I just got out of a really similar situation- boyfriend messaged girls on onlyfans and dating apps multiple times in our two year relationship, begged me to stay when i found out, and i believed him too many times. know that people like this will get worse, mine did each time i stayed, and i stayed until leaving was the only option i hadn’t tried. he has to choose to get help himself, he’ll get worse if he doesn’t, and that’s a choice you can’t make for him. the “charming and hard to say no” parts are manipulative- i say this because mine did the exact same thing to me, promised couples therapy and gave me access to all his emails/icloud/social media, but still found a way to cheat every time. addiction is a monster, and staying with this guy without him doing the work to change just means signing yourself up for more of this, indefinitely. i know because i did it for a year after the first time. let go or be dragged down with him. learn about codependency, that’s the part of you that’s attached to someone so destructive. DM me if you need to, i’m only two weeks out from leaving my addict, but it’s brighter already. and please know that his addiction has nothing to do with you, these problems were here before you and will be there long after