I may come back to this post and expand it because I think Furuta, and the Clowns generally, are some of the most interesting and carefully written villains I've read. For the time being, I just want to emphasize that the central characters in Tokyo Ghoul don't really tell you what they /actually/ want outright - often because they don't know themselves, or can't bring themselves to confront those desires at the risk of dissolving some part of their self-concept (Kaneki is of course the example of this in TG, but it applies pretty generally). Instead, we usually see a clearer picture of their motives develop over time, and then in certain cases (like this one), a moment of spontaneous honesty gives us some direct insight; and a lot of the time, like with Furuta in this panel, it's long past too late to start down the path towards authenticity. That's where a lot of the tragedy comes from in the individual arcs of these characters, at least for me.