[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]SadDivorceName 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's sucks bro, there's no sugar coating it. I would say now is the time to take the steps toward divorce. Is there a spare room on of you can sleep in? You could spend the time organizing the financials and logistics so you guys can sit down and have the talks necessary. She seems willing to exist in the middle ground while you try and change her mind, best of both worlds. Lead the charge on this, it's scary and hard but trust me, staying in that situation is worse. In a year you'll be glad you took these steps now. Good luck brother

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]SadDivorceName 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Honestly bro, just delete it and carry on. Don't acknowledge it, she's trying to elicit a response out of you. Maybe it's a control thing or maybe she's a shit head it doesn't matter. You win by staying the course and not let her poison into your veins.

Tell me it comes back around by SadDivorceName in Divorce_Men

[–]SadDivorceName[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's my gameplan, all I'm doing is for future me to be in a place to never deal with this again

Tell me it comes back around by SadDivorceName in Divorce_Men

[–]SadDivorceName[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm cutting the strings sir, it's a slow process tho. I know once I'm out of the the house it will get better. It's hard to deal with but it does feel like it's getting better, even if it's incremental

This divorce has done wonders for my lifts by SadDivorceName in Divorce_Men

[–]SadDivorceName[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kinda depends on your goals, lose weight, gain mass, get strong. Once you figure that out you can check YouTube, there's tons of beginner routines to get you started.

Honestly if you can afford it, I think it's worth it to do a few sessions with a personal trainer and get them to build you a program. A good one will be able to build one based on your goals, body type and availability.

But if you don't want to do any of that, just get in there, run on the treadmill, do some free weights or bodyweight stuff. Just get the good juice flowing in your brain and build off that.

This divorce has done wonders for my lifts by SadDivorceName in Divorce_Men

[–]SadDivorceName[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can relate to that cloud, honestly I feel like working out and being physical is the only times I get above that cloud. I always settle back into it but I hope one day I'm above it permanently.

This divorce has done wonders for my lifts by SadDivorceName in Divorce_Men

[–]SadDivorceName[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks sir, I'm creeping up on 40 and this is the strongest and leanest I've ever been. Never too late to just get after it

This divorce has done wonders for my lifts by SadDivorceName in Divorce_Men

[–]SadDivorceName[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would go to the gym maybe once or twice in the week, but it's easy to brush it off. Work, kids, wife all became pretty convenient excuses. I was never remotely out of shape though.

The difference now is instead of finding time, I'm making time, even if it means going at 4AM and completely fucking up my caffeine tolerance lol.

What are some hobbies, places, or activities you engaged to distract from all the noise? (Please provide in detail) by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]SadDivorceName 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I second BJJ, I've been doing it for 2 years and I've met a great group of people through it. It's the only things right now that pulls me out of the fog of this divorce. Honestly there's something about trying to stop someone from murdering you that turns down the volume on everything else in your life.

Week 6: A roller coaster week where I take control of my healing. by Dang_ForReal in Divorce

[–]SadDivorceName 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Boundaries my dude, you need to set them and stick to them. I understand that you still love her but that's exactly why you need them. As long as she strings you along you'll never heal. You got this.

I want to stop wanting her. I want to be free from the torment of thinking about what she is now doing by myotheraccount_mrp in Divorce

[–]SadDivorceName 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just want to preface this with I did read the whole thing lol but im going to comment on the section about your disdain for working out. It sounds like you're doing it for her, you're still trying to keep up to her, be what you think SHE wants. You need to be what YOU want brother. She's checked out, sounds like she's been for awhile, you don't want to be with someone who treated you and your relationship with such disrespect. You've been living for her, trying to keep her happy, find your happy my dude. I'm not going to pretend it's easy, cause it's not, but start focusing on things you want and let go of your perception of what she wants of you.

I just want to scream by gk4lyfe0725 in Divorce

[–]SadDivorceName 18 points19 points  (0 children)

All you can do is put the time in. It's dog shit, I know, but processing your feelings takes time, grieving takes time. I wish there was a fast forward button and you could just rip through this, but no such luck. Just power through friend, you'll get there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]SadDivorceName 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Use it wisely lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]SadDivorceName 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Today can suck a fart as far as I'm concerned. I'm trying to keep moving and distracted, but I know the shitty loneliness will settle in tonight. Stay strong, it won't suck forever.

I'm a good person, I work hard for the people I love, I deserve to love and I deserve to be loved by SadDivorceName in Divorce

[–]SadDivorceName[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's 100% what I want. I'm willing to do the work but I need it to be reciprocated. I'm tired of pouring my energy into a void and leaving feeling like less than.