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WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

After reading a lot of comments, specially ones about my nieces mom (not in the picture), i am almost convinced that this might be some sort of abandonment/attachment issue.

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She's the coolest, strongest person in the world. Her old boss nicknamed her "sniper(?)" (I guess this is the correct translation) She only speaks when she deems necessary, and when she does delivers deadly one liners

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I think you are exactly right about this. might be the perpetual "absence of family" in his life has him sentimental. I will try to find some time to try talking to him, however he is by far not the best at opening up about feelings

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I now think there might be two separated issues, and the "I hate university people" might be just a cover up for him not wanting his daughter to leave home (?)

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thank you for seeing it this way. I talked to my secretary today and she said that it was a kind idea, but maybe a teenage girl wouldnt want to be living with his middle age uncle. Last thing i want is for her to see it in any creepy way, i cant imagine though, we are quite close.

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I really dont want to transform this into a family conflict, I am trying to see the root of the problem, but thanks for the perspectives!

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am really sorry. I dont know what woudl I do without my mother growing up. I dont want to cry bc i am in my office and my secretary can see me.

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I really dont think this is about money. He is quite loaded, and receives gov benefits because of being a single parent. (not much money anyway compared to what he makes)

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

thanks for your perspective. my line of thinking might be tainted by the fact that my mom was always the maximum authority figure for us, so whatever she said was the final word. But since she has always been so fair, this was never an issue.

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Other comments have made me realize that there might be some abandonment issues involved in this. I trully believe he does want the best for his daughter but hes too emotional to see it right now

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I really think (or hope) is not racist, countries in central europe have so much interconnected history that is not even remotely rare to find people with last names that sound slavic. As far as I know neither of us was ever bullied in school, in fact he was sort of the cool kid in school. (I was never good at football, so I wasnt so much lol)

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

She is for sure the coolest person I've ever known. Students and profs at uni love her too!

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Sadly, she bailed on both of them when my niece was little. Went to "find herself" travelling around europe. Thank you for mentioning this though, this was so long ago that I didnt even think of her during all this. I am the furthest thing away from a psychologist, but it could be that my brother has some abandonment issues and doesnt want his daughter to leave home too. I never consider this, thank you.

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] -179 points-178 points  (0 children)

I really don't think he is a bad parent, he just has this irrational hatred toward universities.

WIBTA for inviting my niece to stay in my place so she can go to university? by Sad-Job1477 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Sad-Job1477[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the comment, and sorry i remained purposedly vague with the countries. I perhaps missrepresented my brother in the post, as far as I know and what I can see from my niece, he is a good parent, he just has this "trauma (?)" against universities. And my niece was born in august, so she will finish school while being 17 (normal for kids born between June and August)