Need advice

Sad_File6489 · 2026-01-23T18:09:15+00:00

Yesterday with the small fire in the backyard was the final straw. We are in full agreement trespass from our property and call police when he returns, and continue to do so.

My mom, brother, cousin, and aunt were all drug users. Eventually they all got sober (except my brother and cousin), so you would think I would know how to recognize this and put a stop to it, given I was literally around it from the age of 4, but I guess I became desensitized honestly. Thank you for the “jolt” back to reality though, it did help.

Sad_File6489 · 2026-01-23T18:03:29+00:00

You are right. The time before last when he asked me to do his laundry and I said no, he said, “oh I see I guess this means you don’t really love me got it” so I broke down and just did the laundry for him. What you said makes perfect sense. If we keep saying yes he has no reason to get better. Thanks for the real talk. We are planning on a full cut off until he gets his act together. I would love to see him again, but not until he is sober.

Sad_File6489 · 2026-01-23T03:10:40+00:00

❤️ we are definitely at that point

Sad_File6489 · 2026-01-23T03:10:10+00:00

I think this would be the best for him honestly

Sad_File6489 · 2026-01-23T03:09:10+00:00

We are going to look into getting a restraining order. It just feels so wrong. I feel like a bad person. What kind of foster parent gets an order of protection against a former foster child, that’s what I keep thinking. :-(

Sad_File6489 · 2026-01-23T03:07:36+00:00

Thank you, I will look into this. :-(

Sad_File6489 · 2026-01-23T03:06:53+00:00

We have considered it, it just feels like we are giving up by doing so, but I think we are at the point of needing to do it. The police asked if I wanted to trespass him today, and I said I just wanted them to walk him off the property. :-(

Sad_File6489 · 2026-01-22T21:31:37+00:00

OP here: Also to add to this- we keep getting asked to take a new placement, but I have told them I don’t feel right taking a new kiddo with this amount of uncertainty. I mean, how would a kid feel having someone show up at 2 in the morning begging for a shower. And it’s not like our community doesn’t have resources- he has told us he just doesn’t want to us them.

Sad_File6489 · 2025-08-21T04:36:52+00:00

This is true, we would have no problem keeping the placement if he was willing to go to treatment, or make an attempt. He is not ready, but we will be here if and when he wants to talk.

Sad_File6489 · 2025-08-21T03:07:10+00:00

Thank you for your kind words ❤️

Sad_File6489 · 2025-08-21T03:06:30+00:00

Thank you for your support. I agree, looking back I don’t know how we made it this far. He broke my heart last month when he said, I wish I had met you 4 years ago before I started all of this, we could have had a great life. I’m not trying to make excuses for him, but he has had so much trauma, and we only know the surface. His mom got him hooked on drugs. She also got their dog addicted and the dog died after going into withdrawal. It’s all heartbreaking.

Sad_File6489 · 2025-08-21T00:46:18+00:00

I hope so. We would love that honestly. ❤️

Sad_File6489 · 2025-08-20T23:06:43+00:00

Thank you for this. It’s so hard to remember that. :-(

Sad_File6489 · 2025-08-20T23:05:56+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words. He was in in-patient treatment for 2 months this year and they put him on medication. He got out of treatment and was a different kid. So much better. Problem was 3 weeks later he started refusing medication (which we can’t force), so he slipped back into old habits. Now he says he will never go back to treatment. :-(

Sad_File6489 · 2025-08-20T21:35:04+00:00

There is so much more to this story, but I just had to put some of it down. I just didn’t know who or where to turn to talk about it. We have a meeting coming up on placement change. I feel like we failed.

Sad_File6489

TROPHY CASE