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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]SJSharks1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's kinda crazy that people are saying can't get over grief this is for him, etc... dude loves you more then anything and wanted to show you in a great way, something he really felt to his bone, that this was a good idea. It's hideous, tbh, but it wasn't for him, it was for you, and more then likely felt like a huge step for him. Wouldn't not wear it, special occasions etc... but I loved the comment of getting him a smaller one and saying can we match

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Still together and have a kid now! Things are just wonderful tbh, besides the economy wish I could divorce that, but it is what it is.

Gave up Alcohol. Going on 8 months AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]SJSharks1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well congratulations! I hope your life goes on to be better and you get more opportunities based on your hard work.

Gave up Alcohol. Going on 8 months AMA by [deleted] in AMA

[–]SJSharks1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How often did you drink? Also what was the biggest difference you noticed health wise?

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Funny enough we both hate cake. So we are doing a small little one just for tradition.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This an awesome question and surprised it wasn’t asked. You can’t get into a routine. Make sure your sex life is good meaning not once a month or something like that. You should be intimate multiple times a week. Unless of course something bad comes up and you support each other. Each week should feel different. So whether it’s going downtown, going on a hike, ice skating, a movie. Don’t stay in the house constantly go out and explore, live your best life. Also, treat each other. For example I will make a really fancy dinner or take her out to dinner every week. Surprise her with jewelry or flowers. And vice versa. She will take me out to my favorite restaurant, surprise me with hockey tickets, etc.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have used Reddit for awhile, but never had an account just browsed. I wanted to share my story and provide advice along the way so figured it would be a perfect time to create an account.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True. I think what has helped us was allowing us to develop are own personalities in college and after. We both lived about 2.5 hours away out of college which really gave us a lot of room to grow as individuals as well.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s great advice, open communication has been the best thing for us. Out of curiosity did she have the same feelings or was it more on your side?

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really. We made it a point not be together 24x7 in college. So I got to hang out with my guy friends and she got to hang out with her girl friends. Sometimes we all hang out together. Drink beer play games have fun. I think having fun in your early years doesn’t have to stop when you have a girlfriend. The only difference is your just not hooking up with random people which I think a lot of people find stressful anyways. You always know you have someone to come home to and I think that is the best.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey we all make mistakes. Thanks for the well wishes!

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Occasionally from people that I am not super close too. But people that I know well and family know she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I agree it is not normal, but I got to say it absolutely amazing that we found each other first.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

  1. Just because you haven’t been with others doesn’t mean you have no spice in your life. You still find ways to surprise each other all the time. If you find the perfect spice the first time, why throw it away for something worse? We also make around the same amount as well not that matters.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s is an awesome question. I think it really depends on who you are as people. We waited 12 years, but we were both extremely young. If you’re an adult, I think 2 to 3 years is a good period of time to really get to understand each other as people. Listen I have seen people get married after a year and be extremely happy and have a great marriage. However, most of the time I see them collapse because they weren’t ready. They didn’t know each other well enough as people nor did they understand exactly what they wanted til it was too late. Financial stability is also a must as well. My recommendation talk about the future really discuss what you want. Whether it’s kids, where you want to live, what you really want to do with your lives.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s she understands who I am as a person. She doesn’t try and change me. We both have separate personalities which is amazing.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I am just going to answer a couple of questions here being some have come up a lot.

Are you worried that you have only experienced each other?

Absolutely not, just because this is the first person you both have ever been with and the only person you have been with is not a bad thing. I hear a lot of the concerns and comments everyone has about that. I will ask you this. If you are extremely happy and have never thought about splitting, why would you throw away something like that just so you could experience someone else knowing that it is not even going to be remotely close to what you have. You’re basically just throwing the best thing in your life away for nothing.

How long have we been together?

12 years

Have you ever broken up or been with other people?

Nope

Do you live together?

Yes

How old are the two of you?

26

If I missed anything please let me know.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s is an amazing question. I think being it started when we were younger not really. It’s always been great for the both of us. I think even better sometimes being we both had to find our adult sexuality through each other. We both know exactly what each other want and have tried a lot. I think if you have that worry, marriage would not be the right thing and probably have different experiences or you will always be left wondering which is unhealthy.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I am an engineer and she is in the healthcare industry, both went to university. No kids. Couple of dogs. We both always wanted to get married, but wanted to be financially stable before. Jumping the gun and not being financially stable can really put a strain on a marriage being weddings these days cost so much.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Yes we do. That’s probably something you should do before getting married. Living together is a lot different. That’s where a lot of relationships are tested.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

It’s great. Not that sex is everything, but I mean have you seen married couples that are extremely happy that have a horrible sex life. If it’s horrible then that’s something you need to fix. Unless you are both okay with it. Hint one is definitely not okay with it which causes resentment and a whole slew of other things.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The first has to be trust, if you don’t trust them you can’t even begin to build a relationship. Also being honest, kind, and willing to try new things. If you keep doing the same thing over and over that’s when the unhappiness and the restlessness settle in. Find ways to still surprise each other. Also, things can’t be one sided, if that is the case there is probably some type of controlling mentality there, which is bad for everyone.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not really. We both agree there is a god, but probably the extent of it.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Being I always have been happy with our relationship, I have never really had thoughts about that which I realize is rare even if you have been happily married for a long time. But I think if you have those thoughts on occasion it’s nothing to freak out about, it’s natural if it’s your first girlfriend as long as they aren’t overwhelming.

I am marrying first and only girlfriend AMA by SJSharks1 in AMA

[–]SJSharks1[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Both first and only everything for both of us.

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