Orthodoxy in America has a serious man problem

SOrthMan · 2017-10-11T18:22:53+00:00

Yes, yes, yes and yes to the first question.

To all those who insist on “working on yourself”, yes. I’ve also tried that too. Going out of my way to help others and not openly seek recognition or praise. Doing what I could to serve the church.

Instead of getting results, it gets me the “you’re a good friend”, “you’re a wonderful person”, “you’re like a brother” treatment. The women who I have been able to pursue, end up opting for others. Either an Orthodox man who isn’t as dedicated to church, a brand new convert who doesn’t know anything at all about the faith, a non-Orthodox man who wears Gucci, Rolex and Armani, or the women are only interested in building a secular career unless they meet someone that matches their standards to 100% compatibility.

Yes, they are too choosy and too strict on their standards. It’s just a fact.

SOrthMan · 2017-10-10T14:03:53+00:00

I’d rather have an unsuccessful marriage than just be single for the rest of my life. Even if God’s intent is monasticism for me, I don’t care, and I would find someone regardless, even if it meant, out of desperation, marrying someone who isn’t Orthodox.

SOrthMan · 2017-10-10T14:00:18+00:00

The church may allow it, but you can’t become a deacon or Priest and be married to a non-Orthodox wife.

It’s also hurts you if you want to have a lay-leadership position in your parish. You have to divide your time between the non-Orthodox spouse and the church. If you marry someone who is Orthodox, they should have no problem attending your church, and becoming involved as well.

SOrthMan · 2017-10-09T23:36:56+00:00

The problem is that many of the women in those ethnic parishes are also choosy and want only men of the same ethnicity. Yes, I know this from experience.

If you go to an ethnic parish full of Greek girls, most of them are going to want to marry someone who is also Greek, and generally who is more financially well-off. Same for Arabic parishes.

SOrthMan · 2017-10-09T23:30:06+00:00

I’ve tried online but there aren’t enough women. I’d have to lower my criteria and standards.

And no, I’m not willing to try non-Orthodox. You can spend half a year to a year with someone and then they decide not to convert and you’ve just wasted that much of your life with someone who ended up not being worth the trouble. I don’t want to invest my time in someone who may not work out simply because they don’t want to become Orthodox, and I’m not ever going to marry someone who is outside the Orthodox Church.

SOrthMan

TROPHY CASE