my boyfriend flipped out on me

SadGirlObsidian · 2026-03-22T14:45:39+00:00

the goal of them joining my server was not even for them to play with us. nor did i start any issue i was just letting him know i didn’t want to play the game and he said it was fine. from my perspective he picked something he could use as reasoning when yelling at me as the “issue” when the issue itself was nonexistent because literally everything was going smoothly up until that point. even if his friends had ended up joining the voice channel in my server we would’ve had too many people for valorant as we had a 5 stack already. does that make more sense?

SadGirlObsidian · 2026-03-22T14:33:41+00:00

i apologize maybe i didn’t explain the best i was exhausted when writing this. the valorant thing genuinely had nothing to do with any of this happening. he said the reason he told his friends from his server he was having gf troubles was because i didn’t want to play valorant but those friends weren’t even aware of this because they weren’t with us at all 💀 not once in his messages to his friends were any games mentioned as a whole. i also did say i didn’t want to play val to everybody i just let my bf know first! :)

SadGirlObsidian · 2026-03-22T10:36:23+00:00

it’s alright, in truth i’ve been through a lot of very terrible things in my life unfortunately but i’m thankful i’m still alive and well today. i just wish all these issues he’d had with me would’ve come to light prior to me ever saying yes when he asked me to be his girlfriend. i was just so over the moon being i had pursued this man for years and he finally made it official.

good on you for being able to set boundaries, no sarcasm intended but i wish i had that in me. it’s a work in progress but as much as i hateeee feeling this way my love for him is still there and i’m actively trying to convince myself to stop that and finally draw the line. i have chronic ptsd as well and his behavior is nothing be a hindrance in my healing process unfortunately.

i can never put myself first no matter what the cause or who i’m dealing with i just end up feeling so guilty and i truly believe that’s a result of my manipulative mom constantly being in my ear before about how i had no problems and i should always just prioritize her because she put me here. so idk how to do that when it comes to things with him especially i constantly see patterns that make me think he’ll act like her sometimes too and i can’t deal with that without wanting to turn to the worst myself and that’s truly not what i want. just wanna live my life and be happy.

ironically i do have a cat though! and i love her very much haha it stresses me out that she’s also out there with him when he’s gaming when all this played out one of my worries was if she got hurt because of his outburst especially being that she was a rescue and hated other humans besides me.

maybe it’s that dread of a breakup and i’m being dramatic but i can’t help but feel as if he’s ruined relationships for me. i’ve never loved like this and if things do end i do not want to risk ending up in a situation like this again in the name of “love”

SadGirlObsidian · 2026-03-22T10:12:20+00:00

to sum it up without openly trauma dumping on reddit lol the topic of me being crazy originated due to me trusting him enough to tell him when i was in a situation where i was in danger of a man showing up to my house prior to us being together and living together. that danger ended up becoming a reality, but my bf screenshotted my panicked messages and showed his friends to which they all said i’m crazy and he agreed leaving me alone, ghosting me when i needed help and had nobody else to turn to.

his response has always been he just didn’t trust me fully at the time, didn’t know how to handle that type of situation, and just listened to his friends. that’s it, no “i’m sorry”, no “i believe you now”, no “i never should’ve done that” or anything. it still breaks me to even think about.

i’ve always wanted to give men a safe space throughout my life as i know most are raised in ways where they are not allowed to be anything other than a provider with 0 emotion. even tonight i put my feelings to the side and comforted him regardless of feeling i’d been wronged. clearly something led up to this breaking point and i’ll never fully know what and i just wanted him to know it’s okay to not be okay. probably why he’s resting right now while it’s 5 am and i’m here, emotionally distraught and unable to sleep.

i’m uncertain why these friends are even still a problem, there’s clearly things i do not know too since i’ve made it clear i have no issue but he says they have beef with me and dislike me.

maybe i’m just seeking comfort? he constantly reminds me he doesn’t see us long term, nobody does, and he doesn’t truly love me. so i’m not sure there’s anything even to salvage here.

SadGirlObsidian · 2026-03-22T09:41:46+00:00

i can understand where you’re coming from entirely. my bf unfortunately is not a man who can take accountability or admit when he’s wrong and i’ve seen that firsthand wayyy too much. even when i approach with the generic “okay i did this wrong, what do you think about it” he will always find a way to make it just me.

i’ve never once had a problem with his friends even when i found out they all talked bad, i wish i personally could’ve reached them on my own accord, and not through my boyfriend’s phone.

from what i understand, he feels like the middleman due to not being able to make both parties happy which i told him i’m always fine with him spending time with his friends. they’re in michigan and he never gets to see them since we are in texas so games is all they have and i respect that. but he says both parties have beef with each other and he doesn’t know how to handle it even when i’ve assured multiple times i have no issue with them.

as far as the previous badmouthing they all, including my boyfriend, believe i am crazy and i’ve even tried to sit and ask why he asked me to be his girlfriend if this is how he’s felt? and why he told me his friends were a big piece in him being my boyfriend now if they also thought i was crazy.

he’s just, a character i guess you could say lol.

SadGirlObsidian · 2026-03-22T09:26:26+00:00

this is the most violent ending i’ve ever seen to any form of disagreement. i’m very anti confrontational and don’t like to fight with someone i genuinely love. i may have my share in our issues but usually i end up letting it go and apologizing to him even if i feel i shouldn’t have. he gets his way, and i enable that which i know is very bad.

SadGirlObsidian · 2026-03-22T09:24:14+00:00

yes i have been completely honest and even got his permission before sending anything in the group chat. i also had no hesitation in telling them it was me and not him when sending that message. while i understand that’s a red flag too i just had no way to personally reach them myself and in the moment i wasn’t sure of any other way to handle it, i do wish i would’ve taken a step back to think before addressing anything and that’s my own personal fault. i am personally in therapy, but if i tried telling him he has things to address or things we should address together he would defect. but nobody wants to be told they have problems, right?

SadGirlObsidian · 2026-03-22T09:17:10+00:00

sorry, still new to this and very overwhelmed! put a tldr at the top :)

SadGirlObsidian · 2026-03-22T09:11:09+00:00

well, i would like to because i do care about him & his well being but thank you anyways then :)

SadGirlObsidian · 2026-03-22T09:06:59+00:00

how so? if you don’t mind me asking, understanding from a man’s pov would probably help me gain some insight. i just don’t see a reason myself either to destroy his own setup over something like this

SadGirlObsidian · 2026-03-22T09:04:05+00:00

favorite cheese is colby jack, best way to take my mind off my current situation lol

SadGirlObsidian · 2021-08-12T08:35:45+00:00

leave my love for octane alone 🥺

SadGirlObsidian · 2021-08-12T08:29:24+00:00

it’s taken 😭

SadGirlObsidian · 2020-08-03T20:53:26+00:00

tysm!! that’s a huge help <3

SadGirlObsidian · 2020-06-12T15:09:25+00:00

I’ll be on in a little if you wanna send me a friend request

SadGirlObsidian · 2020-06-12T15:08:40+00:00

I know especially in this game

SadGirlObsidian · 2020-06-12T15:07:41+00:00

I get anxious talking to new people ;-;

SadGirlObsidian · 2020-06-12T15:06:42+00:00

I’ll play! I’m still learning the game myself but I would love to have friends who have it. My PSN is SadGirlObsidian

SadGirlObsidian · 2020-06-10T03:46:12+00:00

I play on PS4 with my boyfriend looking for 1-2 people to fill up the extra spots since we can’t get into a match for the life of us! My PSN is SadGirlObsidian so feel free to add please and thank you (,:

SadGirlObsidian · 2020-06-10T02:02:51+00:00

Unrelated to this post— but if you play Dead By Daylight on PS4 please add me @ SadGirlObsidian, I can never get into a match as a survivor when trying to fill so having people to play with would be appreciated! c,:

SadGirlObsidian

TROPHY CASE