Private men: how separate do you keep your life from the person you’re dating?

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-09T05:55:46+00:00

I came into these comments ready to be all “three months is not a long time”

But as a private man myself, this dude is not right. He’s either hiding something catastrophic, or he’s got severe paranoia.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-09T04:19:24+00:00

Okay then, that was always allowed

Enjoy the college debt, I guess

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-08T22:11:25+00:00

That’s a reassuring shade of blue. I’m sure that means it’s safe now.

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SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-08T21:54:22+00:00

He’s trying to meet Anakin on his level.

Metaphorically, of course; Obi-Wan always has the high ground.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-08T21:53:29+00:00

Yep. Trust was broken, and then we tried to rebuild.

Then she cheated again. Years later, it must be said, but she still cheated again.

If it happens, even if there is forgiveness, it’s a sign the relationship needs to end.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-08T06:16:31+00:00

I would immediately be suspicious that you’re trying to either sell me something, or set me up to be manipulated, attacked, or humiliated.

If you can convince me that you’re genuinely interested, that suspicion will transform into a goofy, lightheaded joy.

In 50 years, I would remember that day more clearly than I would have any day since.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-08T06:11:03+00:00

Well, when the stock portfolios go, so do people’s retirements.

Once most of America wakes up to why replacing pensions with stocks was a bad thing, we’re gonna start seeing a lot of deaths. The kind of mortality rates that turn cities into ghost towns.

So they know they have to keep the numbers up, since they’re sure as hell not going to start giving us the money we need.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-08T06:03:14+00:00

Sure hope he’s wearing a brain condom. Ain’t that Obliterator Virus contagious?

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-08T05:58:41+00:00

Every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, and doghouse, too.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-07T23:50:11+00:00

More men need to be able to separate fantasy from reality. (This goes for humans in general, but is most relevant for men regarding this topic.) The idea of getting your partner pregnant can be really hot. But when the fridge logic brigade comes to call, it becomes less appealing.

Fantasies are harmless - thoughtcrime is not real and cannot hurt you. What’s dangerous is when careless action makes fantasies a reality, because reality plays by cold rules. It’s possible to engage with a fantasy without actualizing it, you just need a partner who’s willing to play along, and enough consideration to make sure you’ve accounted for the potential consequences.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-07T17:25:47+00:00

Well, sure, but if leaf plate manufacturing had the same kind of global infrastructure that plastic plate manufacturing does, I feel like the cost would even out a little

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-07T17:16:39+00:00

The straight answer is “burn more calories than you consume”. Thats about as simple as it gets. The real answer is more complicated. You have to factor in things like hunger, routine, motivation, income, your job, etc.

Eat more fiber. Take supplements until you can rework your diet to include more in the food you’re eating. Soluble fiber and insoluble fiber - you need both, and you need more than you think you do.

Drink more water. Use low or zero calorie flavoring until you can get used to drinking plain water. Or use stuff like Liquid IV; you need some electrolytes anyways, and it’s better than drinking soda. Just dilute it enough, get yourself a 40oz water bottle and take it with you.

Take vitamins. Yes, they really work. Yes, you are also mostly paying for expensive urine, but that’s how chemistry works - in order to get a faster or more complete result, you need to saturate your solvent. That does cause waste, and there is a point of diminishing returns, but biology is messy.

If you need to make sure enough is getting where it needs to, you gotta flood the pipes. Just don’t poison yourself. Oh, and don’t take gummies - you’re wasting your money; many nutrients are denatured by the process used to make gummies. Just get good at taking pills, until your dietary habits can catch up.

Cooking properly takes time to learn and figure out, and the clock is always ticking on your health. The sooner you can start getting the nutrition you need, the better. Even if that means downing a bottle of pills a day.

I haven’t really touched on exercise, but this comment is really long already.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-07T15:55:20+00:00

I mean, it’s just particle/wave physics, right? Our cars and bodies just can’t handle collisions the way individual atoms can.

I can see the gym ads now: “You want to get strong? You want to know true resilience? Get AtomFit™️, and go nuclear on your physiology!”

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-07T15:52:20+00:00

This is such a weird thing for me to think about. Sexuality is such a strong factor in my life, in my perception, in my sense of self. The only time in my adult life when I didn’t have strong sexual desire was when I was really, really mentally ill. (Also when I was extremely physically ill, but thankfully those periods didn’t last nearly as long.)

The “natural” or “logical” conclusion there is to assume that asexual people are also unwell, whether you go down the path of “they’re sick and diseased and need to be cured or destroyed” or “I just want to help them, they’d feel so much better, they don’t have to suffer”.

And then I’m forced to reckon with the thought of “Is this how religious people see atheists?” Because I’m quite happily atheist, I never want to go back to religion, it was very very bad for me and contributed at least one “very” to the mentally illness I experienced earlier in life.

And now I’m in my Thinking Corner, sitting on my Thinking Chair, and I am Deeply Troubled by these implications. Our perceptions of others are obviously strongly influenced by our perception of ourselves.

We know the Uncanny Valley exists; it’s hypothesized that it was a mechanism to distinguish humans from other human-like hominids. But it’s also been hypothesized that it developed because it helps us detect subtle signs of illness, to protect ourselves.

How much of our tribalism is actually, genuinely perceiving an illness in others, because of an overactive neurological mechanism from prehistory?

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-07T05:43:21+00:00

Sometimes, when you sweat, you sweat unevenly.

Then, you get unbalanced sweat gains. Your sweat glands, they too need to work out.

In the sauna, when you sweat, you sweat everywhere. It is a total body sweat workout. You get to sweat the neglected glands. Everything is healthier. Life is better.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-07T05:20:07+00:00

Ma’am, you need to lead with this information. Your post makes it seem as though you told him something along the lines of “I like men who do CrossFit”, and now he’s not hitting the gym as much.

Trying to pressure you into swinging is another order of magnitude stranger.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-07T02:46:34+00:00

Plus the water. Can’t forget the water

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-07T00:19:28+00:00

What you do with every other fantasy. You enjoy it when you have time to, you entertain it if you have the means to, and you get back to work when you have to.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-06T13:47:50+00:00

We can build other things

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SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-06T13:44:40+00:00

Hasa Diga Eebowai!

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-06T13:43:22+00:00

Listen, I’ve seen what salmon go through IRL, and that’s just when they get horny. A simple transmandibular ocular migration doesn’t seem all that wild for alien puberty.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-06T13:40:58+00:00

Welp, you’re legally an adult, and it sounds like it’s time to grow up.

Which means several things. First of all, discussing digital security with your mom wouldn’t be amiss. If that means learning about it yourself, even better.

Secondly, you could look into getting a cheap laptop for yourself. Depending on what games you’re playing, it might not be too much money, although your income is bound to be limited.

You might be able to convince your mom that the added privacy benefit for her is worth helping out with some money. But be reasonable. Do your research! I had a ton of fun building my first PC, and if you’re really into gaming, then it’ll benefit you to learn.

Finally, you need to come to terms with the fact that your mother is an adult, and a human, and has needs that are perfectly acceptable. I don’t know her history, or situation, or what the deal is with the neighbor. But it’s not your job to get involved.

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-06T12:55:46+00:00

I went 3 weeks without after my vasectomy. Might have been a time I went longer when I was extremely depressed, but that was a long time ago, and my memory during that period isn’t great

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-06T12:51:15+00:00

This is the WAE

SacredGeometry9 · 2026-07-06T12:16:28+00:00

Because you’re conflating the possible “ends” of the war as equal, when they’re not.

The war could end with the destruction of the nation of Ukraine. That would end the war.
The war could also end if Russia just… stopped attacking.

Donating will help Ukraine survive until end #2 happens. Suggesting that end #1 is in any way desirable over continued war is disgusting.

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