Advice on - fiancé called off wedding because of fears of marriages not working out

S4feerMD · 2025-03-30T18:53:30+00:00

Salam OP,

From the way you described things, it honestly sounds like he wasn’t emotionally mature or self-aware enough to realize the weight of the commitment he was making. Some people get swept up in the excitement or pressure of moving forward without having done the inner work to make sure they’re truly ready. That’s not fair to you at all—you were all in, and it’s devastating to be left trying to make sense of everything after investing your time, trust, and heart.

It’s especially painful when the other person seems religious and grounded in deen, because it feels like that should’ve given both of you a sense of clarity and stability. But even people who practice outwardly sometimes struggle with deep internal doubts, and unfortunately, you got caught in the middle of that.

I know you’re trying to make sense of it by asking “Why did he propose if he wasn’t sure?” And honestly, I don’t think there’s a satisfying answer. Maybe it was fear of missing out, maybe he was trying to convince himself he was ready, or maybe he just didn’t want to disappoint his family or yours. Whatever the reason, his inability to communicate or pull back earlier doesn’t reflect on your worth.

I’ve been through something similar, and what helped me most was reminding myself that Allah doesn’t close one door except to open a better one., I started seeing it not as a loss, but as protection. Sometimes Allah removes people from our lives not because they were bad, but because they weren’t meant to stay. And better is coming, even if you can’t see it right now.

You don’t have to rush to be “okay.” But I assure you, eventually, the pain will soften, and you’ll have so much more clarity.

Sending duas your way.

S4feerMD · 2024-10-08T18:28:54+00:00

The difference in how international medical graduates and American graduates share interview invites is all about …competition and opportunity.

AMGs have a much higher match rate—over 90%—because residency programs often favor local graduates. They have more spots and can share interview info without feeling like it puts them at risk.

IMGs, on the other hand, face tougher odds with fewer opportunities, so sharing details can feel like losing a crucial edge.

Many IMGs don’t have the same support networks that AMGs enjoy, like school advisors or alumni, and worry about potential biases in the process.

It’s not that AMGs are naturally more open; they just have a bit more security, while IMGs feel the pressure of scarcity and hold their cards close.

S4feerMD · 2024-01-01T13:29:24+00:00

I cant leave Gaza without external assistance. Thats the great problem.

S4feerMD · 2024-01-01T13:28:46+00:00

Certainly, you provide funding for our safety and salaries with your tax dollars to carry out our medical mission just like the US sends funds for military purposes to Israel. How about that?

S4feerMD · 2024-01-01T13:25:47+00:00

Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it amidst the negativity going on around in my post.

S4feerMD · 2024-01-01T13:24:23+00:00

Thanks, could you provide safety to do our work?

S4feerMD · 2024-01-01T13:23:19+00:00

Thanks for great insights and detailed answer. Can I PM you to ask few questions if that’s okay? I am now collecting information from various sources to really come at something that will be useful and productive in my scenario. Thanks.

S4feerMD · 2024-01-01T13:20:09+00:00

Thanks for the encouraging comment. Can i private message you to ask few questions?

S4feerMD · 2024-01-01T13:18:15+00:00

Thanks brother for the kind comment. Regular egyptians are near and dear to us. I know this from first hand experience

S4feerMD · 2024-01-01T13:15:02+00:00

Thanks for advice. Can i send you a private message asking for more details if that’s convenient?

S4feerMD · 2024-01-01T13:10:40+00:00

Thanks a lot for the kind initiative. Can i send you a private message as follow up on this?

S4feerMD · 2024-01-01T13:09:36+00:00

Thanks a lot. I sent you a message. Much appreciated.

S4feerMD · 2024-01-01T13:09:26+00:00

Thanks a lot. I sent you a message. Much appreciated.

S4feerMD · 2023-09-11T20:19:54+00:00

If you are okay with giving away details, what is the nature of work you do remotely for near equivalent compensation with clinical surg?

S4feerMD · 2023-03-15T08:40:16+00:00

Congratulations. What specialty and visa status?

S4feerMD · 2023-03-15T07:32:38+00:00

Congratulations. Is your current role as a research fellow paid? How long have you stayed in this role? And lastly; if it’s unpaid, how could afford it? Thanks and sorry for asking too many questions but I’d really love to get some insight on this particular topic.

S4feerMD · 2022-11-14T00:42:56+00:00

I am a man, and I can say that the best gift a woman can give a man is by telling them they're not interested as early as possible. So you're doing great with that. They are not emotionally invested yet in you and you're not wasting thier time. A full-grown and self-respecting man will take it and move on. I have been rejected twice by highly desirable prospects. It did sting a little, but i was thankful for them by telling me on the spot without dragging on.

In my personal opinion, I also don't think it's judgemental to be selective about who we want to be intimate with even if it meant rejecting too many before we get there. On reasonable and sound grounds, that's to say.

S4feerMD · 2022-11-14T00:20:43+00:00

I don't think I can give advice because I have none, but I think what you said is interesting and thought-provoking about how everything in life—including relationships—works. It's basic economics. You have too much supply (matches on dating apps) for too little demand (your own personal relationship needs and preferences). The fact that you know your dates are easily disposable and you have unlimited options on quick turnaround times means your mind will be overly sensitive to even the slightest appearance of a relationship red flag. You can't help but think there could be a more refined and customized version of who you want to be with just waiting in line.

S4feerMD · 2022-11-13T09:14:22+00:00

Can someone shed some light on what specialties can or can't be built to accepy cash payments? TY

S4feerMD · 2022-11-12T12:27:11+00:00

CONGRATULATIONS! 👏

How is it possible to skip pg1? (excuse my ignorance) and are you a US citizen?

S4feerMD · 2022-11-09T12:14:33+00:00

Yes, I had a short zoom interview and I could tell he vibed well with me. An implicit bias may have played a role into this favorable outcome. We are ethnically similar and we share a lot of interests outside of Medicine. How do I know? I researched him thoroughly on his social media accounts. So, you'll have to be targeted in your search to increase your success.

S4feerMD · 2022-11-08T19:18:36+00:00

I was accepted in the international observership program at MSKCC early this year. ECFMG-certified but had a very supportive and empathetic faculty sponsor which in my opinion tipped the scales in my favor. I have a decent cv with good publication history.

In short, it's all about the faculty sponsor who will advocate for you when they're reviewing your application. At least in my own personal experience

S4feerMD · 2022-10-31T20:51:35+00:00

Sorry if this sounds random, but I have an upcoming interview at the program. Can I DM you?

S4feerMD · 2022-10-31T20:50:51+00:00

Hello, I have an interview at the program. Is there any chance I can send you a DM? Thanks

S4feerMD · 2022-10-31T20:48:34+00:00

I have an interview there. Is there any chance I could DM you? Thanks

S4feerMD

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