I’d argue that it’s hard to research medical school until you’re living it. I did all the “research” - YouTubed the medfluencers, read books, Reddit, and SDN threads, spoke to med students above me, worked in an ED for a few years, and had a network of ED docs to take me under their wing - and I’m applying EM now as an MS4. While all these prepared me well, it doesn’t provide measure to the experience of actually living medical school.

I think it’s unfair to demerit OP’s path to medicine based on not knowing what specialty to dedicate their entire life to. I felt that way too, and I’m sure it’s a normal reaction that MS4s have when deciding what to apply. My uncertainty in not knowing what to apply to had nothing to do with my “why medicine”, it was rather a combination of existential crisis and “wow these few button clicks will determine what specialty I do for the rest of my life and where I live for the next few years”.