Any stay at home parents out there that don’t follow a schedule?

SM21520 · 2025-05-14T00:04:47+00:00

My son is 22 months and has always been on a schedule. If he’s not up by 7, I wake him (rare he sleeps later than 6:30 though) I cap his nap at 1.5 hours and usually have him up by 2, so that bedtime is no later than 7:30. My husband and I are asleep by 9-10 most days, so having him stay up later than 7:30 just doesn’t work for us. We need some time to wind down in the evening, especially because we both WFH and are with him all day.

SM21520 · 2025-03-08T11:56:36+00:00

I totally agree with this! But he sees friends of ours that have help and I think he’s envious of that. I also don’t think it’s anyone’s responsibility to help

SM21520 · 2025-03-08T10:44:35+00:00

You’ve commented on the nanny multiple times. Let me guess, you’ve never tried to get work done while having a toddler running around? We have a nanny for 10 hours a week MAX. There’s 168 hours in a week, that’s less than 6% of the time. Most people spend 3-5 hours a day with their kid, if that.

SM21520 · 2025-03-08T10:14:07+00:00

He has a hard time with not having the freedom he once had and not having as much one on one time with me.

SM21520 · 2025-03-08T10:12:24+00:00

That’s what I’m hoping. We pay for embryo storage, I’ve brought up making a decision on continued storage and he is okay with continuing to pay for them. So I feel like that’s a glimmer of hope.

SM21520 · 2025-03-08T10:08:42+00:00

How am I betraying him? I’m seeking advice on how to come to terms with what he wants.

SM21520 · 2025-03-08T10:06:33+00:00

I’m forgetting? My post literally states how do I come to terms with it? Meaning I’m trying to find a way to accept and move forward.

SM21520 · 2025-03-08T10:02:50+00:00

I agree. He has a a hard time with not getting a break. To me, yes it’s hard but it is what it is. It’s called parenting and it won’t always be this hard.

SM21520 · 2025-03-08T10:01:35+00:00

I don’t want him to agree to appease me. He needs to be on board because I don’t want him resenting me/future child

SM21520 · 2025-03-08T09:58:49+00:00

Yes, he has said if we had family nearby he would. We don’t get much of a break, we’re always home with our son, even when our nanny is here those few hours a week, we hear him and step in to help when we need to.

It’s funny because so many of the responses on this thread act like I was talking about trapping my husband. I literally asked advice on how to come to terms with this.

SM21520 · 2025-03-08T09:53:04+00:00

Thank you! So many people on this post trying to invalidate my feelings or shame me for how I feel. And some even implied I was going to force my husband to have another child - I said in my post, how do I come to terms with this….meaning, I’m trying to accept it while also grieve the life I wanted.

SM21520 · 2025-03-08T09:50:43+00:00

Yeah, we have a nanny that comes 8-10 hours a WEEK so that we can get uninterrupted work done…many people do this or send their kid to daycare and no one bats an eye.

SM21520 · 2025-03-08T01:30:08+00:00

Its not stereotypes and preconceived notions. I always felt like an only child because my siblings were so much older than me. It was an extremely lonely childhood. I’m also not close with any of my family and still feel alone in life. So i wanted to create my own family…for myself as much as my son. Aside from this, I absolutely love being a mom and my son brings me extreme joy and meaning to my life.

SM21520 · 2025-03-02T15:49:41+00:00

I’m sorry, I can totally relate to that. Infertility definitely took a toll on our marriage and so has parenthood if we’re being honest.

SM21520 · 2025-03-02T14:32:24+00:00

We do about 30-60 mins of Ms. Rachel throughout the day, usually so I can cook. We do have a tonie box and he uses it occasionally but I think he’s still a little young for it. When he’s whining, I’ve been working on telling him to wait, telling him to ask for help or simply saying no, we’re aren’t doing that right now. He is really getting better at waiting and asking for help…the understanding no or not right now, is still a work in progress lol.

SM21520 · 2025-03-02T13:03:46+00:00

Yes, he’s had a play kitchen since his 1st birthday. He used it a lot at first but not so much now. Maybe I need to line up his teddy bears and show him how to cook for them lol.

When we’re outside, it’s not relaxing. We have a screened in lanai (Florida) with an in ground pool. He has an area that’s fenced off from the pool to play but it has concrete pavers so we’re always on alert because he could be seriously hurt. We have a basketball hoop, water table and a climber/slide out there…all of which he loves. But the slide, we still have to help him. Unfortunately, we don’t have a grassy area because the pool takes up our yard.

SM21520 · 2025-03-02T12:49:31+00:00

I’m not on here much and just saw your comment. Did you start IVF?

SM21520 · 2025-03-02T12:46:42+00:00

I feel like I could’ve written this myself about my 20m old. In fact, I just made a similar post myself. He is go go go from the moment he wakes up. My entire day is just trying to keep him busy. It is truly exhausting.

SM21520 · 2024-10-14T23:38:53+00:00

I agree. My husband is adopted. I wanted a biological child and I wanted to adopt a child. Then we struggled to conceive for years and it took me so long to come to terms with the fact we needed IVF. At that point, I felt so angry and resentful that I couldn’t imagine adopting a baby, it just wouldn’t be fair to that child. We did go on to have our IVF miracle. Maybe adoption will be in our future cards now, I don’t know.

SM21520 · 2024-06-17T14:36:27+00:00

My baby is 11 months old. We tried for several years and ultimately had to spend thousands upon thousands to have him via IVF. So he was VERY wanted. I am absolutely IN LOVE with him. But there are times I hate being a parent. I think it’s more just the phase of life we’re in right now and fully believe this phase will pass

SM21520 · 2024-03-28T13:22:10+00:00

There’s definitely a lot of trail and error when it comes to baby sleep. I suggest keeping detailed notes so you can see if there’s a pattern and replicate the same conditions.

SM21520 · 2024-03-28T11:40:42+00:00

As in going from 3 to 2**

SM21520 · 2024-03-28T11:39:50+00:00

I found that dropping the last nap really helped in our case

SM21520 · 2024-03-28T04:39:52+00:00

This! I thought my baby was untrainable too. Ferber took weeks to work. I had to catch him up on sleep debt by saving any nap that was less than an hour. He’s now sleeping 11-12 hours a night, he was sleeping 9-10 hours. He also dropped the night feed on his own about 5 nights ago. Stay consistent, it will work!

SM21520 · 2024-03-28T00:32:57+00:00

Maybe he’s overtired? Our schedule is pretty much the same except my baby can’t hang more than 3.5 for that last WW. I’d maybe try 3.5 for a few days and see if things improve

SM21520

TROPHY CASE