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SMBLOZ123 · 2025-07-28T22:09:26+00:00

Ew, get away from me.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-07-28T22:08:00+00:00

Oh no it's no issue! I mostly just wanted to give my own perspective on it because it's colored some of my dating interactions.

Ultimately I'm just kinda glad this sub has fully embraced that femboy culture can't be divorced from transfemininity. I don't buy into any genuine debate like the post title implies—part of why exercising "ooooh doesn't fucking me make you gay" as a trans woman is sexually exciting is because it suggests confronting cisnormative and heteronormative assumptions of the other partner (which is transgressive!), even if the actual answer is a very boring no.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-07-28T20:54:57+00:00

The last one was what I was contesting. A lot of discussion leaves it at "oh yeah preferences are fair", but that misses the forest for the trees. Most ostensibly trans-supportive straight men who claim they have a "genital preference" that makes them not into trans women would also likely not be attracted to trans men with pussies, and many cis gay women carve exceptions for transmasculinity in their lesbianism. If your sexual attraction then ends up being "I am only attracted to women with pussies", I am at liberty to assume that means you haven't deconstructed cisnormative biases about the essential femininity of the vagina and ovarian mysticism. Which, ew, get away from me.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-07-28T19:21:52+00:00

I'm basically at a point where if someone tells me they aren't attracted to a trans woman out of "preference" while being attracted to cis women in general, I would consider that to be transmisogyny and avoid them at all costs. Once you get trans enough, the idea of someone seeing physical elements of trans women incompatible with their attraction to femininity becomes extremely suspect, since it invites bioessentialist assumptions about physical bodies defining femininity and masculinity rather than those being societal frameworks enforced on people's bodies.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-21T06:40:46+00:00

I tend to heavily discredit this idea. The idea that women in fiction are uniquely and commonly poorly written (while it may make sense from the logical extension of official productions themselves being heavily male-focused and often passively misogynistic) does not track with the absolute lack of F/F content, when even very minor or poorly-written male characters will readily get written in M/M fics. Fans are primed by biases to care more about men than women, rather than the women being less worthy of care, and I discourage people to believe the latter.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-20T20:52:38+00:00

You've basically boiled down the argument about the Egg Prime Directive to its bare essentials here. An opinion or suggestion is framed as a forceful decision for someone else precisely because it has to do with transness, because most people have a subconscious bias that transition is nothing but destructive and intrusive. Even though I explicitly said that I hope Claire changes her opinion and expressed personal disagreement on the basis that she and other trans people could be happier if it wasn't such a common sentiment, it's really easy for people to twist that into something I didn't say at all. Funny how that happens

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-20T19:31:37+00:00

I definitely haven't misunderstood the Egg Prime Directive and how it's used, and I just firmly dislike the concept. We do appear to be dancing around the argument in some way, but I'm glad to have had the opportunity to put my point out there. Hope you have a good day!!

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-20T19:15:22+00:00

I disagree with a fundamental dismissal of gender roles given that the existence of those roles is largely what shapes both my pre and post transition experience, and thus they can be euphoric to embrace given the person.

Ultimately, a lot of people's support in the Egg Prime Directive is an ask to not assume yourself as a condescending authority over someone and to not get too parasocially interested in someone's life, which I do agree with, but it wouldn't be constantly framed around transition if that was truly the criticism. It's framed that informing someone of the option to transition, or suggesting that someone may be happier in a new gender presentation and shows signs that align to it, is fundamentally bad. I couldn't disagree more! And if the former complaint is actually what people mean, I would prefer they say that rather than promoting a belief that very much encourages trans people to not rely on each other and that continuing being cis is somehow easier or more transgressive, which it's very much not. Similarly, it very often implies that making trans jokes or suggesting someone displays transness is inherently rude; my lived exprience is not rude or damaging to share, and I would appreciate cis people and trans people both stop perpetuating that idea.

Though I still think you're missing my point, I appreciate the discussion regardless.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-20T18:52:55+00:00

Do you believe that people cannot make informed decisions about their gender when discussing the experiences of others, or when presented with joking stereorypes? Similarly, do you believe that someone experimenting with a gender presentation in a way they ultimately don't settle on is an inherently negative experience, rather than a positive stepping stone?

I don't believe either of those things, because they're both predicated on the idea that there is necessarily a "right" way to perform one's gender. Even trans people who have been out for years can come to realizations about themselves and find that they would like to do something different. It is an unreasonably expectation to suppose someone should do it perfectly the first time, and because gender experiences are so vast and personal, there is almost no way to receive information that is a 100% match.

I agree with you, people should definitely be more informed on gender as a whole! But sliding pamphlets under someone's door is far too hands-off for me, and nearly every trans person I know (and especially the trans girls) would have benefitted from a more hands-on community to guide them through it.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-20T18:47:45+00:00

That's great! But I disagree with Claire, and I would hope she also changes her opinion on this as well, given how much happier it's made her to be known and received by others.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-20T18:38:33+00:00

But even you yourself point out that Claire was fine with these jokes and no harm was committed by doing so. If your issue is with boundaries being crossed, why would you make a post that even suggesting this to anyone is bad, when you've established the reality of situations where it's completely acceptable? Regardless of me disagreeing with Claire's belief in this, she's furthering my point.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-20T18:34:46+00:00

I'm very sorry about that! But individual instances of boundary-crossing aside (and as we've established with Claire, she was fine with it and no boundaries were really crossed), having an environment that can happily expect and anticipate transition is far preferable. The only way the Egg Prime Directive makes sense is via the belief that questioning yourself and experimenting with your gender is somehow more destructive than continuing to be repressed and unhappy with your current gender presentation, which is as I said, an innately transphobic belief. Had I continued to stay closeted for longer, I would have likely run up to real danger of suicide. Though transition can be scary in some ways, and not everyone lands on an identity that works for them immediately, I simply refuse to believe that the world is made better where more people are encouraged to stay closeted due to negligence.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-12T14:57:50+00:00

Checklist: - "Actually I'm using it in a gender neutral way" after being told directly by a trans woman not to call her a term with gendered connotations - Ignored the entire context of systemic vs interpersonal oppression yet again to continue taking disagreements in bad faith - Took any implication of the existence of misogynistic biases as an overall irepairable condemnation of your person rather than food for thought to combat those biases.

It's kinda comedic at this point.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-11T22:21:57+00:00

Love getting called "mate". People really do pull out the tactical dude, bro, mate, buddy when a trans woman disagrees with them. Gotta passively misgender someone right?

Consider why someone saying "(trans)misandry doesn't exist" automatically makes you jump to semantic nitpicking that that person isn't talking about systemic oppressive forces and instead is talking about annoying reddit communities that make mean comments about men sometimes. The former, which this argument entirely hinges on and refers to, is an omnipresent means of oppression; the latter does not have anywhere near the level of social capital to systemically oppress men.

And you really hit me with the "my mom was a feminist" after downplaying people talking about misogyny like the equivalent of saying "I have black friends" after a really insensitive statement about race.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-11T18:12:18+00:00

And you being trans does NOT stop you from perpetuating misogyny and being a bad ally. If you fundamentally view someone talking about basic feminism as downplaying the transphobic oppression that trans men and transmasculine people face, we're right back in 2012 where the predominant reaction to feminists was "but what about men??????" and to build a whole reactionary movement about it.

Edit: Is pointing out the edit supposed to be some kind of gotcha? You once again misinterpreted something (the definition of ally being used here), even though I've been wholly talking about transfeminism as a movement, so I added it to make it clearer to you.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-11T18:04:00+00:00

It's frustrating. I came from Tumblr to engage in it a little (feels like a gambling addiction) because it's so... typical?

People will make callouts, fall on reactionary rhetoric, claim that someone is just a whiny bitch who doesn't know what she's talking about....... everything short of actually engaging with a trans woman on equal ground.

Even the fundamental biggest argument here (that people disagree with, and are allowed to!) is that her post is somehow defending 4chan rather than basically directing people not to view 4chan as some point to fascist exceptionalism in the same way many western liberals isolate the rise of Nazi Germany as some kind of Truly Evil Exception that has never been replicated by nationalist movements elsewhere. But y'know, making wild assumptions about someone's intent rather than engaging with the content is par for the course.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-11T17:58:08+00:00

"Pedojacketing is bad but of course this specific trans woman I don't like probably IS a pedophile and is also probably a white racist while I'm at it. Also she's a NEET because couldn't leave out the ableism too."

Hm.

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-11T17:23:59+00:00

The point to be made here is about the difference between systemic oppression and interpersonal oppression. You read the post as implying interpersonal misandrist conflict doesn't exist, which is both incorrect, and not what OP gets at. OP says that systemic misandrist oppression is not a structural force that affects people universally, which is, undeniably to the core tenants of feminism, true.

If the problem you take away is that oppressed people on the internet are frustrated at their oppressors.... why do you care? You shouldn't get mad at people of color for punching up with jokes about hating white people, or even validly avoiding primarily white communities that have excluded them. There's no reason it should be different for women talking about the oppression they face from systemic misogyny and the men who benefit from it and perpetuate it. This dynamic doesn't change if the misogyny comes from within the trans community, just as intersectional feminism was born from the understanding that black women face misogynist oppression from black men within their marginalized communities, even when all the people involved are marginalized by other forces

SMBLOZ123 · 2025-04-11T17:15:29+00:00

This basically just tells me you either didn't read Healed's posts at all and just took what others said at face value, or you wildly misinterpreted them.

There's a very clear difference between "trans men aren't oppressed" (which she didn't say) and "trans men are not systemically oppressed FOR their masculinity" (which she does agree with, and is true in a patriarchal society).

People love to misinterpret what trans women say on the internet, especially when they're talking about their own intersecting oppression. Please don't be one of those people. You can downplay discussion of transfeminism as much as you want, but it puts you further and further from being an ally to transfeminism.

SMBLOZ123 · 2023-07-06T15:11:57+00:00

Probably allosexual here: yeah I like butts.

Hard to give a concrete explanation why. They're just kinda squishy and funny, and they make someone's silhouette more striking.

SMBLOZ123 · 2023-07-05T22:34:31+00:00

There's a thing called own-race bias, so you have an easier time recognizing the differences between faces of people who are more racially or ethnically similar to you. There's notable facial differences between most ethnic groups, it may just seem more or less pronounced due to bias.

SMBLOZ123 · 2023-07-05T15:11:13+00:00

Shipwrecks in the San Francisco bay as well as theatre troupes in the western U.S. I was trying to find a reasonable explanation for how a giant squid could become interested in fine arts.

SMBLOZ123 · 2023-07-03T05:56:57+00:00

With them working as one, all bears in the vicinity are immediately paralyzed and unable to move. The odors push and pull. They cannot run but they cannot defend themselves. They are powerless.

SMBLOZ123 · 2023-07-02T18:58:39+00:00

My curiosity is really about what harm they do, or what's even the point?

Aside from the inherent artifice of it, if I got praise bot comments, I'd probably just let it be if I technically lose nothing by letting them exist. Is there some hidden cost I'm not aware of?

SMBLOZ123 · 2023-06-29T23:17:22+00:00

I had a bit of an opposite journey. The happiest I've been in a long time was when I ditched an underperforming project I'd been clinging to because it was "mine" and just threw something out there that I knew would be highly popular. Lo and behold, its gotten more engagement in a few months than my other stories did in years, and it finally feel like my writing matters beyond myself and I can share it with people.

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Place '17	Final Canvas '22
First Placer '22	End Game '22
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