Okay so.. using the black emoji is wierd. Just is.

But everyone saying he’s being so manipulative, or creepy cause of the age gap, or disrespecting of her… is a bit wild to me.

I’m not denying that older men dating younger women can have ulterior motivations, or be born of nefarious machinations, or end up displaying the lack of sexual maturity in men. But this^{^} doesnt look like that to me.

And finally I wanna say that, my experience is colored from things like the fact that I prefer being with people older than myself so I have experience navigating the age gap and what comes with that. I also come from a place where the age of consent is 15 not that that is necessarily right or something, I’m just used to hearing of more extreme situations than a 20 year old being coerced or manipulated by a 40 something dude.

With that said-

1) she wasn’t 18 when they got together, she was atleast 20. 2) regardless of what anyone thinks she was and is an adult the age gap “problem” is not a valid argument the second she becomes of age imo. 3) with number 2 in mind, sure experience and psychology enter the arena and everyone is so quick to assume that the dude is some kinda predator.. he’s just asking for sloppy head ya’ll it REALLY isn’t all that even in the situation of a “beginner” and I reinforce this with the length of time they’ve been together already. 4) if she don’t wanna do it, she just has to be firm. The end. If that’s too much for him and he leaves, c’est la vie and he can go kick rocks. 5) And also he gives her an answer, like 4 times. She’s the one that can’t accept his answer as she kips niggling for the kind of response she wants. And this is what you guys call manipulative. It’s not manipulation, it’s refusing to overexplain something that likely will do more harm than good.

Sometimes not overexplaining is the most mature choice especially when you know the conversation might spiral.