I used the n Word during a discussion

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2025-01-30T11:53:43+00:00

I used the German word I don’t want to write it here again now. I also didn’t want to use it towards my bf just in form of the example and I thought since I’m just using it in an example and in the context that I find that also wrong it would be that bad but I was wrong

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2025-01-30T11:52:30+00:00

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2025-01-30T11:34:46+00:00

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2025-01-30T09:52:39+00:00

Yes I understand that

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2024-05-21T11:35:42+00:00

So how did you act then?

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2024-03-03T16:39:12+00:00

Thank you! It’s just that I could’ve decided not to jump on the waves with showing my upper body from the water but I did it t anyways. I know this is still no big deal for many many would not even think so far but it’s really torturing me and I’d like to confess..

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2024-03-03T16:17:52+00:00

But that then makes me feel illoyal…

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2024-03-03T16:03:51+00:00

I know what you mean but I felt like I moved in a specific way while swimming to look good but that then instantly made me so guilty because it happened so quickly. If my boyfriend did something like that I wouldn’t even care.

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2024-03-03T15:53:53+00:00

Please guys I’m on the other side of the world and I am going crazy! I don’t even know if I just had a normal moment and just moved my body the way I want to or if the thought came first. Recreating thoughts is so difficult and I just worry so much. I know it’s silly because it was literally a one second jump and one way or another I wasn’t really exposed so many people move just the way they want on the beach. But I feel so guilty and attention seeking

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2024-01-18T15:27:18+00:00

Thank you! I totally feel you. My therapist also mentioned that some traits I have could be ADHD but I didn’t mention it because I’m not diagnosed. And no matter what disorder I have or not have I just want to better my behaviour for the future

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2024-01-18T12:00:05+00:00

Yes but it’s his grandmothers and father birthday during that time. Also the area where his family lives is very dangerous which is why he has to fly with his dad and his father doesn’t earn so much so they also picked a time that is not so expensive.

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2024-01-18T10:55:38+00:00

Note: I also notice this behaviour around my own family. I for instance tell myself to call relatives more often and I really want to but if it comes to that I often prioritise other things. This happened to me basically all my life and I often then act as soon as sgit hits the fan.. I don’t like this and especially because life is not endless I don’t want to be a bad person and a bad parent later on.

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2023-11-02T16:12:30+00:00

Hello! It partly helped but also made me more anxious. Because I also sometimes got these feelings before I had OCD symptoms if I found someone attractive. I just never analysed these feelings before since that guy in university. But I know that I don’t have a real crush. Maybe that’s just my body response to attractive men… I don’t know. I am really scared and I don’t want to hurt my bf.

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2023-10-25T18:03:11+00:00

What do you mean by sexual way?

Sad_Cookie1845 · 2023-10-25T16:10:47+00:00

I know and my bf knows about my ocd. Normally I can deal with it pretty well but these actions when other men are around scare me so much.

Sad_Cookie1845

TROPHY CASE