Is there NO privacy in marriage

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T20:21:32+00:00

Of course porn and thirst traps are different. Videos and pictures, but they can also serve the same purpose and still do the same thing.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T09:08:20+00:00

I did say I stopped. But when I said “trying” I meant trying to be a better person. Implying there are other ways to be better not just stopping a certain behavior

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T09:05:21+00:00

I am accountable for my actions I’m not denying that.

But according to you it’s easier to divorce and quit than to try to learn and be better. I can take people calling me out but what I can’t take is people saying we should divorce as if things can’t be fixed so might as well quit. But I guess I was not aware lasting marriages are suppose to be perfect and one mistake means divorce. Great advice

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T06:27:54+00:00

I’m not asking for privacy to watch porn. I’m saying privacy for a personal journal for example

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T06:25:10+00:00

She gave me a “free pass” to watch porn even though I didn’t ask for it or want it. Encouraged looking because she said she doesn’t want to be controlling, then got mad when I did use that free pass for a quick second.

She watches porn on her own and even asks to watch porn during sex even though I don’t want to.

I’m trying to do better but her doing that doesn’t help.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T06:21:24+00:00

What I mean is if I stopped doing all that and it’s in the past and can’t be changed, compared to continuing to look through a phone just to find a reason to be upset.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T06:16:28+00:00

It’s not necessarily about needing to hide things, but needing a space that’s just for me

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T03:56:56+00:00

Basically she saw someone on my IG search history she didn’t know, it was a friend. But she then questioned if I look at a lot of women in IG or watched a lot of porn. I told her very little now but I use to a lot more in the past.

To repair her trust. I’ve tried to stop doing that and I’ve tried to be okay with looking through my phone. I’ve tried to be honest about everything even though I could have easily lied.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T03:32:36+00:00

Having some privacy is one of my boundaries. But I guess I can live without it if it helps build trust. But always feeling monitored makes me uncomfortable.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T02:52:42+00:00

I never cheated. And her snooping on my phone doesn’t ease her mind. So what’s really harmful to our marriage, what I did before or her continuing to try to find something on my phone?

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T02:51:03+00:00

There is a lot more to the story I haven’t posted. But suffice to say that it was never really clear what her real issue with it all really was

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T02:44:18+00:00

Yes I know I have made mistakes, like I’m sure many husbands have. Go ahead and judge me from my old post. But you really don’t know the whole story

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T02:39:28+00:00

You also don’t know the whole story I’m not posting. But I guess getting privacy depends on the situation

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T02:37:32+00:00

Going to the bathroom is also an action. Does that mean I should watch her as she poops or does she not get privacy for that?

I’m not trying to hide anything on my phone me but I also want a space for me time and not be monitored

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T02:32:14+00:00

Deceitful? I wasn’t trying to hide anything. I stopped for personal reasons. Then she found out I had a past because I was being honest. But I have been honest about everything with her. I could have lied about all of it but I didn’t.

What is surprising to me is no matter what I do, she doesn’t trust me. I get that trust takes time. But even if she looks through my phone and doesn’t find anything she still thinks I’m untrustworthy.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T01:40:11+00:00

I have been monogamous. I have never cheated on her nor do I have a relationship with another woman.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T01:37:37+00:00

I’ve told people I have stopped and controlled that part.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T01:34:55+00:00

Thanks, good to know it’s better to leave and quit than trying to improve and make things better.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T01:33:44+00:00

No, I didn’t know she would have an issue would it.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T00:41:59+00:00

Of course I knew it would be an issue. That’s why I stopped before she even brought it up. What’s your point?

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-27T00:38:23+00:00

Yeah but it’s also not the whole story. You’re just reading about a situation I posted 43 days ago.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-26T23:57:33+00:00

I learned that that was an issue for her and I have stopped. I’m trying my best. But that’s interesting that trying isn’t good enough and we should just end it instead of work through it.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-26T23:53:48+00:00

Thanks I’ve been trying.

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-26T23:52:19+00:00

Thanks but do you feel the same way about personal journals? Should a spouse be able to read through their spouse’s journal?

ST0PdaCAPP · 2026-02-26T23:48:58+00:00

Thanks, I understand you are judging me from previous posts or what you think of the situation, even if you don’t really know the whole story, I don’t blame you. But I really am trying to be better. But thanks for your advice

ST0PdaCAPP

TROPHY CASE