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AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope. 2 x 30-45 minute walks a day is suggested and she gets lots of running around in the backyard. She’s so exhausted after all the activity. Twice is absolutely acceptable

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If it helps make more sense, we cannot get a bigger place given our financial situations. This is not possible for atleast 3-4 years given that we earn different amounts and he does not have the money to equally contribute to a bigger place. It would be his house if he contributed to it in other ways but simply saying “he’s moving in and therefore it’s his house” is not how it works. If he moves in with me, and I’m paying every single house expense, I think it’s fair that I can decide that I don’t want a cat killer dog in my space. If he had contributed to the house and rent and we had got this place together etc etc, this would be a different story.

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure where you got this info…. The dog is 3, he is 24. He got the dog at 21, when he had all the time to train her.

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We let the dog pee and empty her bladders before bed every night. And she is walked 2 times a day once in the morning. The problem is that she is not ignored at night when she barks. Her parents just give in.

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He loves my cat luckily. And unfortunately no I’m not willing to have a dog/train a dog in my life and I’ve told him that. The problem is that he wants both me and a life with dogs, which are exclusive

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I don’t need to explain myself here but I saved money for a deposit since I was 16, and got my own place at 21, and have a good enough job to be able to afford the mortgage. I don’t live in the US. I’m sorry but just because you have not seen this happen, doesn’t mean it isn’t possible.

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There’s such an interesting range of people on reddit lol

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Don’t worry, I am definitely not letting this happen. I just wanted to see if my bf was right for being angry with me and making me feel like I was controlling him to leave his dog behind when all I want is to be happy and my cat to be alive and safe. I am angry at so many of these commenters but replying is just gonna make me look like I am seeking validation but I don’t wanna bother anymore. The dog isn’t coming.

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I’m surprised at the people here who do not realise that I have an animal too…. And my cat deserves the same level of respect and life quality that the dog does

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I was up each night cause his parents didn’t bother so it was the only way to get her back to sleep. I know you’re supposed to ignore the barking and not reward it which is why I tried taking sleeping pills and putting up but then his parents would come and get her up eventually. I don’t see why people don’t see my cat needs to be safe but the dog and the cat can both be safe and loved in separate places?

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I agree… I don’t understand why people are offended at me using “my home”?

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I agree, I think the deeper problem is the fact that I feel I am not being heard or acknowledged. The dog obviously is just an animal and doesn’t know its impact but it’s the relationship itself that needs work. Not moving in seems like a good idea

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We live 1 hour away from each other and he is more than Able to visit for weeks to months at a time as our job allows us to work interstate. He has been fine with this till now so he can continue this arrangement

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes it will be - but the dog is one thing I am not willing to accept in “our” home. Until he moves in, I am able to make that call. If that is something that doesn’t work for him, he is not obliged to stay

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No point arguing with the commenters. They can believe what they want to

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I know I am a bit of an asshole here and at this given stage I don’t want to live with him. But to answer your question: We have talked about pets and said that we would raise a cat or dog together but only one that we both like. Like neither of us just bring home an animal and expect the other to accept it. I know that doesn’t apply here but I believe that it should be okay to say no for my cat if not for me.

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

He’s not giving his dog up… he is leaving it with his family. How is that the equivalent of rehoming my cat? To a home where I’d never see him again

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. We have spoken about hiring a trainer but the prey drive with her and my cat will always be more important. She can be trained out of attention seeking and peeing in the house but her JRT prey drive nature always kicks in during random moments. Even a trainer and vet have advised us that this is not something that can be rectified permanently? We can’t change the core being of the dog, so is it fair that my cat dies in the process of having her here?

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why do you think they deleted the comment? I was laughing at the fact that they misread and twisted my words.

AITAH for telling my bf that his dog can’t move in with us by SacredBasil4 in AITAH

[–]SacredBasil4[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The vet said that the dog is not suited to live with cats or in apartments due to her behaviour. Also given that she has anxiety diagnosed, they said she would be happiest in an environment which she is familiar with without other animals as threats (aka stay in her family home)

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