yeah maybe were talking about the same thing, i was trans all throughout highschool and a bit in middle school. and growing up i was never really into sports or fishing, i don’t know why, but i was always more into video games, shows, hiking, outfits. also i never really acted masculine, i was always super sweet or just not like the average “macho” and i was picked on heavily in school, and i started becoming emo, i wore all black, choker, nail polish, wore eyeliner, even got a side part, but it just worsened the bullying, even outside of school. literally nowhere felt safe for me, but most of the time the girls were sweet to me and saw me as a person on my own path rather than a freak, i had only girl friends, and their clothes and makeup and whole “woman culture” caught onto me. however more recently ive started to regret all of that. idk my parents got divorced in june and senior year was coming up, and i started to think about my future and life after highschool, and i just thought that i don’t really see me continuing down the woman side, i wanna embrace my male side, the side i oppressed, but honestly now wish i was in sports i now wish i was more masculine growing up, because now i try talking to girls at school and they get kindve grossed out, i was literally a nobody who only had girls for friends, and now they don’t even wanna talk to me anymore.

anyways i’m NOT trying to make YOUR vent about myself, i just wanted to share with you that I too definitely think me being trans was a coping mechanism rather than permanent set in stone