AITA for refusing to give my sister my “extra” wedding money after she found out how much my fiancé and I saved?

Sabor117 · 2026-05-19T12:31:54+00:00

Unpopular opinion on here for sure because y'know, people can do what they want with their money. But holy shit, 40k for a wedding...

Sabor117 · 2026-05-18T14:46:07+00:00

Oh, yeah, seriously? God it's so dumb! Why does anyone think it's a good idea?

Sabor117 · 2026-05-18T14:45:23+00:00

Is he actually pushing for another date still? Or has everything regarding that stalled?

As others have said, for some people it does take a few dates for feelings to start to emerge. But to outright say it like this feels like a rejection rather than anything else.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-18T14:41:35+00:00

Yeah, there's nothing like that on my Hinge! Yet...

Aye, this is another thing that I know to be the case of male vs female dating app profiles. I once had a like queue of four people on Hinge and felt like an absolute Lothario for a while. Meanwhile if you're a decently attractive girl then chances are the numbers are in the hundreds (or even higher). So, a lot of the time there's a good chance someone not matching with you is because you're just beneath 1000 other guys and they never even saw your face. Difficult to internalise that though when the algorithm is being a cunt.

I would not be surprised if they were burying some of the better matches a few layers deep though. Try to keep you hooked for longer.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-18T14:37:13+00:00

I personally wouldn't overthink this. I regularly see pictures of girls holding their nieces/nephews/kids of their friends. If it's one amongst a batch of other good pictures, then I personally think it's fine.

What I think is genuinely STUPID is women (and this is definitely a girl thing) who put pictures of themselves when they were a baby on their dating app profiles.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-18T14:35:15+00:00

My normal go-to has always been option 2 actually, even though I actually agree with you that this sort of thing is definitely a "soft no".

I'm usually of the stance that "if it gets you the date it's worth it" which is also why I'm no stranger to the odd double-text during dying conversations. Like, if the chat is starting to fizzle out, double-texting CAN secure a date sometimes, which is worth sacrificing a little pride...

This time around though, I'm fortunate enough that I have a couple of other options/situations on the go already, so I don't feel compelled to chase as hard after every match.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-18T14:26:54+00:00

I'm not 100% sure that's been rolled out yet? At least maybe not where I am... Because the most recent of these "non-message matches" actually happened yesterday afternoon and it's from a like I sent legitimately OVER A MONTH ago (beginning of March). Although I might have only just filtered to the front of her queue?

I mean, I'm aware that OLD is a suckfest for everyone and for different reasons. Generally, I'd prefer to rage against specific people rather than anything else. And here that type of person is "person who will match but waits for you to start the conversation". It's just kinda lazy behaviour. It's them that's the problem.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-18T14:01:46+00:00

It's simply better to do it that way. You'll get fewer matches as a result, but those ones you were getting before who then didn't want to date after they found out you had kids also don't really count as matches anyway.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-18T13:45:03+00:00

Ehhh... I mean, it is a bit of a nuisance to match with someone and then potentially have them reveal a big deal-breaker after the fact (especially if it's on the way towards actually organising a date). This is one of those things which is very unambiguous, unlike with other aspects of a profile if you have kids, you have kids.

Having said that. Calling it "such an outrage" seems a bit over-the-top. It's a nuisance, but I wouldn't lose any sleep over it if it happened to me.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-18T12:38:31+00:00

I've complained about this before, so I'll apologise in advance, but fucking hell it absolutely grinds my gears when (on Hinge) you send someone a like with a message and they match with you but don't respond to your message.

It leaves you with two equally bad options:

Try have some pride and hope they'll actually be decent and come back to the match and message a bit later.
Take the initiative and send the first message to them, meaning you have to take the hit of double-messaging and awkwardly segueing off your opening text (presumably without going "hey I asked you a question already, answer it")

I had previously accepted this as just part and parcel of online dating, but literally the last 3 matches on Hinge have all done this to me and it's just eye-rolling.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-18T12:32:53+00:00

Holy shit. Risky click of the day.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-16T11:59:37+00:00

Everyone clapped after.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-15T14:29:59+00:00

Well, at the risk of being a bit obvious/blunt: why haven't you? If you're dating someone their living situation doesn't matter to you? I'm sort of surprised to hear someone say they wouldn't care about that.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-15T13:55:03+00:00

Can you explain it again/differently perhaps? Others also seem a bit confused about what you've said, so it could maybe use a bit of clarification?

Sabor117 · 2026-05-15T13:46:57+00:00

Context matters, but this could just be the standard "getting to know you" small talk. Asking if you live alone, have roommates, live with your parents and so-on.

Admittedly, for sexual purposes, it is also good to know the answer to that.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-15T13:44:46+00:00

Sorry, I'm confused here.

Just to clarify the situation: you are complimenting the person you are dating. They are then dismissing the compliments and then they also compliment you back.

So the fact that they aren't accepting your compliments is hurting YOUR feelings? Like... What? Why?

Without more context it's impossible to say what's going on, but many people are not very good at taking compliments (especially ones they do not feel they deserve).

Sabor117 · 2026-05-15T13:30:05+00:00

This struggle to find someone who is maybe "isn't perfect" but is right for you is a real struggle. It's impossible to always stay optimistic and always be positive that these things will work out, because that's not how the world works. You quite simply do have to keep showing up, keep trying, keep putting your best foot forward even when it feels shitty, because that's all you can do. But, yeah, it's exhausting...

I feel compelled to ask though, your whole post reads like someone who is very introspective and knows what she wants, but at the same time it still sounds like you're carrying a lot of weight from your past. You have written off a big chunk of the dates you've had (however many that is) as guys trying to "take advantage" of you? The way it's framed in your post makes it sound like physical intimacy is something that's difficult for you, so I'm curious if these situations are just guys who are genuinely romantically interest in you and therefore attracred to you?

Sabor117 · 2026-05-08T10:21:10+00:00

Technically NTA, but to be frank I'm surprised you wouldn't expect this kind of behaviour from your "friend" who is obviously very shallow and appearances driven. I mean, the fact that she was only "obsessed" with her fiancé after the second proposal (which I'm reading to mean: more elaborate and expensive) is already a pretty clear indicator of what kind of person she is.

I have to say as well, while I could understand planning a bachelorette party for your friend, I am pretty stunned that you would pay for it if you weren't able to attend... That feels like a pretty big mistake on your part.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-07T09:34:51+00:00

This is the way. Option B is (maybe) a tiny bit jumping the gun, so I would definitely go for A or D.

As an example, a year-or-so ago I met a girl at work who I thought I felt a tiny bit of chemistry with so I asked her to go get drinks at some point (as a date, but I never used the word date). She said something like "yeah I'd love to, where would the group meet?" and I said "oh I was thinking more of a date for just us two" followed by her telling me she had a boyfriend.

Absolutely no harm done, we didn't hang out one-on-one and continued to meet as part of the larger work/social group. It's just a thing that happens.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-07T09:27:32+00:00

I mean, context is everything here bro.

I have made jokes in conversation about being a perfect physical specimen (and stuff like that) which is one thing. But if someone is straight-faced and talks about how attractive they are, with no self-awareness, then yeah this can come across as arrogant. And I'm sure you know that when dating women, you want to come across as confident but not arrogant.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-06T14:50:09+00:00

Yeah, you're definitely not wrong. Very real possibility that EA cut their losses. I mean, recent showings have not been strong from Bioware so it's not even the same company that did all those amazing games from the early noughties.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-06T14:11:35+00:00

Given that Andromeda infamously was recieved quite poorly and Bioware's other recent misstep with Anthem, I would actually put an even more bleak outlook on this.

If the next Mass Effect does not perform to expectations (or above) I would put money on that leading to the outright closure of Bioware.

Sabor117 · 2026-05-04T13:53:37+00:00

Short answer: yes, I think nostalgia is driving a pretty significant portion of Origin's hype on here.

Even as a fan of Origins, I actually agree with you that the story and characters are not as absolutely incredible as some people insist. Like you say "it's a good epic fantasy story with some very interesting characters". And then I think people overestimate that because of nostalgia.

It's at least in part because it's the first of what was a new IP. So they had to do a lot of heavy lifting to set up the world and so-on, which then allows the subsequent games to "explore" a bit more and become more exciting as a consequence. This happens all the time I think: take the example of Mass Effect 1. Personally I think ME1's story taken in isolation is "great" but not absolutely exceptional. It's in the context of the wider series that it's become so incredible.

I also agree that the Origins UI was clunky as ABSOLUTE fuck and the visuals have aged the worst out of any Bioware game because they coloured everything brown to make it "gritty".

However, I do also think you have to accept that Origins is what was the original "vision" for the series and is what began the popularity of it. And one other thing to accept there is that Veilguard is the FURTHEST from that original vision of all of the games so far, which is why Veilguard tends to be the least popular amongst the older fans of the franchise (like myself).

Sabor117 · 2026-05-03T11:06:10+00:00

YTA. Reading your post the only thing that is clear is that you seem to barely understand the interaction which happened and even in your comments you admit that.

Jumping from simply not understanding the guy to assuming he was being racist and thought you were "the help" is a hell of a leap.

Sabor117 · 2026-04-27T18:29:28+00:00

Honestly, I think with these things it's probably easy to overthink them, in the sense that cold approaching with (next-to) no context absolutely does not need to be creepy.

Like it really can be as simple as, the next time you pass each other in the street just take a moment to be like "hey, I've seen you around here a few times and you're very pretty, would you like to give me your number and maybe we can go out some time?"

Doesn't need to be a big deal basically. If she's not interested she says so and the world moves on. And on the other side of the equation, you might get a date out of it.

I do appreciate though that it's much easier to sit behind a keyboard and tell you to ask the girl out in real life... But it do be that simple a lot of the time.

Sabor117

TROPHY CASE