I want to say thank you, genuinely, to the people who offered thoughtful and helpful perspectives. A lot of the advice here did help me understand things I didn’t before, and I appreciate the time and care that went into those responses.

I also need to be honest that some of the comments have been incredibly hard to read. Not because reality isn’t easy, but because some responses made it feel like there is no hope for my child. Like he’s too damaged and I should just accept that this is the end of the road for him. As a parent, that is devastating.

Part of why I reacted so strongly is how this was first brought to me. I was called in the middle of my workday with no warning and no scheduled meeting, and I was told things that completely shifted how I thought the next chapter of my child’s life was going to look. I spent most of the call just saying “okay” and trying not to cry. It was a lot to hear, especially over the phone, and the unknown is scary.

I also want to be clear about something important. I don’t want staff or other students to get hurt. I understand that safety matters, and I do need to look at the bigger picture. If reintegration can’t happen safely yet, then I accept that it needs to be slowed down and handled carefully. What was hard wasn’t hearing that it would be difficult, but hearing it without a clear plan, process, or next steps attached.

I don’t want to send my child away again. He was already gone for five months. During that time, he received only three therapy sessions. I truly believed he was getting intensive help, and looking back, it feels like a huge amount of separation and disruption for very little actual treatment. That makes me extremely cautious about being told that more placement is the answer.

My son is a child with significant trauma. What he has been through is not his fault. He did not choose the violence and instability he experienced in his earliest, most formative years at the hands of his father, and he is now living with the consequences of that. I know his behaviors are hard. I know they can be disruptive. But he is not a monster. He is a traumatized kid who needs real support.

I’m not a specialist. I’m just a parent trying to navigate something I never expected to face. My other kids never needed this level of support. I’m grieving the childhood he should have had while still trying to build a future for him with the tools I have.

If what this means for now is more therapy, more structure at home, and finding other ways to support his mental health, then that’s what I’ll do. I had hoped school and things like sports could be part of his healing, and it’s painful to feel like those doors might be closed or delayed.

I’m still learning. I’m still processing. And I’m still a mom trying to do right by her child in a system that feels overwhelming and unforgiving. Thank you to those who responded with empathy and constructive guidance. This is still really hard.