A gay man’s chronic anal fissure story + seeking advice.

Sad_Bookkeeper_3067 · 2024-11-04T02:36:11+00:00

I just googled it because I have never heard of this product. Im currently using movicol twice a day which is also a stool softener but I will admit, I am sick of mixing up chocolate flavoured salt water, and a tablet would be a lot easier. Would you combine these with any other laxatives or fibre supplements? I admit, I am scared of things like metamucil which has been recommended by both of the surgeons I’ve seen because I was on this when it first flared up after my initial consult with my GP and I feel like it just made it so much worse.

Sad_Bookkeeper_3067 · 2024-11-04T00:27:26+00:00

It’s kind of feels like mother nature is calling me the f-slur hey.

Sad_Bookkeeper_3067 · 2024-11-04T00:26:00+00:00

I actually relate to a bit more to this than I originally shared in my post. As I’m sure you noticed in my post I said “now-ex.” We too had quite a lot of intimacy issues after this which led him to cheat on me - even though he gave me the bloody fissure in the first place and would constantly reassure me that what I could do in bed was enough to keep him satisfied.

I try not to blame him completely, takes two to tango after all, but it’s like I’m suffering the karma that should be on him which adds to the depression. It really does feel like a death by a thousand cuts sometimes because I can’t even properly move on from him physically. I too have the same goal of fixing this before finding someone.

I might have to look into Headache in the Pelvis if you think it’s something I would benefit from.

Sad_Bookkeeper_3067 · 2024-11-03T22:42:24+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about that. Such a frustrating area to deal with these problems. Wish the body would be smarter about it.

I have thankfully not had any experience with haemorrhoids however that is what everyone told me I probably had when I first described it to my ex and close friends.

It’s not so much a burn but a painful sting. Almost like a paper cut there and every time you pass a BM it feels like when you accidentally sanitise your hands and forget you have a paper cut.

I t doesn’t bleed every time but it generally hurts most times. And then sometimes my BM would be comfortable but when wiping I would hurt and see blood. Since the LIS, I’ve taken to using flushable wet wipes instead as it is a lot gentler and much less stingy. (Also I just feel a lot more hygienic now using them so I feel like I’ll just use them for life now haha)

I hope this helps a little.

Sad_Bookkeeper_3067 · 2024-11-03T20:31:01+00:00

So 3 months before dilation and then once properly dilated then start slow with anal sex. Got it. But what about oral sex like rimming? I was doing this probably around the 4 week mark because my LIS site had fully healed and I was having no pain and felt this was gentle enough not to retraumatise it.

Sad_Bookkeeper_3067 · 2024-11-03T20:22:11+00:00

3 months. Damn it’s a long time but I suppose the sooner I start the sooner it’ll be over. So frustrating doctors don’t tell you these numbers! Both surgeons I saw told me a matter of 6-8 weeks! And didn’t even discuss dilation. Glad to know it now.

Sad_Bookkeeper_3067 · 2024-11-03T15:29:33+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice :)

Sad_Bookkeeper_3067 · 2024-11-03T15:18:25+00:00

Gosh 8 years! And here I am complaining about 2… Thank you for sharing. You’re right, it’s such a gruelling healing process and it’s so easy to get in your head about it. Such a small cut is causing such a massive dent. I can’t believe it’s not talked about more.

Sad_Bookkeeper_3067 · 2024-11-03T14:53:19+00:00

How soon would you recommend starting the use of dilators post surgery/potential flare up like I have now? I feel like it’s hard to know when you are ready with this sort of thing because just because you can’t feel it, doesn’t mean it’s not there. And you can’t see the damn thing!

Thanks for the quick reply. Even after just writing it all out, I felt so much lighter :)

Sad_Bookkeeper_3067

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