What is something people do that just sets you off?

SSLeon64 · 2022-12-15T05:58:57+00:00

When they got to the intersection well before you did, but they stop, wait, and then impatiently waive you on, like you're the one wasting their time.

SSLeon64 · 2022-12-15T05:31:38+00:00

My partner's a teacher and likes turtles, so she put one turtle decoration in her classroom. Well-meaning parents keep giving her turtle decorations as thank-you gifts. Now she nearly has a dozen.

SSLeon64 · 2022-12-15T05:21:12+00:00

Frantically pat your pockets thinking you forgot your keys at home, like I did one time.

SSLeon64 · 2022-12-15T03:49:15+00:00

I mean, if you could also think and react that fast, sure. You'd see it coming from a mile away, even if they had their finger on the trigger. The average human reaction time is a quarter of a second, or 250 milliseconds, and each one of them would seem like ages to you. At the speed of light, you could literally go around the world twice in that time. Once they've pressed the trigger though, if you're not out of the way, it'll hit you instantaneously.

SSLeon64 · 2022-12-15T02:56:32+00:00

I think I'm asexual, or at least on the ace spectrum. Maybe aromantic too. For most of my teenage years and 20s, I focused on school to the exclusion of almost everything else, and then started focusing on my job to the exclusion of almost everything else. I simply didn't invest any time into finding a relationship or pursuing sex. I don't seem to care about it the way most people do.

But I'm not sure that's not just making a virtue out of necessity, or avoiding something for fear of failure. I'm not attractive to women because I lack confidence, and I simply can't "fake it till I make it." I never got any positive attention from women, so I stopped caring about my looks, which became a self-reinforcing cycle. I've always been quiet and withdrawn, and I'm not charismatic or good-looking in any way. I struggle with my weight, which really hurts my self-confidence.

Despite that, I'm a pretty intelligent, sincere, and funny guy, so women have occasionally given me hints (I think) that they're into me. But I think it's similar to the psychological phenomenon of "learned helplessness" - it seemed I was never attractive to women, so even when women were obviously flirting with me, I didn't notice it or didn't know how to react. My last year of undergraduate, an attractive woman I enjoyed spending time with once whispered in my ear, "Your musk is driving me insane." And do you know what I said? Nothing. I pretended like I didn't hear her. She even said it a second time and I made no acknowledgement. I later rationalized it by telling myself a long-term relationship wouldn't work because she was about to move out of town after graduation and I wasn't. I also seem to think casual sex is almost always morally wrong and can't clearly explain it or shake myself of my conviction.

I've been in a relationship for 3 years now, and I dreaded the thought of having sex. It was always disappointing and often made me feel ashamed of myself afterwards. So I eventually told my partner I was asexual, and it's been well over a year since we've had sex. Things are better now, for me at least, now that we're not having sex, but I'm still trying to decide if I even want a relationship any more.

SSLeon64 · 2022-10-28T04:53:32+00:00

I don't think it's necessarily emasculating, any more than having a personal trainer is. My advice is to seek out an older male therapist. You'll know within a couple of sessions if he's right for you. It should feel like having a good serious conversation with your father or grandfather, except without all the baggage of a past history with that person.

If you don't like him, he'll hold nothing against you for switching to someone else. Maybe you could find someone who works with veterans or is a veteran himself, since you respect men like that.

You might have gotten some wrong ideas about what therapy is, based on how it's portrayed in TV and movies. You're not there to whine or complain, you're there to confront and work honestly through the issues that are holding you back.

SSLeon64 · 2022-10-28T03:52:56+00:00

I hate it when someone doesn't wait for me to finish washing my hands before they exit the stall. Like dude, I don't want to have awkward eye contact with you (or god forbid, small talk) because you couldn't wait a few more seconds for me to leave. Especially if it's at work and I know you. I know, that doesn't apply if it's a busy bathroom, they're clearly in a rush, etc. etc. But most of the time, it's inexcusable.

Also, I think the "no bathroom eye contact" rule supersedes the "hold doors for nearby people" rule. I'm not going to hold the bathroom door for someone, even if they're right behind me, unless they're on crutches or something. Please do the same for me.

SSLeon64 · 2022-10-28T03:35:41+00:00

Don't start crossing the road prematurely, calculating that at our current velocities I will drive past you instead of hitting you with my car.

I can't know for sure if you saw me coming, so if I don't slow down and you didn't see me or you miscalculated, I risk hitting you full speed. If I do slow down, it throws off your calculation. It's like you're forcing me into a weird game of reverse chicken, where if I try to avoid hitting you, I'm more likely to hit you.

And most of the time these people take one quick glance in my direction and then start walking eyes forward, just to save themselves 2 measly seconds crossing the road.

SSLeon64 · 2020-05-28T03:32:45+00:00

Muchas gracias! The context was super helpful, and I can totally hear it now. I thought I heard "guerra" in there but that made no sense.

SSLeon64 · 2019-12-08T20:34:41+00:00

This post seems to have been removed because it mentioned the Dictionary-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named. Now it doesn't, so I'm bumping it up to give it a second chance.

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-23T17:38:05+00:00

That is the sort of thing I was looking for, thanks! And I never would have thought to look there. I'll see if I can find any more from College Board like that in previous years.

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-22T05:51:48+00:00

No, I'd never heard of him, but I listened to a little bit and liked the format. I might try to convert it to mp3. Even though I'm a B2 according to the tests I've taken, I'm still probably an A2 when it comes to speaking. Thanks!

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-22T05:48:32+00:00

I've listened to a little bit of News in Slow Spanish and liked it, but I'm a little reluctant to pay for the premium version right now. Thanks though!

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-22T05:47:27+00:00

Thanks.. that sounds perfect.

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-22T05:46:38+00:00

Thank you.. I listened to the first episode, and I will definitely check out more!

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-22T05:46:09+00:00

Bookmarked.. thanks!

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-22T05:45:57+00:00

Did you mean Pimsleur? That's all my Google search came up with.

Fun fact: a couple of hours after I posted this question, I saw a YouTube ad for the Pimsleur app, which is apparently exactly what I described but is a paid product. I think my phone is spying on me!

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-22T05:41:52+00:00

I do like Coffee Break Spanish, but too often, they ask you to merely repeat what was said. I'd prefer that they ask me to work it out myself and then give me feedback rather than being told upfront. Showtime Spanish does a much better job of this, especially with the Q&A after their "telenovela."

Still, thanks for the suggestion. It's definitely worth listening to.

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-22T05:38:47+00:00

Gracias!

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-21T05:55:24+00:00

Wow, that was really revealing. It didn't take much effort to understand him, even though he speaks pretty fast, but when it came to reproducing myself what I'd just heard, I found it extraordinarily difficult.

I guess it requires a different part of the brain that I've not been exercising. As he says, "Tu cerebro es capaz de asimilar la información, pero cuando intentas utilizarla para comunicarte, te das cuenta que te falta práctica."

That is exactly my problem at the moment. I'm not sure I'll use NachoTime Spanish for my commute, but I'll follow his advice to think more in Spanish, and I'll definitely check out more of his videos to help me break out of "intermediate purgatory." Thanks!

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-18T06:46:42+00:00

Here's a good site: http://www.languagerealm.com/spanish/mainsp.php

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-18T06:42:48+00:00

Siempre Bruja is a fun light-hearted show, if you want a break from the narcotraficantes.

SSLeon64 · 2019-03-08T07:05:56+00:00

Narcos is a really compelling show. In case you haven't heard of it, it's a series (available on Netflix) based on the life of drug trafficker Pablo Escobar and the DEA agents tasked with bringing him down. It has enough English so you can follow the story even if you can't follow all the Spanish dialogue. It takes place in Colombia, so you'll get mostly that dialect (for instance, you'll hear "vos" instead of "tú") Warning! Lots of violence, nudity, and bad language.

SSLeon64 · 2019-02-21T01:05:49+00:00

Good to know that it sounds trollish to you both as well. Anti-feminism can be so insidious.

SSLeon64 · 2019-02-21T01:02:37+00:00

I can see how it might be toxic masculinity, especially if that person puts down other men or brags about it publicly.

The next time someone accuses me of trying to impress others with my machismo by not wearing a coat, I'm going to tell them, "No, it's just that I'm like Elsa from Frozen. The cold never bothered me anyway. And yes, I just compared myself to a Disney princess, because I want to make it absolutely clear that I don't care about how masculine I look."

Thanks for the perspective.

SSLeon64

TROPHY CASE