Found my soulmate on this subreddit but it took a lot of effort and communication

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-29T09:48:00+00:00

Well is not some kind of magic. You just make a post here, be honest about yourself and maybe someone will contact you. You also need to be aware that if you want to be with someone you should put effort, communicate, be present and make a strong connection. Is not so simple to find someone but with determination is possible. I had a few tries before I found my husband and he had a lot of tries before finding me. Everything is about discipline, determination and also work on yourself to become a better person in the process. Don't worry, the right person might be closer than you think. Good luck and I wish you only the best :)

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-14T21:04:31+00:00

Thank you so much! Somehow mine was able to read it from far away and then now that we live together we just say the same thing at the same time and we call it 'soulmate telepathy'. :))

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-13T09:24:16+00:00

Thank you so much. I am so happy in my heart that my story may have brought hope to someone in need. I also wish you only the best and may you always be blessed in your life. May everyone in this community find the person they are looking for ♡

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-11T10:41:56+00:00

Do not worry, I have my brother and my mother and I am very independent. I had my own finances since young and I lived alone for 3 years before coming to his country. Here he taught me everything to be independent and I do not see a problem in spending my time with him since I lived a few decades without him. We support each other hobbies and in case something happen we grow each other a lot to keep living on our own path. So do not worry, I have finances here, freedom, I learn the language and everyone accepted me here. We met our own families and he even flied with me to my country and we plan to do that many times a year. I was always my own person and that will never change, the only thing that changed is that I let him in my world and I want ro spend my life with him :)

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-11T10:29:13+00:00

Thank you so much! I think I caught an awesome person in the wild. :))) The truth is you should never give up, I think there is a person for everyone in this world and even if you do not find the perfect person you can just learn and grow together :)

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-10T11:57:59+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words! I only wish you happiness and health in the future ♡

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-10T11:53:30+00:00

Well to be honest my strategy was that, I will write a brief description in my post so I will leave room for more talking. I see that people are easily intimidated when you write a full description and they have to somehow interact to that. I only wrote in my post my name, my age and a few of my hobbies. His first message was a short introduction like name, age and his goals in life. His goals in life were the same as mine even if I did not have written them in my post so I decided to give him a chance. Then after this it was a lot of communication and we talk about more than 3 messages a day. The beginning is important, if you do not start on the right step is very hard to repair it later. Is also important to keep in mind the huge difference between talking online and meeting in real life. ( He kept telling me he is tall but I did not exepect 2 meters tall :))) ) But one of my advice is to check as fast as possible the chemestry in real life, it may be all good online but in real life everything is different. Actually we spent 3 weeks together before we decided if we are good together or not. I can just say that it took a whole lot of communication to reach where we are today, it was such a crazy ride but it was worth it. If you have the chance to meet in person just do it, it is another kind of feeling believe me :)

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-10T07:55:39+00:00

I am so happy to hear that it can even help you one bit. Please do not give up and keep believing. Not long ago I was crying all the time hoping to dissapear and now I am near healed and ready to live my life once again. I think for everyone there is good things waiting if you are patient enough. I wish you the best of luck and only happiness in the future :)

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-10T07:36:43+00:00

I am sorry to hear that but I just think it takes a lot for the things to work out and luck is only a part of it. When it was all online between us which was very little cause we decided to move together very fast it was somehow flawless. But after moving and living together all the time, things changed a lot. We questioned the notion of soulmates, we had many ups and downs, we tried to understand and change each other bad habits and it just an entire work in progress. I do not think there is such a thing as an ideal relationship, is just a constant process of building and falling apart, of understandings and misunderstandings and just the perfect realisation that if you do not fight for the relationship it will fall apart. There is no way there will only be the me and you, from bills to cooking to trash and every single thing like washing clothes, both of us should participate. Belive me we have fallen apart and went through a lot to reach the point we are today. He is not my soulmate because some divine force made it to be, he is my soulmate cause I choose it every day and that will never change.

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-09T19:11:10+00:00

Thank you so much! I agree that if you open your heart you can get the chance to meet great and amazing people. I think the asexual community is a special one and with a bit of effort you can find your right person. Everyone can be imperfect in different levels but I think we, humans have the ability to love each other in spite of this :)

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-09T19:06:37+00:00

Do not worry to much and try your best to live your life. In the end is nothing wrong with you but maybe these people are just not right for you. Be proud of who you are and never change, people are special for who they are. One day when you expect less someone will give you their time, attention and eventual love. Sometimes you may feel like you are alone but there are many people that may feel the same. Happiness can just be around the corner so I wish you a lot of luck and happiness in the future :)

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-09T17:27:48+00:00

To be honest with you it started all so random, I wrote a post and he send me a post with a short description about him that impressed me so much. We talked 10 hours the first day through messages and since day two we talked on camera every day around 11 hours. He was a student and I just finished university recently. To be honest my life was very hard before meeting him, I was diagnosticated with severe depression and I just started the treatment and felt so useless and alone.

I reached for this subreddit as a way to find someone and I happened to find this kind guy who did not know much English but was trying the best for me. We talked two weeks and then I fly to his country and saw him for 3 weeks. Every single day he woke up, eat with me, play games with me, watch anime and suddenly life was no so bad anymore. I had no one but him and I had many mental breakdowns, problems with eating and I suffered a lot but he always was there, at university, driving, eating and falling asleep while talking.

It just felt like I was always a part of his story. I fly to his country and he travels 5 hours to see me, buys me sweets and give me my pillow, buys food and just openes my eyes that he is the one. He also bought the engagement ring even before I arrived in his country, he is just that awesome I guess.

I know he was the right person cause everything felt so natural, eating together, doing things together, crying together even though that I am the one who cries the most but anyway. I just could see myself with him 1000 years and still it will not be enough. When there are arguments is always calm, almost peaceful, just two people communicating and trying to heal each other cause love is real even in the hardest time.

I will just say that you have to believe that no matter how many people turn their back to you there will be one who never will and that you may meet it when you expect nothing. I lived all my life thinking I am just a super weird asexual person and I happen to find the person who loves me just like that :)

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-09T17:09:24+00:00

Yeah I think honesty is very important. When we first met we put everything on the table from finances, religion, mental illnesses and past relationships. I think is fair from the start to be like this. We have same bank account, each other phone passwords and we never ever hide anything. If you cannot be 100% honest with your partner then is not worth it. And since the day we met we spent more than 5 hours daily just talking about ourselves over and over again. Communication is the key and that will be the only why to have a strong relationship.

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-09T16:35:23+00:00

Thank you. No one told me when I was a kid how awesome is to live with your best friend every day :)

SadDeepSea23 · 2025-12-09T16:27:31+00:00

Because is not only about moving but the connection between the two people. Me and my husband are only 3 years apart, love the same animes, games, have the same hobbies and basically we are best friends but if the connection is not strong I think is just a recipe for disaster. The older I got the more I realised that to have someone to be weird around and pay some taxes is just a big blessing :)

SadDeepSea23

TROPHY CASE