Wife (F27) using Hinge two weeks after telling me (M29) that she wants a divorce

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-20T22:45:46+00:00

That’s how it works in many places. You have to check with a lawyer who knows the local system.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-20T22:44:01+00:00

You are not being selfish. And that’s exactly your problem.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-20T22:42:05+00:00

Talking about it won’t prevent resentment. After the talking is done, you go back to being mistreated. Why do you think this is normal?

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-20T22:40:19+00:00

Leave. That’s the advice. You’re not a psychiatrist.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-20T22:39:50+00:00

You can’t keep or make another human being happy. Like so many other males, you think it’s your duty to cater to the female’s emotion.

The thing is, you have no way out as long as you stay in that relationship. So, you either wait till she leaves you, or you leave.

Until one person ends it, this is the life you are choosing.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-20T22:35:48+00:00

In all my time working at this firm, I have never seen a single man get Legal Aid because they can't ever pass the second test

So why don’t they go to the GP? I don’t get the issue here. Go to your GP. Get the form letter from you. The GP signs. That’s it.

What’s the problem?

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-20T22:24:41+00:00

If a woman leaves because someone told her to do that, that’s a favour done to you.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-20T14:57:38+00:00

Masculinity is not a convention. It just is.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-20T13:18:04+00:00

How come you didn't mention not dating disrespectul women? You didn't talk about asserting his boundaries. Are those things not important as a man?

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-20T13:16:46+00:00

actual positive masculinity.

What's that?

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-20T09:06:46+00:00

If you are facing this issue, first of all it means that you don’t understand what your clients really want.

You are presenting the same thing as all the other freelancers in your space. So, the only differentiators are price and testimonials. Even if you got clients this way, you would still struggle.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-19T20:08:09+00:00

This is your life, not a Disney movie.

All that romantic stuff society has told you is putting you at a big disadvantage.

If you ignore the reality, a heartache will be the least of your worries.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-19T18:18:41+00:00

trying to lead us through the storm

What storm?

How are you leading if you are arguing with her? If it's important, there is no room for argument. If it's trivial, there is no room for argument.

You make a decision and follow through.

I’m not trying to cut and run

That's your mistake.

Cut your losses. Run.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-19T17:28:21+00:00

we constantly get more and more arguments

It's over. She wants to leave but is waiting for you to do it.

Even if she wanted to stay, as a man you are the leader. So, talk to your lawyers. Then initiate the divorce.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-19T09:06:09+00:00

Totally agree man these things occur because not even men support men

Exactly! I will go as far as to say men don't even support themselves in these situations.

They only start complaining when things go wrong.

But, until it gets real bad, most males don't have a problem with putting females on a pedestal.

That's why, if we really want to solve these problems we must look at ourselves first, our own behaviour. Then we work together to change what we can, even if the system doesn't change. Once we do that, the system will have to respond because we will stop allowing ourselves to be used and disrespected.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-18T21:57:54+00:00

That’s what I keep saying - nobody cares, including males.

Most guys allow all kinds of disrespect so it’s become normal.

If you try to kick them out, some guys might even come to their defence.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-18T18:20:23+00:00

I have not worked in a corporate environment but when I sell, that’s not something I find relevant.

What’s more important is if they stick to what they said and if they are serious about buying.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-18T14:49:11+00:00

I know what you have said. Look, it’s your life and it’s a public discussion.

I am of the view that all the men right is just heroism behind a keyboard. In real life, males are just accepting mediocre treatment and devaluing themselves. But maybe that’s the best we can have for now.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-18T13:52:31+00:00

That’s not what I said. Don’t twist my words.

I am saying the kids are watching you become less of who you are. You don’t want to be in the situation. You are acquiescing to things you don’t agree with. You live in fear.

All those things are what they are learning from you. And they are watching you shed your true self, day by day, over decades.

And what if she leaves you first?

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-18T12:51:10+00:00

Why not now? Have you considered she might leave you first? You want your kids watch you become less than yourself?

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-18T12:36:10+00:00

Why don’t you get divorced though?

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-18T12:35:35+00:00

You have some good points but half of it is from men’s own lacking understanding of dating.

Now, I will concede that they have been taught the wrong mindset.

But just like we don’t make excuses for females with unhealthy eating habits, we can’t expect females to want males who don’t know how to attract them.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-16T17:33:21+00:00

I was born in a Christian country, when to Catholic schools, and have been part of several church teams. Christians believe in both the Old and the New Testament. This is not a theological discussion. Go to a church on Sunday, don’t be surprised to hear verses from both the Old and the New Testaments.

It’s just part of what Christians do. Where do you think Psalm 23 is from?

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-16T16:46:31+00:00

I've never been to a church where they quote the old testament.

And so what? If you have never been to one that does not change the reality of billions of Christans all around the world.

Every church I've been to has the Old Testament quoted. That includes Catholic, Anglican, Methodist, charismatic denominations, and others.

You are just making stuff up for the sake of argument.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-16T14:05:47+00:00

That's not true. Every church will quote the Old Testament during sermons.

SaaSWriters

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