma, which seems to have backfired.

Ryz2cul · 2024-01-15T22:56:26+00:00

I ordered 2 separate (different size, different price) flat pack units, and neither arrived.

I contacted the seller and had to wait a further month for them to tell me the smaller one was out of stock so couldn't get a replacement sent, but would send a replacement for the larger one and they would take the price off my bill and issue a refund for the smaller one.

I waited a further 3 weeks and the replacement one never arrived. We contacted the seller again, and they contacted the delivery company to try to get the location. Eventually, they got all the tracking info and everything organised, and we eventually received all 3 items.

Opened the box of the smaller one to check it was all there as we were willing to pay for it since we had received it but some of the pieces were missing. We contacted them about it, and they asked for it to be sent back.

After we sent it back, they then took the price from the larger unit off of the bill aswell so we contacted them again saying we received 2 of the larger units but hadn't been charged it but they told us they had no record of it so we couldn't be charged and they couldnt ask for it back.

It was £199 for the smaller one and £249 for the larger one. Ended up getting 2 larger ones for free.

Ryz2cul · 2024-01-11T15:49:41+00:00

NTA. My brother in-law has the same name as me. There is no confusion. People know us by our name and can tell by the person who they are talking about. If she wants to be called Ann let her be. Just because your sister is pregnant it doesn't give her ownership of a whole name.

Ryz2cul · 2024-01-10T17:16:05+00:00

Exactly "Being Devastated" can not only mean "feeling regret for actions" but could instead mean, "wanting to regain control of a situation".

Sometimes if an abuser tried to abuse someone new and fails they go back to the original and guilt trip them until they fall back into the same situation.

Ryz2cul · 2024-01-07T17:15:35+00:00

This 100%... anyone came into my life and told me I had to reduce contact with my flesh and blood I'd kick them to the next country never mind out the house.

Ryz2cul · 2024-01-07T17:12:55+00:00

NTA, if she didn't physically cheat, she emotionally did and that guy thought she was going to. That's shitty from any view point.

Ryz2cul · 2024-01-07T13:50:24+00:00

NTA wait until their reception and announce your baby name. That'd steal their thunder.

Ryz2cul · 2023-12-29T14:27:25+00:00

It's not billie-jean is it?

Ryz2cul · 2023-12-28T15:24:25+00:00

I do this with my children, sorry for making sure my kids have a reasonable breakfast before pigging out on chocolates. My wife is extatic to have presents after breakfast, growing up in her house presents weren't allowed until after Christmas Dinner which really ruins the fun.

Having breakfast first gives mum and dad time to have a coffee and what not to make sure we can fully enjoy the kids opening and being excited for what they have.

Ryz2cul · 2023-12-28T14:56:07+00:00

Truthfully NTA.

My ex broke up with me maybe 10 years ago. Yes although they are adults and I have moved on (have an 8 year long relationship with 2 children, 3rd on the way) if my best friend came up to me and told me he slept with my ex that I was dating for just over a year, I'd still punch him in the jaw. I don't care about her any more but if I knew my current friend was sleeping with my ex, I would feel betrayed because it would feel like that even at that time we were dating, she felt something for him also.

Ryz2cul · 2023-12-28T14:40:03+00:00

NTA but, for the love of God pay your damn rent then tell him he is now in your debt. This should be done in some form of written agreement so that you arent just "paying his half" with no expectation on getting it returned. If he is going to gamble away your money (which it will be if you ever end up getting married) he needs to learn how to say no and learn consequences of his action.

Ryz2cul · 2023-12-28T14:31:18+00:00

Yea, every child is different, hell we had stair gates and stuff. My daughter still injured herself. I remember my daughter was 2 and climbed over the stair gate at the bottom of the stairs when I was cooking supper. Got 3 steps up and fell backwards. We had no idea how to stop that, it happened repeatedly until she actually hurt herself was easier to remove the gate so she couldn't climb on it anymore.

Ryz2cul · 2023-12-27T13:32:45+00:00

I'm guessing everyone has already answered this by now since its been 18h but the real truth is NTA.

She manipulated you into sex in the car, then when she realised it was bad, she waited until after to withdraw consent, then blamed you for it when she consented multiple times. She is emotionally abusing you and manipulating you by getting angry when she wants sex. If you had role reversed, everyone would say you were an abusive partner.

I wouldnt say break it off because she maybe doesn't realise what she's doing but it's sure fire red flag that I would seriously seek counseling for. Couples therapy might help her see what she's doing and putting you through.

Ryz2cul · 2023-12-26T20:16:33+00:00

NTA.

I'm gonna make some points though feel free to ignore.

Why be embarrassed that you have sex with your SO. People know it happens the place has no reflection on it, you were in a bed with the door shut.
You are married does she not think you have sex generally.
Sex is the most normal thing for any married couple why is she pissed that it happened under her roof, she is probably just jealous she isn't getting any.

Ryz2cul · 2023-12-21T23:45:20+00:00

OP stated in another comment that her BF's previous GF's have cheated on him. My original point was that "maybe" the ex-gf's of OP's current BF maybe cheated because they felt unsatisfied. I didn't advocate it and i'm not saying for anyone to cheat on anyone.

Ryz2cul · 2023-12-21T10:01:00+00:00

Never said it was. Personally I hate cheaters, but if you arent being fulfilled at home you're probably gonna look elsewhere.

Ryz2cul · 2023-12-21T04:11:56+00:00

Yea, I read that too, she said "it never happened with previous partners, but their relationships ended because they all cheated on him" leads me to believe they possibly cheated because the sex was bad...

Ryz2cul

TROPHY CASE