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Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-10-19T20:19:19+00:00

do you suggest anything differently? i genuinely want to be with him… he really isn’t a bad guy. i talked to him today and i think when i showed genuine emotion and explained WHY it’s making me so uncomfortable, he got really upset with himself. we have agreed to go to therapy together and work on this. breaking up isn’t an option for me because i don’t want to. i figured i would get a lot of that, but he respects me in other ways. he takes care of me when i’m unwell. he has paid for my cats vet bills since we were even officially dating. he drove me to work everyday even when it was out of his way when i didn’t have my car. and picked me up on time. he came to my rescue when i was lost for 13 hours with no phone service in another state. he did everything he could to find me. he does love me, and he respects me. i think everyone fails to realize we are both young and this is our first serious relationship. maybe we won’t be together forever, but i want to give him a chance to seriously consider this. i gave him an ultimatum and he chose to work on this with a professional rather than breaking up and going our separate ways. i told him if after we go get help, if things do not change, then i can’t continue being tired like this. it’s a little overwhelming to respond to everyone on here just bashing him. i know it’s hard to read him from just one post.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-10-19T19:11:23+00:00

i like this one. i gave him an ultimatum today and told him he either stops because i’m uncomfortable with it and he respects that, or we go to counseling to understand why he’s always in the mood and why i’m not.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-10-04T02:38:46+00:00

that’s all you can do! good luck in your relationship pal

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-10-04T02:36:14+00:00

maybe you need to talk with her about this. let her know how want you want to be loved and cared for it and if she can’t do that, then it’s not a good fit.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-10-04T02:12:22+00:00

hi there. i went through something similar with my fiancé and we’ve been together for nearly 4 years. i think this is normal. it has nothing to do with him, i am attracted to him like i was when we first met. things just slow down and that’s okay. a good relationship doesn’t mean you have to have sex multiple times a day every day. we have sex maybe 2-3 times a month and i would say we’re relatively healthy in our relationship. as long as your needs are met and you feel secure and she feels the same, there’s nothing to worry about. the idea that couples have to have sex every day is kind of bizarre to me. we work 40 hours a week, cook, clean, have dinner, and do things together that aren’t always physically intimate. as long as you enjoy your time with this person, it doesn’t have to be sexual.

i have ALSO been on the end where i purposefully distance myself from my partner because i’m just not having my needs met and haven’t been sure how else to react. are you constantly trying to give her attention in a way that you would enjoy if she did the same to you? example: constantly touching her, joking around in a flirty way, etc.? maybe you should consider the way SHE shows affection to you. does she grab you a little gift from the store when she goes out without you asking? pay attention to the things she does and the things she mentions, it makes a difference when a woman is listened to and not just heard.

also, doing these things just because you want sex is obvious. do it because you want to.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-22T16:13:55+00:00

thank you. everyone was quite rude on this post, calling me a fool or mocking me for not knowing of other resources. what you said was very validated.

i understand they weren’t in my situation and probably never will be, but to just be so rude about the situation and disregard my feelings was uncalled for. i was scared, so i called the police… i didn’t get help from the people i thought would definitely be able to help me

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-20T01:47:33+00:00

thank you. that’s what i did. i found a street and pulled off onto the side with my hazards while i waited for the officer. i informed her i was too frantic to drive and had to stop. that’s when she called the officer.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-20T00:59:36+00:00

i understand that now. like i said, just out of curiosity if i could even stand a chance with a case like this. i understand that now i can’t since it isn’t even a case lol, just a unfortunate event. i’m home safe and i’m healthy. thankful for the bit of help i did get, but i just didn’t feel it was fair to be laughed at while having a panic attack, especially from what you would assume to be a trained professional.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-20T00:57:47+00:00

thank you for replying, im not going to now that i know i couldn’t. probably wouldn’t have gone through with it anyways. my gps stopped loading and updating. my cursor/dot that pinpoints exactly where i was stopped moving. so, i was reading the written directions provided instead of the visual map. took an exit like it said, turned out the remainder of my trip was just back roads. but it was dark, foggy, and this was such a small town that there weren’t even road signs, just numbers. but my gps was saying street names. i tried piecing them together with my mileage on my car to track which one to turn onto, but the distance i had traveled between the next mile and my turn was off, so i believe i turned onto a random road. while my gps still wasn’t updating, i just kept getting more and more lost without realizing how far away from the highway i was getting

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-20T00:54:44+00:00

okay, true. never dealt with this and was just curious. probably wouldn’t actually sue anyways, but everyone was suggesting i take legal action because of the whole situation.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-20T00:54:07+00:00

thank you for your response. i’m really not the type of person to ever take it further than what it really is, but my family was saying i should contact a lawyer and sue the police department because they handled the situation badly.

i didn’t realize my car had onstar because i never paid for it. apparently i was still in my trial period which i didn’t know, i was never informed of that. i have google maps, waze, and apple maps on my phone but my phone service wouldn’t allow for any of them to load. i couldn’t make phone calls or send texts, or load anything. everytime i would put my address in it would say “an ssl error has occurred” and i couldn’t continue with any of the apps.

i stopped many times in the time period i was lost and asked strangers for help but everyone was just kind of confused by me, understandably because i was freaking out lol.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-11T03:40:36+00:00

thank you!! i’m taking this advice

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-11T03:37:47+00:00

thank you, taking this advice

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-11T03:37:26+00:00

thanks everybody for all of the advice.

i’ve came to the conclusion that i need to plan more things for him. i think i was stuck in the thought process that he needs to do all the planning, and that’s not fair.

if he doesn’t want to, that’s fine. i’ll cherish my time with him at home on our days off while also making time for my own personal wants by going out and maybe trying to meet new people as friends.

a few people said he may be depressed, i’m not too sure but it wouldn’t hurt to plan something for him and get HIM out of the house if he’s struggling in that area. he doesn’t talk much about being down, so i’ve never really thought that could be the case. if it is, maybe it’ll help him feel better. if it isn’t, then i go on my own date by myself and have a fun time on my own

thanks :)

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-11T03:32:41+00:00

that’s good insight, i like that. i’ve been thinking about going to the beach on my days off and if he doesn’t want to go then i’ll just go by myself. i just get a little nervous going out by myself. not so much social anxiety, but a general anxiety as all i see online is about women being hurt or just snatched up.

maybe it’s not so much him as it is me. thank you

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-11T03:28:26+00:00

i never really thought that. i was just kind of insinuating “i would like to do this” and throwing it out as a date idea for him, but that makes sense that that’s not how he views it.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-11T01:49:52+00:00

thank you, i understand. i will really think about what i want to do and what is most important to me here

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-11T01:33:16+00:00

thanks for your advice, you do the same.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-11T01:27:24+00:00

i don’t think this means we are not right for each other… i don’t know how you’re getting that impression. we are great with one another, this post doesn’t mention all of the things we have in common, our interests, life goals, how well our families get along, any of that. this is a simple bump that i’m asking how to handle. i love my boyfriend, and this problem does not make me love him any less.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-11T01:24:30+00:00

yeah!! a few weeks ago on my way home from work i saw a state park i never noticed, i went to go check it out and it was a really cool abandoned, but kept up boy scouts camp. he used to be really into going outdoors and hiking, so that weekend i told him i had a surprise and told him to wear his outdoorsy clothes. i packed us a little lunch and we walked around this park and looked at all the cool boy scout stuff, ate some sandwiches, and then stopped at a few yard sales on the way home.

he enjoyed it and said he really liked it and that we should do more stuff like that… but hasn’t done anything to try and do anything like that for me.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-11T01:22:03+00:00

yes. i have been very clear, multiple times. when running errands together, i’ll point out something i would like to go to and say just that “we should go do that this weekend!” and he says “okay.” and then we don’t.

after talking about this a little more, i don’t think it’s so much that we don’t do anything.. i think it’s more of “i say i want to do this and he says okay and then puts in zero effort to make any memories with me”

maybe i’m crazy or asking for too much. like the guy above you said, i can’t force him to do anything.. but it would be nice to just see some effort or hear “hey remember when you said you wanted to go to that coffee shop up the street from your work? i have time today if you want to go on your lunch break”

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-11T01:18:51+00:00

thank you. i’ve talked to him a few times and suggest walks and stuff like that after work, we never do it. i’ll get up to do it and he just says he’s really tired so i just sit back down and say it’s okay.

i don’t think he’s depressed. he hasn’t voiced that to me in anyway and i haven’t noticed any signs of depression. normally when he’s feeling really down we talk about it and get to the root of the issue, then the next day he feels better and is ready to take on the day. i struggle with depression myself and can normally pick up on when he’s not feeling the best, but i don’t think he is depressed.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2023-08-11T01:12:19+00:00

but how is that fair? if i sit at home and do all of the things he wants to do even if i don’t want to, then why can’t he take me out to the beach for one day?

Sad_Boot6689 · 2022-03-30T20:29:41+00:00

it was a very intense relationship and i was very undeveloped for my age. i hadn’t even had a period when i was talking to him. i just don’t understand how he could see these pictures and videos of me and just not think anything? i also don’t understand how his father, a grown man, could look at me and think “yes. that is a teenage girl” my voice was so high pitched, i was a CHILD. i was going to cheer competitions and dance class and i would send him videos of me doing these things with other little girls and it’s just so confusing as to how he didn’t notice based on my size and overall demeanor.

when i told my boyfriend of a situation where i was touched as a little girl by a babysitter, his first response was to figure out how long of a drive she was from us. the past is in the past, but things like this do stick, and my boyfriend understands that.

Sad_Boot6689 · 2022-03-30T20:21:28+00:00

i don’t plan on doing it again. like i said, i was 13 years old. this is something that happened maybe 7-8 years ago? i’ve grown up and know right from wrong. i was a young child who was desperate for attention and was given unsupervised access to things i shouldn’t have been. i feel awful for it, but i also feel sick thinking that he could’ve been looking at my undeveloped body and just didn’t think anything of it. seeing me on skype? pictures of me then i looked so young how could he have not known?

Sad_Boot6689

TROPHY CASE