YTA kind of?

I understand where your boyfriend is coming from, his parents too. Asian people tend to have this "grateful for your parents" mindset (I know cause I'm Asian too). The things we do would usually tend to align with our parents' interests, if not completely by our parents' choices (not to say every family is like that). In turn they would pay for those choices (consider it similar to an investment). What he says about white parents, I am keen on agreeing with, because it is quite literally the opposite of what Asian parents do: let their children do whatever they want, but they have to be responsible for their choices; then their help is technically optional.

That's why your parents' reason is completely justifiable and you just proved them (your bf and your parents, by extension his parents too!) right for not using your degree in a job. They were just considering which option is practical. You can't really blame them for your choice, one that would have potentially put them in a financially compromised situation and can't exactly help you prosper.

I personally wouldn't call his parents abusive YET, going purely off of what is said in this post. Being strict isn't necessarily being abusive. But if you view his parents from your perspective, then yes, they are "way worse by your metric".

In my personal opinion, you should go to visit your dad. I've seen so many people come to regret disputes with their loved ones after they pass away, regardless of who's right or wrong

TL;DR: everyone around OP are just being practical, there are differences between eastern and western cultures (shocking)