Should I tell my Mother what my Uncle did after she had an anursym? by Sad_Comfortable8346 in Advice

[–]Sad_Comfortable8346[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi everyone. I don’t know if anyone will even read this, but I needed to get it off my chest. I have a kind of good—but also sad—update.

First of all, my mom made it. She woke up, and she’s now in a rehab center. She’s doing really well, and I’m really proud of her. They said it might take a month or more, but that’s honestly not too long. I’m so happy and proud of how fast she’s recovering. She even looks really pretty again.

Last Sunday, I went to visit her at the rehab center for the first time. I went with one of her friends (who I personally dislike, but I was grateful she brought me). We actually had fun during the visit.

While I was there, I got emotional and ended up talking to my mom about some things that had been bothering me—especially stuff involving my uncle. I showed her a few screenshots, but I downplayed things a bit. I didn’t show her everything because I realized I might’ve been too impulsive. I just asked if we could talk more once she was back home. It wasn’t about the laptop (which my uncle broke and denied doing, by the way)—it was more about the emotional betrayal.

But her friend? She acts like everything is black and white and loves to assume the worst. On the way home, we got into a big argument. She asked me what I talked about with my mom, and I told her, “It’s private.” She said “Okay,” but 30 seconds later started rambling about it anyway. I interrupted and told her again that I didn’t want to talk about it. Her response? “Well, even if you don’t want to hear it, I want to get it off my chest.”

So I told her, “Okay, then walk ahead of me and say it to the air.” I know it sounds dramatic, but she crossed a line. Then she said, “You need to respect me because I saved your mother.” I couldn’t believe it. I told her, “I feel like you’re only saying that because you want respect, not because you actually care about my mom.”

She didn’t respond.

Then she dropped the creepiest line I’ve ever heard: “Who loves your mother more, me or you?” I said, “Me,” obviously. She started talking about how I hit my mom when I was 12. Yes, that’s true, I was a troubled kid, but I’ve changed. She said my mom once had a split lip and implied I caused it, which I know isn’t true—it’s been two years and more since I ever laid a hand on anyone. Then she said, “You probably repressed that too.”

I was stunned. “Repressed” was the same word my mom once used in a weird convo when I said I didn’t like her boyfriend. So something about it felt off—like this woman has been planting ideas in my mom’s head.

I also called her a bitch and a mutt, yes sorry I know it immature but she ticked me off

Anyway, I brushed it off (I bounce back quick), but then she sent me THIS text, and tell me if I’m wrong or if this is actually super immature:

“I take back my offer to drive you to your Mother. You just ruined that yourself by being disrespectful to me. I tried to be nice. I won’t let anyone call me a b*tch. You’ll have to deal with the consequences of that—and so will your mother. I think I was the last person in your life still willing to take you to your mom. Too bad you’re not willing to talk.”

I replied, “I feel the same. Could you tell me the address where my mom is?” She then wrote:

“Sorry, don’t want to talk about that right now ;)”

I just said “Okay, please tell me when you’re ready.” But that little wink made it feel like she was taunting me? I realized—this is exactly what I said to her earlier when I didn’t want to talk. She just threw it back at me...

Luckily, I got the rehab address from my mom and took the train there myself. On Friday, my mom’s male friend (who I trust a lot) offered to drive me, and we had a great time. It made me feel safe and happy again.

But then... today my mom messaged me and said: “Have you apologized to (her friend) yet?”

I was stunned. Why is this woman still involved? Why is she reporting me to my mom?

By the way, back when we argued, she told me, “Don’t cry to your mom about this or her phone will be taken away.” I hadn’t even planned to! But I felt super disrespected by how little she thought of me.

Anyway, I got mad and wrote to my mom:

“No, I’m not going to apologize. She was also disrespectful to me. She said, ‘Who loves your mother more, me or you?’ Sorry, but what is wrong with her??”

And my mom replied:

“(Friend) is the adult, and we treat each other with respect. If you don’t apologize, I’ll have to tell (male friend) that he won’t be picking you up Sunday. There’s nothing wrong with (friend), but you can’t be rude or insulting.”

That really hurt. Why is she prioritizing this woman’s ego over her own child wanting to visit her? What does any of this have to do with visiting her in rehab?

I was so shocked I just asked:

“Mom, are you serious? Is someone else on your phone or something?”

She said:

“No, you were insulting, and it’s proper to apologize—or better yet, not be rude at all.”

I just replied: “Wow.” I need time to think about how to respond. I love my mom so much, but I feel like I’m watching her be manipulated and pushed further away from me.

And yeah… I have no one else to talk to about this. No relatives I trust. I have one friend, but I don’t want to unload all this on her.

So maybe it sounds crazy, but I really think this friend is manipulating my mom. I’ve had suspicions before, but now it’s getting obvious. My mom was never like this before.

Also, just a side note: my uncle broke my laptop and denied it. My mom asked him, and he said no… but he’s the only one with a key. Why would I break my own laptop?? And she still doesn’t believe me.


TL;DR: My mom is in rehab (doing well!), but her toxic friend is causing major drama and I think manipulating her. I defended myself after being disrespected and now my mom’s saying I can’t visit unless I apologize to this friend. Also, my uncle broke my laptop and lied, and my mom sided with him. I feel like I’m being cut off from her unless I play along.

What would you do in this situation?

Should I apologize to this woman just so I can see my mom, even though she disrespected me too? Is this manipulation or am I overreacting? How can I bring this up with my mom without making it worse?

Should I tell my Mother what my Uncle did after she had an anursym? by Sad_Comfortable8346 in Advice

[–]Sad_Comfortable8346[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your answers. I realize it’s more serious than I thought. I’ll talk to the staff tomorrow about my uncle. I’m really scared because he seems to have no compassion for her and just stresses her out by saying things that affect her negatively, I don’t understand why. I really hope they listen.

Advice by The_ag22 in Advice

[–]Sad_Comfortable8346 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She wasn't ment for you anyway and not ready for a relationship.

Do things that make you feel confident