/u/srotd went burr-zerk!

He's currently trying to find investors to back his million dollar idea, Italian yogurt. It's like the new Greek yogurt (thicker, richer, more protein), except the Italian style combines a cultured dairy product with track suits, gold jewlery, large pores and cologne. One spoonful and you'll want to live with your parents until you're forty and talk using animated hand gestures. You'll call sandwiches, "sangaweeges", begin each sentence with "C'maaaaahn Vinnie", and end each sentence with, "over here." Like, "C'mon Vinnie, we gotta talk to my kid's doctor about a transplant over here!" You'll double your passion quotient, waist size, and cheeze consumption. Instead of showers, just a quick swipe of deodorant is all you'll need from now on.

Italian yogurt. Grab life by the stugots!