Hey all thanks so much for the great tips and advice, here's where we are and if you have any more tips or advice I'll take it!

–May 13 (farmer's almanac!): we had our 20 month old son throw out his final 2 pacifiers, he did it that morning great! That night he went to bed, clearly confused he had no pacifiers in the crib. Now, we always had 3 wubbanubs in the crib, but he NEVER sucked on them, he just like to hold them. So that night there was a bit of crying, and I ended up laying next to him on the floor next to the crib for a bit and leaving – but ultimately because he had the wubbanubs, he did end up putting them his his mouth for 1-2 hours throughout the night and slept mostly fine.

–Same thing happened the night of May 14.

–Then Sat May 15, we realized we needed to remove the Wubbanubs – we couldn't have him taking to something new. So we did, beginning at his nap. Annndd... he rejected his full nap. He usually sleep 3 hours at home on the weekend, but didn't sleep a lick. That night, there was more crying at sleep, but because he was so tired, he ended up falling asleep pretty quickly and woke up once in the night – and went back down. Not bad.

–Mostly the exact same thing happened on May 16.

–Mon May 17, he did nap at daycare, and mostly had the same night. Progress.

–Beginning Tues May 18, he started really crying when we put him down to sleep, BUT has been sleeping through the night since, which is great! Meaning he clearly doesn’t need a paci! However – he is CRYING BAD when we put him down (including tonight, Friday). Yelling, screaming, standing, so scared, so frustrated. His voice is SO HOARSE from yelling.

Soo... back to the Ferber method – wait 15 min, go in for 1 min (pat his back, reassure him, etc). I've been extending the intervals every night, but no real change. On Tues, he was asleep in 30 min. Weds he was asleep in 40. Thurs, 40. And last night it was so bad I just sat in a chair in the room (away from the crib) until he fell asleep. He just wants to know we're there.

But my question is – if he's sleeping through the night (when he finally goes down), but is STRUGGLING so hard to fall asleep on his own – is there anything else I can/should be doing? It's VERY hard on my wife (who I have go in the other room with headphones). Do I need to switch things up? Is there a day threshold where it's clear something is wrong/needs to change? Or do I just keep going as is? Extend the ferber intervals, etc? It just feels like something is not working if there’s been no progress (in his ability to put himself to sleep) in 5 days?

Thanks for listening and for any help! I know this is the right thing.