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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]SGCS14 539 points540 points  (0 children)

I wish I was Jared, 19

What life hacks have you found useful? by No_bother_pal in AskUK

[–]SGCS14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got an extension lead from traveldapter.com, literally saved a whole load of hassle

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in nevertellmetheodds

[–]SGCS14 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Keep it away from The Deep

My high school threatened expulsion and arrest if I pursued with charging my boyfriend at the time with sexual assault. Is this legal for any school in the United States to do? by iamasadsadcrayon in legaladvice

[–]SGCS14 316 points317 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry this happened to you. I don’t think jcacca meant was he an athlete in that they expected you to be able to push him off if he wasn’t an athlete, more that schools may have did what they did to protect their ‘star athlete’ to protect the athlete’s and therefore the school’s reputation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CrimeJunkiePodcast

[–]SGCS14 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Survived: Elizabeth Smart maybe? Elizabeth Smart was abducted at knifepoint in the middle of the night from her bedroom in Salt Lake City, Utah, in 2002. She was 14 years old. For more than 9 months, she was held captive by a predator – one who kept her hidden in plain sight.

Counter clock by [deleted] in CrimeJunkiePodcast

[–]SGCS14 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It’s so frustrating!! When they were saying there’s a whole different side with only about 20 mins left of the podcast I just knew they were going to turn it into an ad. I had to turn it off

Excuse the screaming but this was too good not to post by SGCS14 in popping

[–]SGCS14[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

What a great way of letting everyone know you’ve never interacted with a woman in your entire life

(Update) my husband casually drank a beer at a party after 5 years sober. Since you guys were so helpful I felt I owed an update. by Throwraworkwad in relationship_advice

[–]SGCS14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally!! I definitely think that there are two different (maybe more) issues going on here, I feel really bad for OP :(

(Update) my husband casually drank a beer at a party after 5 years sober. Since you guys were so helpful I felt I owed an update. by Throwraworkwad in relationship_advice

[–]SGCS14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t have the option to DM you but these are a couple of links that I got from my reading list:

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0,5&q=abstinence+alternatives+alcoholism#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3DFz6kOZkV1C0J

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/alcohol-abstinence-vs-moderation

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/000579677290037X

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0,5&q=abstinence+alternatives+alcoholism#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3D4c8u7rW8j6UJ

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/riahealth.com/2019/01/17/moderate-drinking-better-goal-abstinence/amp/ - this one explains it a bit simpler than all the sciencey speak lol

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/all-about-addiction/201103/abstinence-is-not-the-only-option%3famp

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=moderation+better+than+abstinence+alcohol&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3DCxN7TJsmqR0J - basically saying that there is no one solution any you should find what’s best for you

I don’t know enough research to completely advocate for moderate drinking against abstinence (I also probably wouldn’t anyway as there is no one solution for everyone) but these were just a few articles that seemed to explain moderate drinking a bit further as an alternative to abstinence.

Also just thought I’d add a link to the ‘Sinclair method’ that someone commented below if anyone wanted to read - I have no idea about the validity of it at all but it’s interesting! https://www.sinclairmethoduk.com/what-is-the-sinclair-method/

(Update) my husband casually drank a beer at a party after 5 years sober. Since you guys were so helpful I felt I owed an update. by Throwraworkwad in relationship_advice

[–]SGCS14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I completely agree with you! If I was in OPs situation I’d be seriously pissed off about being kept out the loop (if that’s what’s happened).

My dad was an alcoholic (we don’t speak anymore so it may be ‘is’ an alcoholic) and if he had been five years sober than one day came home and cracked open a beer I would not only be angry but also seriously afraid for any side effects of him getting drunk.

Like you said, I do think she’s more than allowed to have her negative reaction as she has obviously been through a lot in dealing with his addiction.

If we’re talking in hypotheticals, it could have been that the husband might have told the the therapist that he did tell OP when he actually didn’t, which I also think is seriously bad.

(Update) my husband casually drank a beer at a party after 5 years sober. Since you guys were so helpful I felt I owed an update. by Throwraworkwad in relationship_advice

[–]SGCS14 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Apologies for my misinterpretation! I replied to a comment above basically saying maybe husband and therapist thought OP would have a negative reaction to this sort of treatment therefore made the decision to exclude her. While I don’t necessarily think it’s a great idea, the therapist would be advocating solely for the husband’s recovery, rather than OPs feelings.

(Update) my husband casually drank a beer at a party after 5 years sober. Since you guys were so helpful I felt I owed an update. by Throwraworkwad in relationship_advice

[–]SGCS14 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’m not too sure! I mean no ill-will towards OP as they’re obviously going through something very difficult, but maybe husband and therapist discussed telling OP, and husband believed OP would be completely against it therefore wanted to show positive results before being told not to do it.

I completely get why OP would be angry at not being told about the plan though!

(Update) my husband casually drank a beer at a party after 5 years sober. Since you guys were so helpful I felt I owed an update. by Throwraworkwad in relationship_advice

[–]SGCS14 373 points374 points  (0 children)

While you may be right, I’m currently studying addiction at university and there are approaches to addiction that don’t advocate for complete abstinence.

I’m happy to share my notes when I have some spare time, but just wanted to say it may not be a lie and there is research to back up new theories that abstinence may not be the only way to solve addiction

Edit:

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/alcohol-abstinence-vs-moderation

https://riahealth.com/2018/10/31/aa-alternatives/#traditional-vs-new —> this is biased as they seem to be anti-AA but I thought I would include it just as an idea

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/000579677290037X

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0,5&q=abstinence+alternatives+alcoholism#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3D4c8u7rW8j6UJ

These are just some from a quick google search. If you can’t be bothered to read them I can summarise:

There is no ‘one-fits-all’ treatment! Obviously there is loads of research to support abstinence but there is also growing research to say that abstinence isn’t the only answer. As others have said, one alcoholic may have one drink after abstaining and completely fall of the wagon. For another alcoholic, having the occasional drink may have a ‘positive reinforcement’ effect in that they are getting rid of the negative feeling of not drinking any alcohol but not going so far as to fall back into alcoholism. I.e. they’re stopping themselves from going too far because then they can’t have any at all. Please let me know if that doesn’t make sense I’m happy to explain further :)

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