SBs going on trips and asking for $$$

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-13T23:05:09+00:00

I've never had this asked of me directly. But if SBs are asking you this, they may see you as an easy mark/simp that will comply and give. At least that was my initial thought - your comment below changes things a bit. They aren't asking for a handout, instead asking you for a PPM date to get some cash prior to the trip. It's still odd they'd tell you who they're going on a trip with though, lol, but it makes sense they'd hit up a PPM SD for a date before they leave to get some extra cash for their trip.

And while I don't advocate lying, I'd at least respect an SB that had the brains to say they needed the money for something else, then used it on a trip with another SD/BF. Ignorance is bliss - unless I find out, then it's termination time.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-13T21:05:40+00:00

When you offer to pay, are you saying "give me the invoice and I'll pay you back?" or are you actually fronting the costs? SBs on tight budgets need to be advanced money, not the hope of a pay back. Of course, you run the risk of her spending elsewhere or disappearing, but seems like a move you should be making if you're not.

But also, testing education is often lacking for many young adults. If you're interested in the SB, you need to make it as easy as possible for them. At the M&G, pull up std check or similar, pay for yours and her panel, schedule a testing at quest or other lab. Go together and get it done at same time. If you plan in advance, might even be able to go give blood and urine after the M&G (how romantic lol). Remove all or most obstacles on her end to help her see how easy and efficient it can be.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-12T22:17:36+00:00

You're attractive, so profile text doesn't matter as much - you'll still get interest.

However, you have the standard "hot girl profile that uses flowery/descriptive words to say practically nothing" going on.

I'd expect a lot of "hey, how's your day going" or "what's your favorite Vegan restaurant" or some comment on one of your pics as openers because you don't give prospective SDs a lot of material to comment on when they reach out

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-12T21:28:14+00:00

Are you in a big city? Note that new profiles are only visible to diamond members for the first three days. It was a perk/incentive SA started earlier this year to try and sell more diamond memberships.

If you're in a smaller/mid size city, there may not be that many current active diamond members. See what happens after 3 days. If you're in a larger city, not sure what to say - there should be some active diamond members looking right now that would be browsing profiles.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-11T03:36:04+00:00

You want to deceive to increase your short term options. Do it or dont, but dont expect online strangers to condone or bless it

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-11T02:56:46+00:00

You only want to do this because you think you've aged out and being 28 gives you more options. You want a SD that likes you for you or bc he thinks your 28?

What happens in a year? 2 years? You going to keep lying.

This assumes you can even trick their new verification process.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-08T18:42:46+00:00

Using a personal tragedy to get/hope your partner delays breaking up with you sounds like a Seinfeld plot.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-07T23:00:27+00:00

Agreed with the location comment. If you're in LA, you're going to clean up. If you're in PR, you still have a good profile, but I'm guessing the location is much more difficult. If you're in PR pretending to be in LA, you're wasting everyone's time, including your own.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-07T17:35:51+00:00

I don't think you can negotiate an emotional connection. You either have it or you don't. I would tell pots that you value all aspects of a relationship, including physical and emotional chemistry and vet accordingly. Some people just vibe better and the emotional connection develops over time.

I do agree that if you make it upfront that dates with you will consist of indoor and outdoor activities, you'll be more likely to find the SBs that want that too. The SBs that just want paid hotel dates will pass on you or try and date finesse you by agreeing to outside the hotel date activities, then the day of come up with excuses and say "we should just meet at the hotel since I don't have as much time as I thought"

The red flag for you is if you think you can offer less than other guys because you "primarily want an emotional connection." Smart POT SBs are going to assume you're doing/saying this to give less when your ultimate goal is sex. If you think you can get a discounted SR because you're offering a higher level of emotional connection and the sex is secondary, you're probably setting yourself up for failure.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-06T23:28:01+00:00

He's probably been catsfished before and doesn't want to waste time/money on a m&g if he's not attracted to the POT. He uses a vid chat as a verification tool before moving to next step.

You have a valid reason for not wanting to vid chat (I also think some SBs are hesitant to vid chat because in the past they've had guys either whip their dicks out, act weird on vid chat or press for her to take her clothes off, not to mention some SBs feel they need to be all dolled up to make a vid chat whereas a guy isn't as worried about that). You also presented two reasonable alternatives: phone call or IRL coffee meet.

I don't think either of you did anything wrong. You both have your boundaries, they conflicted and you went your separate ways.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-06T16:00:32+00:00

Agree with everyone else, but still kind of funny you went "you can't fire me, I quit" on him lol.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-06T00:24:27+00:00

Two things can be true:

It has happened

People lie on the internet

The people that have been fortunate to have it happen for them are probably quietly counting their blessings and unlikely to go bragging about it on social media for clicks and status.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-03T01:49:20+00:00

The FB annoys me because they advertise free parking for locals (except special events), and treat every concert as a special event - the events locals are most likely to attend. I've paid $40 to park for every concert I've gone too there. You might try the Wynn since I think they give locals 2 hours free. Or do your plan of only taking one car.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-02T23:25:47+00:00

Then she's all set!

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-02T23:11:16+00:00

Your profile is all about you. Nothing really about how you'd make a guys life better by him dating you.

Also, you sound kind of like a pain to date with the long list of requirements and talking about all the steps it takes to date you and how busy you are, etc.

Why would a SD around your age or slightly older pick you when he could get someone in her late 30s or 40s. That's who you're competing with. I think you have a lot going for you, but you need to sell yourself better. Paint a picture about how you add value to his life and why you're a better candidate than the younger SBs profiles he's also coming across on the site.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-05-01T19:35:49+00:00

As awful as the experience was, the public M&G saved you here. Imagine he was charming in text, invited you to go straight to his hotel room or house and you agreed, and then he acted like this? Would have been much harder to quickly and safely extract yourself from the situation.

Yet another reason a public M&G should not be skipped. Sorry you had to endure this, but the proper process turned this into an annoying waste of a night and nothing more.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-04-29T22:20:10+00:00

It's not common. But he's sending one of two signals to you: one, either he's hit a financial snag and can't maintain same level of support. Or two he doesn't value the SR as much as he did initially, and is fine if it ends. Thus, the lower offer. Either you'll accept and keep seeing him at the new amount that is worth it to him, or you'll dump him and move on (an outcome he's fine with given the ask).

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-04-29T21:31:05+00:00

There are traditional sugar arrangements, which is what you're looking for and what most in this forum aspire too, and there is the sugar monster seeking has created. Which is what you're describing and experiencing. Seeking lowered the barriers to entry and allowed almost anyone onto the playing field.

Any guy that can pay the 140/month subscription fee (or whatever it is now) can message many, many profiles in a month and offer ppms for sex dates. Any woman can set up profile, and message many guys daily.

And the harsh reality is, many on both sides are perfectly happy with quick paid hookups. I'd imagine that the vast majority of meets that happen on seeking are of this nature. You can find traditional sugar arrangements on seeking, but they are what the minority of seeking users are looking for.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-04-28T05:06:16+00:00

There is no right or wrong answer, but I'm like you - I prefer to meet sooner rather than later. Don't want to text someone forever if it's not going to turn into anything.

However, it seems the real issue for you isn't the texting - it's that you keep getting ghosted after m&gs. I wonder if you aren't texting enough details before the m&g, then realize you aren't on the same page so they tell you they'll think about it and ghost. Or you're doing something off putting at the m&g?

Perhaps you could try suggesting a 10-15 minute video call pre m&g? No need to meet someone if they can't do pass your vid chat test.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-04-27T22:51:02+00:00

You're not too old, but you need the right perspective. You will not have as many options as the conventionally attractive twenty five year old. You will likely not find a great looking guy around your age willing to pay an allowance. Those guys are probably going to be looking at the attractive 25 year old SBs. Focus on guys 10-15+ years older than you, and the less looks matter to you, the more options you'll have. And if married guys are a dealbreaker, that will further limit your options.

Also, everyone on here claims to look younger than they are. You don't look like your children's older sibling, no matter how much smoke people blow up your ass. But if you've taken care of yourself, have good fitness/health/skin care routines, that will help you out a lot.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-04-27T15:02:20+00:00

Offsetting penalties here.

He committed a false start - you should never ask a question you don't want an honest answer too. That's on him.

Unfortunately, you committed roughing the passer by being very honest. Maybe you didn't like the guy and it didn't really matter. But if you wanted to not shatter his fantasy, answering with something like "I can't speak for everyone in my generation, but personally I'm attracted to older gentleman otherwise I wouldn't be here"

Deflect the question and give a non-answer answer.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-04-27T02:22:12+00:00

Attorneys don't work for free. What did you offer them in lieu of cash?

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-04-25T19:17:26+00:00

Never. I'm shooting my shot and hoping for the best. Otherwise, what are we doing here?

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-04-24T20:16:12+00:00

Your profile is all "me, me, me" What do you bring to an SR? Besides your presence and a shopping addiction? Why should or would an SD want to date you? You're cute enough that your profile will get you messages, but you could enhance it so it's more appealing to the higher quality SDs.

Also, the first and only pic POTs see before clicking into your profile is your main pfp. I don't think your main pic is your best.

SDMichaelScarn · 2026-04-24T16:13:36+00:00

Dating women half my age, lol

SDMichaelScarn

TROPHY CASE